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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » LDR communication?

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Author Topic: LDR communication?
Member # 4484

Icon 1 posted      Profile for zay     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, so far I've done pretty well -- 2 months in an LDR in which I'm here in Kansas and my guy is over in Australia! We met online sometime last year, fell in love a couple months ago. We have a couple little problems though..

We've always communicated through the internet. No other way to contact those friends I meet online, since my mother is incredibly paranoid about such things. Also, his being eight years older than I am would cause, well, let's say it would cause just a bit of difficulty with my parents if they knew. They don't even know I'm in a relationship with him -- I'm afraid if they did, they would let their prejudices get the better of them and try to ruin this wonderful relationship I'm in.

The real problem is, I'm moving twice in the next half year, and won't likely have any sort of stable internet connection. None of the everyday-type communication I've been having with my sweetie.

So I'm wondering how you other people in LDRs communicate with your partner -- maybe I just want to be depressed, or maybe I think I might find some sort of inspiration as to what I might do..

Plain ol' advice is welcome too! hehe.

~* Zay

"Oh my hero, so far away now.. will I ever see your smile?
Love goes away, like night into day.. it's just a fading dream.."
-aria de mezzo carattere

Posts: 10 | From: Wichita, KS | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1371

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Hm. I'm in three LDRs right now, and I've met them all in the same set of Internet communities.

Primarily, I talk to my sweeties on those communities, but we also communicate by ICQ and by email. I talk to one of my sweeties on the phone a lot, but the other two I talk to pretty infrequently. Time between visits (they're all in the US, where I am) varies too.

If you're not going to have a stable connection, often times public libraries will offer their users half hour or hour blocks on the Internet. There are also cybercafes where you can rent Internet time. Both of those would be ways to keep up with your sweetie even if you don't have "net from home.

Have you considered plain old snail mail? While I recognize your parents' paranoia, I would recommend coming clean about the fact that you'd like to at least be able to correspond with this guy. Maybe your parents could help you set up a post office box or something so the guy doesn't know your real address, or help you find a mail forwarding service that would forward your letters. Or, you could just ask if you could give him your snail mail address so you two could write letters to each other.

I wish you the best of luck!


Posts: 3077 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 94

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You know, in the three and a half years I've been using the internet, I swear half the online relationships I've come across have involved an Australian (and this seems especially common at Scarleteen as a matter of fact)- I guess we just must be attractive folk.

Seriously though, you do have options- not being able to talk over ICQ every day won't be as good, but you can still email (even if you need a net cafe to do so) and as Erin suggested, snail mail is an option.

It's not completely surprizing that your parents are concerned- after all, the internet is fairly anonymous, and he is a lot older than you. One friend of mine, who had parents who worried about her online relationship, got a respected person who knew him (like a teacher, or something) to write in commending his character- if your parents are paranoid, that may well help them see that he's an okay guy.

Posts: 2710 | From: Australia | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 4484

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Well, thanks for the help, I'm officially going to have no stable internet connection starting tomorrow, so, tonight was my night of sad goodbyes and all that nice stuff. Hopefully this whole situation will work out.

Thanks again.


Posts: 10 | From: Wichita, KS | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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