me and my boyfriend of almost 10 months just broke up a few days ago. he broke up with me because he said that we fight way too much and hes sick of it. we both cryed our eyes out and he said that he still loves me and cares about me but he just doesnt think that theres any way to stop the fighting and he thinks this is the best thing for us right now. i told him that we can make it work and that i realize how i used to get mad at him for every little thing and that i know that if i get a second chance, i can change that i know i can. i asked him if there was any way that we could get back together and he said maybe if there was a way to stop the fighting. can someone pleeeaaase give me some advice on how i can get him to give me one more chance and make him understand that the fighting will stop??
Posts: 2 | From: canada | Registered: Jul 2001
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Things like this are incredibly hard to go through.
I know that fighting can come in waves and sometimes it can make the relationship seem bleak, at best. In order to make it work once more you BOTH have to be interested and committed to it. It's going to require effort on both your parts and if he's not willing or eager to put in that effort then I'd say let him go.
------------------ Smile, though your heart is breaking....
I was in a very very similar situation some months ago, only my ex-boyfriend never said there was a chance we'd get back together again, even if there was a way for us to stop fighting, he said exactly the opposite actually, that he wouldn't get back with me ever.
I tried to make him get back because I just couldn't bear us breaking up, but in the end I guess that was for our own good, and if for such a long time we couldn't make it work (we dated for over 1 year), chances were, even if the problem would seem to be solved in the beginning, it would eventually come back again because although we really loved eachother, we were just too different to be together.
So think hard whether you think you are really capable of making things work for you both, and have him decide whether he's up for trying again and making a clean start. If you're both up for the challenge, I guess there's no harm in trying, so long as you both know that there is a chance you won't be any different from before, and an eventual definite break-up could well be the end of the story.
A good way to decide what you want is to have a good conversation with your partner, discuss everything and explain your views to eachother, and decide what to do from there.
Posts: 390 | From: * my own little shell * | Registered: Jun 2000
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Ok, well getting back together is going to take a lot of committment and communication.
Before a fight is about to break out, think about what you're about to fight about, b/c most of the time it's little things that shouldn't be fought over, just talked over. But when you you feel a fight coming on, think why you are fighting over this and is it worth fighting over. Try to talk things out, instead of yelling.
But tell him that you are committed and you don't want your relationship to end b/c of previous fights. Tell him that you want that chance and you'll work your hardest to *try* to prevent fights, but it also takes his committment too.
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