I don't think anyone should have a set schedule as to when they'll "go all the way" (I'm assuming intercourse) with their partner. And I should add that not all relationships have sexual intercourse as that final goal anyway.
You can be ready to have sex with one partner, say 2 days into the relationship, while you could never ever be ready for another. That's just how it is. You can't stick readiness on a calendar, it varies from one partner to the next.
o gosh, im sorry if i made you mad, i didn't mean it like that.
it could be 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years, just like you said!
and i didn't mean that it would be the finale.
i dunno. my cousin and i are best friends, but we are totally and completely different. she sleeps with someone after she's known them for an hour. im different, there has to be commitment and love. i just wanted to see about other people.
Hun, I'm not mad and I'm sorry if you perceived it that way. Thanks for clarifying the question. When you said "how long" I assumed it to be "time" but I understand what you mean now.
Posts: 681 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jul 2000
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I dated my ex for half a year before we had sex and I realise now that I wasn't actually ready for sex.
There were alot of things we didn't talk about and thus were not prepared for. Things like protection.
I am a big believer in casual sex though and time really doesn't make that big a difference to me. As long as I am comfortable with the person, know what I am getting myself into and am protected, I probably won't mind going all the way.
And of course, I just have to use this thread to plug our ultra funky must read. The Readiness Checklist
Sex is entirely dependent on the people in question. I've been going out with my boything for just over a year now and we're very happy in a loving relationship. But we haven't had sex yet and we're doing just fine with that.
I guess I'm going to do it when I feel comfortable and ready and feel like the moment is right. I don't know when that will be and I'm not opperating on any sort of calendar, so who knows?
------------------ Smile, though your heart is breaking....
This is an answer that is different for every single person...for me, my boyfriend and i have decided not to have sex. we've been dating for 14 months, but neither of us would be ready or willing to handle the possible consequences, so we don't. we're both old-school believers in the wait til there's legal committment way of thinking. it's a personal choice.
Posts: 59 | From: Mountaintop | Registered: Nov 2000
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I am a male and sex is almost like a need to me, I don't mean to say it like that but thatz how it is. but thatz only me personaly, other dudes might differ. Some males in a relationship if they don't get some they will get it from someone else, but then again if they get some too early they might feel like they accomplished what they were tryin' to do and you will probably never see them again. so itz yor choice.
I have had several casual sex experiences. Meaning I've only known the person a few hours before having sex. And then I've had boyfriends I was with for months and never had sex with. My current boyfriend and I slept together a week after we starting dating. All of these experiences were good ones in my opinion.
So for me, it depends on the situation and the person I'm with. But my view is that sex is just a very powerful way of expressing yourself to someone, not something you do only when you love the person. Although, I do think it is much more powerful when there's love involved.
------------------ Lil Siren -Scarleteen Advocate "Those are some BIG ice cubes...."
My answer to this question is--logically--whenever the two people in the relationship are "ready." In order for me to be ready, my partner and I must have been recently tested for STDs. There would have to be safer sex supplies handy. Include just about everything in the lovely readiness checklist mentioned in Lin's post.
So if both partners are physically and emotionally ready for sex, and if they're prepared to guard against potential consequences by practicing safer sex, hooray for them. It's already been determined that this isn't necessarily a time issue. A couple could be ready for coitus in days; conversely, they could be ready in months or even years. There's no unit of time that should pass before two people have sex. Wouldn't it be odd if such a defined time period existed?
Posts: 87 | From: bay area & new england | Registered: Apr 2001
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i waited for about three moths till i felt i was ready. my b/f had been asking for a while when we were gonna 'do the deed!' while not pressuring me into it. i waited till i felt it was the right time for me which i think is important. i also really loved him and i wouldnt have slept with him if i didnt! (not that i could sleep with someone if i didnt love them anyway, thats just how i am i suppose!)
------------------ Light a candle for the sinners ... set the world on fire
I've been with my bf for 14 months, and we haven't had intercourse yet. We've been talking about it for about 6 months, and are ready to go through with obtaining birth control and all, and we know what we'll do if I happen to get pregnant, but since neither of us drive right now, actually going somewhere where we could be alone is what's holding us back. It's his 17th birthday in a few weeks, though, and he gets his license then, so...
------------------ "Do what you will, always.. Walk where you like, your steps... Do as you please, I'll back you up.." ~DMB
Hey babe whats up?? Your question has quite a simple answer: there is no specific dating length before you have sex. Its not a written rule. The time for you and ure partner to have sex is completely dependant upon ure true feelings for your partner as well as their true feelings for u and when you feel your ready. If you are comfortable to discuss matters like this seriously with your partner and are prepared to be prepared (buy condoms, have pretty extensive knowledge of contraception) and are fully aware of any repercussions then that is the time when you are ready. As long as you know about the risks you are taking and you feel you are totally ready to deal with the emotional as well as physical aspects of intercourse, I say go for it!! (with a condom, that is )
Posts: 13 | From: Cali,USA | Registered: Jul 2001
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I definitely have to feel serious about the person and feel they're serious about me. The length of time we've been together is unimportant but I have to know we have the same intentions - that we're both in a committed relationship with each other. I can't get into the idea of casual sex at all. If I liked someone enough to want to sleep with them I'd definitely want to be more involved (not just physically).
Posts: 42 | Registered: Sep 2000
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