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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » This relationship is too important, I'm just confused as hell

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Author Topic: This relationship is too important, I'm just confused as hell
Meltigem
Neophyte
Member # 3554

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I've been with my girlfriend for eight months. This is my first relationship with a girl, let alone with anybody at all! This is her third relationship and she tells me all the time that it was her most serious one.

She's INCREDIBLY dedicated to me. She cares soooooo much for me, anybody would be incredibly envious of it. I'm the same way, I care an extreme amount for her too. My day just lights up when I see her, same for her. We can't stop hanging around each other and complimenting each other. You would think that a relationship would die down a little bit at 8 months, but I feel it's just beginning, and that there's so much more left for it.

That's my problem, though... this is my first relationship. I've never experienced a breakup before, and I don't want to. I've always wanted my first relationship to be my last... and I'm the luckiest person in the world to have met the most wonderful girl in the world!

But I'm graduating by the end of next year (I just passed to be a senior in high school). She's barely going to be a sophomore. I told her I'd be able to stay here in our city and go to the local college until she graduates, then we can go live somewhere else and go to college somewhere else. But I don't see that probability very high because of a lot of complications.

I'm scared, too... incredibly scared, that I might lose interest in her with time. I know it sounds like a complete ******* thing to say... but I've never experienced another relationship! I don't really want to... but I don't know what to expect! She keeps telling me she'll never get tired of me, and I tell her the same thing. But how will I know for sure?

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Maybe the most that we can do
Is just to see each other through it.

Ani DiFranco


Posts: 14 | From: Texas, USA | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cypher
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Member # 1881

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The real honest truth is, hon, that you'll never know for sure. No one can. It's unfortunate, but it's life. There isn't really anything that can be done about it.

This is a hard thing to grapple with and I went through the same thing you're going through. You're so in love and you never want that feeling to end. I'm not one for statistics and I've been in my first relationship for nearly a year now, and there is most definitely a serious possibility for this one to be it for me. I know the fear of not knowing what dating other people is like, though. I thought it was just something that everyone was supposed to do before they could settle down with anyone. But if you have something good, that both of you really enjoy and cherish, why go throw that away on the off chance that there could possibly be something better out there. You already have something wonderful! Be content with it and enjoy the ride. Roll with it. That's the best advice I can give.

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Smile, though your heart is breaking....

My crazy little universe....

"Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there....
With open arms and open eyes...."

-Incubus


Posts: 289 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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when it comes to college interfering with a relationship, i'm a bit cold and harsh, but here's my 2

are you sure you will feel like this by the time you walk across that stage? a lot of things happen in the span of a year.

maybe it's my personal set of priorities, but education is going to be important no matter what. from what i've seen putting your college plans on hold for someone else will only hold you back. college is an experience unlike any other; you will meet new people, see new perspectives, think in different ways. that can change a person and it can change a relationship.

stop fearing the future and enjoy her while you still have her. make the most of your time together.

and as cypher said, you can never know for sure. we're not clairvoyant, and i can only guess you aren't either. whatever happens will be: que ser, sera.

and don't think i don't know what it's like. i'm a senior in college, and i'm facing the end of a happy relationship this time next year. but i'm enjoying it while i can.

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i use angst


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lin
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Member # 2050

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I just ended a relationship which stretched over 3 years and 4 months. It was my first as well and I know what you mean about wanting it to be your last. I wanted that as well but you know what hon, break ups happen for a reason.

I don't regret ending this relationship at all. It had to happen and I am just going to learn from it. Don't worry so much about the what ifs. As everyone has said, no one has any idea what is going to happen.

Enjoy the time you have with your gf and you know, if the day comes whereby you really have to look at ending the relationship, it is probably for a good reason. And sometimes, it might be for the best.

It also sounds like you might have a problem with trusting the things she says. I know it is hard to imagine that this other wonderful human being could choose to be with little ol you but hey, that is what is happening. And instead of doubting her, which can really suck, trust her. Know that she loves you and heck, indulge in it if you will.

Be open with her, keep the lines of communication wide open and enjoy all the time you have now with her. Let the future be the future. You will deal with whatever comes your way when it does. Good luck hon.


Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
short stuff
Activist
Member # 3415

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you know what? i know how you feel.

some personal advice/views on it from me are : when i was in my relationship, my boyfriend said he loved me and he would never leave me. he would always promise and then yu know what he did? he broke that promise. i think that you should not make any promises you cannot keep. those are the worst promises.. and with you going on to college and her still in high school, it may be hard. talk to her about how you feel and ask her how she feels. it is better that you have mutual feeling on this and how you put it, you do.. but if you do think u might move on.. then maybe this isnt meant to be. seriously... anything is possible in life and unexpected things happen.. feelings change and sometimes you cant do anything about it... i hope that you make the right choice not just for you but for your girlfriend too. if you need to talk or something.. feel free to reply. =)


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(heart) always, torrance

*so you stole my world, now i'm just a phony*
*i need to know if you were real, i'd hate to think that i've been fooled again*


Posts: 90 | From: seattle, washington, usa | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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