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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » dont kno how to say no....

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Author Topic: dont kno how to say no....
*ShellerBabe*
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i am soo stupid, i don't kno just how to say kno to this guy! I KNOW he is gonna ask me to have sex with him tomorrow after school, cuz he asked me today to chill w/him and i said i wasnt feeling well, cuz i wasnt. I mean, it is like he EXPECTS me to have sex with him because I have done it with him already a few times! I DONT WANT TO, and that is that, but i have no idea how to say no. i know you are gonna say, "just say 'no'" but it is really hard, cuz i get embarrased if i have no explanation. PLease help me on this one...i feel like a stupid jerk who doesnt kno how to make her own decisions.
i wish i could just scream "NO!" and walk away, but he lives next door to me which makes me really mad. I wish he would move away and never come back

Posts: 117 | From: America..~*hehe*~ | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
*ShellerBabe*
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you guys, i just realized i posted in relationships, and i am really sorry if it is the wrong board 2 be posting in
Posts: 117 | From: America..~*hehe*~ | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Pinkest FLAVA
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well why did you have sex with him in the first place? obviously you've given the guy the wrong idea, just tell him staright, its not gonna happen again, cos i was a mistake and you don't like him in that way? or do you?

i can't understand HOW u could have done it so many times with him if u don't even like him??

strange!


Posts: 33 | From: the darkest corner of hell...well i feel like it *is depressed* | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Sheller,
Want to give me/us the 411 on who this guy is so we have some perspective?

Last I recall, you were dating an older man and spoending some time being celibate. is this that guy?

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
*ShellerBabe*
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no...it is my ex boyfriend whom i was on and off with. We had sex a few times, and yes i do regret losing my virginity to him, but I do not want to have sex for a long time now, especially with him!
Posts: 117 | From: America..~*hehe*~ | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
*ShellerBabe*
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quote:
Originally posted by Pinkest FLAVA:
well why did you have sex with him in the first place? obviously you've given the guy the wrong idea, just tell him staright, its not gonna happen again, cos i was a mistake and you don't like him in that way? or do you?

i can't understand HOW u could have done it so many times with him if u don't even like him??

strange!


i USED to like him...till i found out who he really is...omg im gonna cry...i just dont want to deal with him anymore


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Heather
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Then that is EXACTLY what you say to him, chica.

"I don't want to deal with you anymore, leave me alone." period.

Because you did something for someone once does not mean you are obligated to do it again, whther it's sex or loaning a cup of sugar. You do not need an explanation, nor is anyone owed one. Simply saying, "NO, I don't want to, and by the way, you're a royal creep," should suffice nicely. if it doesn't talk about legal actions. Works every time.

But sounds like after to nip this in the bud, you need to work on you, gal, and get some backbone so you feel better about yourself.

It's easy to say no if you recognize that people should like you not for how you serve them, but for who you are.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 06-04-2001).]


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
*ShellerBabe*
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quote:
Originally posted by Miz Scarlet:
Then that is EXACTLY what you say to him, chica.

"I don't want to deal with you anymore, leave me alone." period.

Because you did something for someone once does not mean you are obligated to do it again, whther it's sex or loaning a cup of sugar. You do not need an explanation, nor is anyone owed one. Simply saying, "NO, I don't want to, and by the way, you're a royal creep," should suffice nicely. if it doesn't talk about legal actions. Works every time.

But sounds like after to nip this in the bud, you need to work on you, gal, and get some backbone so you feel better about yourself.

It's easy to say no if you recognize that people should like you not for how you serve them, but for who you are.


wow... thanks so much you made me feel a lot better about myself. if he walks with me after school tomorrow (cuz he usually stays after, but he said "oh i might surprise u and go on ur bus") and asks me to go in this trailor wit him to "chill", I am just gonna say "No, I'm sorry, but I don't want to do ANYTHING like that with you anymore. why? because I don't like you like that and I dont really need a reason!" or at least something like that..whatever pops into my head. I'm not goin 2 fall into his trap no more (if i ever did). Cuz obviously he wants 2 use me to get some action and I am not doing that.


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Gumdrop Girl
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shellerbabe, i used to not be able to say "no" either, and it landed me in a lot of trouble.

my best advice is to be somewhere else. make plans to go somewhere else. go get coffee and read after school or something. tell him you have plans and you can't spend time with him.

don't let him make you do anything you don't want to do.

and screw it, if there is no polite way to say "no" then stop being polite.

------------------
i use angst


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*ShellerBabe*
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thanks for your advice, guys! no, he didnt come on the bus today after school, but whenever or if he does (i am really praying that he won't, because we only have 5 days of school left anyway!) i will say i dont want to cuz i just don't like him like that. if he gets me pissed, im gonna yell at him and walk away. lol :P
Posts: 117 | From: America..~*hehe*~ | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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