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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » when sex gets boring :(

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Author Topic: when sex gets boring :(
Member # 3099

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hi all,

my b/f and i have been having a sexual relationship for ages now and the sex is good dont get me wrong, but we think its getting boring (doing the same stuff all the time). i dont know what to do i love him dearly. its not like what we do is not good, its just getting a bit old!?

I dont know if what im about to say needs to be editted out by a sexpert so please please guys - edit if it is too explicit!!
recently he asked me to mastabate in front of him and he got annoyed when i wouldnt. (i think he asked me to coz we had just agreed on the whole 'boring' thing.) this annoyed him immensely and he accused me of not wanting to do anything for him (i wont give him oral sex and that annoys him too) etc. which i thought was unfair, although i feel guilty and bad that i wont do these things for him even though i know he wants me too. im very confused but mastabating to me is something to do in private and i wouldnt feel comfortable doing it in front of him/ anyone. he says it would arrouse him alot if i would but i wont! i dont know what to do!?!? please, opinions would help here alot!!

thanks heaps

Light a candle for the sinners ... set the world on fire

Posts: 65 | From: australia | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Starry Night
Member # 3476

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Originally posted by angelwiththescabbedwings:
but mastabating to me is something to do in private and i wouldnt feel comfortable doing it in front of him/ anyone.

Key word - comfortable. If you don't feel comfortable, don't do it. He shouldn't be pressuring you into anything. You shouldn't feel guilty about not doing something in bed for him. That's not how healthy relationships work - they're about give and take and compromise.

My best suggestion would be to watch some movies with famous love scenes and recreate them. Spend time just kissing your partner for hours - when was the last time you kissed until your lips became chapped? Get a book like "The Joy of Sex" or some fun position books, even kama sutra. Get flavored lubes. Whatever floats your boat. Just be comfortable.

Posts: 164 | From: U.S.A. | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1896

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Some good advice from Starry here.

I'd also recommend that you simply take a break from intercourse, too. For say: 2 weeks. Do everything but intercourse. You might discover some new things or discover sensations you had completely forgotten about.

And really, if you aren't comfortable doing something like masturbating in front of your partner, then don't do it. I think your partner should better not pressure you into things you do not want and rather accept your boundaries, because if someone doesn't do that, he just isn't a good partner to have.

Hope this helps a little, gal.

~spanking new Scarleteen Sexpert~

"We must become the change we want to see."
Mahatma Gandhi

Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1881

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First: you don't owe your boyfriend anything.

You've agreed that perhaps your sex life is getting repetitive. That's okay. I've gone through the same thing. There are endless possibilities of things to try to spice it up. Tons! And some of them you might be comfortable with, while others you won't. You two need to brainstorm and come up with some stuff that sounds exciting to the both of you, without making anyone feel uncomfortable.

And your boyfriend has ZERO right to get angry at you because you don't want to masturbate in front of him. It's reasonable for him to ask you, but if you refuse then he should immeadiately let go and let it be forgotten. Pressure is completely unreasonable. Same with oral sex. What it basically comes down to is that you shouldn't be doing anything you aren't sure or comfortable with.

Smile, though your heart is breaking....

My crazy little universe....

"Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there....
With open arms and open eyes...."


Posts: 289 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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