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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Am I really ready for love or not or is it just not gonna happen at all

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Author Topic: Am I really ready for love or not or is it just not gonna happen at all
Member # 558

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I was just thinking about stuff last night in bed ocz I couldn't sleep. Started thinking about love and stuff and for some reason I didn't know if I want to be in a relationship or not anymore. You've probably heard me whining in the relationship forum about how much i want a relationship.

I was in a internet relationship for a while then I found out that she was going out with someone else this all happened in march 99 and it ended in feb 2000 so it went on for a while. I was very hurt and I still can't understand why it ended. I still keep in contact with this girl but not sure weather I should because she tells me about how great and good looking her man is.

I think this is why I'm unsure about a relationship because I don't want it to happen again but I don't want to be alone all my life either

Posts: 118 | From: United Kingdom | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1071

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Well, Internet relationships don't generally work out, anyhow. So don't feel to bad about that one.

If you're still wounded by the last relationship, then yea, you're not going to be ready, or even want another. So, you need some time to heal.

And you won't be alone for the rest of your life either. You have years and years ahead of you to find the right person (believe me, there is one). So, don't waste your time dwelling on your current situation-it's really not worth it.

Eventually, when you are ready, you'll find someone, all you need to do is look.

Mens' magazines feature pictures of naked women. Womens' magazines feature picture of naked women. This is beacuse the female body is beautiful and delicate, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day.

Posts: 615 | From: New York | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1515

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Love happens at different times and nobody can tell you when its going to happen. I understand you were hurt in the past relationship, but you can let that scare you into finding another one. If you dont feel your ready, then dont rush yourself, theres no rush, you have your whole life ahead of you.

But I think, if you meet a girl, dont rush into it, take your time get to know her. Maybe then you will finally want to take the next step with her. Love is a very powerful thing, but you have to be ready for it.

"The first time I saw you, I knew that I would fall for you, & now that were together, our love will last forever!!" -By: The person I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD!!

Posts: 1978 | From: NY:) | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 94

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Kev, I think it would be really wise of you to take some time out from looking for "a relationship". When people say that, I get the picture that they are just waiting for the first available person to fall into this empty slot in their life, when relationships are about more than the status of having a partner.

About the internet girl- it sounds like you need to not speak with her for a while in order to give yourself some space. Can you put her on your invisible list on ICQ or Yahoo, or whatever it is you use to chat?

Posts: 2710 | From: Australia | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 100

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Love and relationships are kind of a Zen thing sometimes, Kev. I've never, ever found a relationship when I was actively looking for one or pining after one. Generally speaking, they've tended to come my way out of the blue shortly after I've picked myself up and figured that my life was interesting and enjoyable and I was just going to go do what I wanted and needed to do, relationship status be damned.

It may not work that way for everyone, but for me, it definitely does... if I look, I won't find, but if I'm not looking, they find me. Go figure.

Hanne Blank
Co-Editor, Scarleteen

Start a Revolution -- Stop Hating Your Body!

Posts: 1538 | From: boston, ma, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

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Listen to everybody else...the said good stuff. Don't worry about finding love, and don't worry about it if you don't feel like being in a relationship right now. We all go throught stages where things like that are more or less important to us, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's not worth being with someone just so you can say that you're in a relationship, so there's no hurry to find someone immediately. Take some time and heal from this last one. Do some nice things and get in touch with yourself. Get a new hobby, start a community service project, meet new people as friends...I guess as corny as it might sound, nurture your own spirit for a while. Nothing wrong with being alone. Love will happen when the time is right..."If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile."(Lynda Barry)


"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell."
~Joan Crawford

Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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