do best frens make the best couples? have anyone fallen for your own best fren who is of the opposite sex? i think i have on mine... any advice on how to deal with it? i m so confused on how i feel because i m avoiding him and he seems to be so much closer to me :0 .. what shall i do? he said he liked me more than a fren but he is not sure of his feelings towards me...
Posts: 14 | Registered: May 2001
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My gal is my best friend, and she was before we got together. I'd actually guess that's WHY we got together. However, I'm pretty hesitant on saying that best friends always make the best couples. Sometimes, I've heard, things can get really uncomfortable in such relationships, especially if the people involved have different expectations of what's going on. I guess that can be true of any relationship.
I met someone and we are getting to be pretty close friends, and I'm thinking it would be great if this relationship turned out to be more. (Except that it's online, so I'm being very careful and allowing time to do it's thing as well) It is 110% okay to turn a best friends relationship into something more (if boths sides feel the same way of course). I think it's better to be with someone you know, love and trust than with someone you *just* met. Before I start dating a guy, I prefer to get to know him a little more, like a friend, before I'm cool with going out with him.
Just a crazy girl's two cents
------------------ "Blessed Are Those Of Us Who Can Laugh At Ourselves, For We Never Cease To Be Amused!" -Unknown
I *almost* fell for my best friend last summer. You have to understand, this guy is THE sweetest, THE funniest, THE most loyal, THE smartest and (one of) THE cutest guys around. Well, that is, if you ask me. Anyway, we had never been anything more than friends, and we had never wanted to be anything more (people began to question my sanity ), until I started to get those suspicious butterflies in my stomach when I saw him by my locker. I kind of let it go on for a while, and considered asking him out, but one day he said to me, "Angel, (well, he didn't say angel, but I don't want to post my name) you are one of the most important people to me, and I'm a bit embarrassed, but I have to tell you that I've found myself falling for you...but I can't go through with it. You see, I know that at some point, all young romances fall apart, and almost all of the relationships end right there, and even if there's a chance we would be an exception I don't want to take a chance with you, because you are my best friend. And now that I've totally made a fool of myself, let's go get some ice cream, shall we?" Or something like that, not those exact words, but close. At any rate, I totally agreed and it was good to get off of my shoulders. I wouldn't date my best friend, because it would be too much of a risk, and I'm a total wussy.
That said, it's totally fine to get together with your best friend. I mean, all the necessities of a good relationship are there...the communication, the common interests, the mutual liking...you can't be best friends, after all, unless those are all there. If you want to elevate it to the *next level* then go for it...but understand that there's always a risk involved.
It sounds to me like your guy is definitely falling for you, so it's basically your decision if you want to "go for it." If you think you can make it, and the love is there, then by all means, give it a try! You can always call it off, and there's a good chance you'll be able to remain friends anyway. Am I totally confusing? Yes, in fact I'm confusing myself...but what else is new.
So there's my confustabling (don't ask) opinion. Good luck!
------------------ Nobody knows what you know, nobody's seen what you've seen, nobody's lived what you've lived...so why let them judge you? ~Personal Quote~
I fell for my best friend. And she fell for me. We never did anything about it except for talking (fairly recently) and it was possibly the best time of my life when we knew that we felt something but were too shy to do anything. I just got back from her house, actually.
Posts: 290 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Feb 2001
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OK, I've posted a similar version of this before, but here goes:
I fell for one of my guy friends. I still like him, actually. Hey, he's sweet, he's smart, he's talented, and pretty dang cute. I was nervous, confused, and exhilarated all at once. I eventually decided to tell him. I was incredibly nervous, and when I told him I spent most of the time looking at my feet. But he was very nice and understanding about it. He told me that he didn't feel the same way, (which hurt) but he was glad I told him and we made a pact to put friendship first. Now I feel so relieved that it's out in the open. It's a little awkward at times (I still can't look him in the eye! ), and I do get a little jealous sometimes, but for the most part it's great.
------------------ "Only in dreams We see what it means Reach out our hands Hold on to hers But when we wake It's all been erased And so it seems Only in dreams..." -Weezer
Not to long ago, i posted something similar to this asking if i should tell me best guy friend, i had a crush on him. well anyways i did and i found out he had a crush on me too. Right now, we've been on a few dates and I think we'll be seeing a lot more of each other!!
My best friend and I had feelings for one another at the SAME TIME in the tenth grade, but neither one of us had the courage to tell the other how we felt. After a month or so I felt my *romantic* feelings for him wanning, and in the end they just disappeared completely. Perhaps if we had told one another things would be completely different today, but reflecting on it now, almost four years later, I'm really happy that he and I never ended up getting together. He's like a brother to me and I honestly believe that if we had gone out it would've ended and I might've lost him. I'm really happy now, though, with him and the different guy I ended up with.
------------------ Smile, though your heart is breaking....
My boyfriend is my best friend. We had a LONG time together before we became a couple, though. We met in November of 1993 which makes it about 7.5 years ago. Anyway, I had a crush on him, sort of, but I was very young then (12) so it wasn't like a huge romantic "I want to jump you" kind of crush. *grin* Plus, he was 3 years older so I knew there was no way that I could act on it. After a while I thought it had faded and he definitely became my best friend and like a brother to me, but I was a REALLY jealous best friend.
His girlfriends all in their own ways were nervous about me. The first one was the worst, though--very controlling and basically tried to convince him he did not need friends. He ignored me for a long time and finally I told him that if it continued I would have to have him out of my life because it wasn't right... anyway, he stopped ignoring me and his girlfriend started to call me a witch (which is funny now because I am pagan, although not a witch...). Anyway, I got along all right with his other girlfriends but I was always more jealous than is probably healthy and they kind of sensed it although they tried to be my friend. I kept wanting to tell him how I felt in between these girls but I didn't feel comfortable because I was supposed to be the friend, and support him, as he was dealing with the end of a relationship, and I thought I'd look REALLY jealous and like a bad person if I told him, "Well, you know, we could always date" right after a breakup. So it just never happened.
Then, after his last relationship ended, he asked me if I wanted a boyfriend (not in those exact words) and I basically said I wasn't interested in a relationship at the time. Then I started to discover that I was attracted to girls and I decided that he and I would never be anything but brother and sister with him, (and by then, as much as I had wanted him, he really was like a brother to me and it felt weird to think about him romantically. Very weird. So I didn't.)
Finally, a friend of ours, I'm assuming, noticed that he was pretty bummed about that decision and asked us both when we would start dating. I was pretty shocked and I put up a fight... It is definitely weird to start thinking about someone who's been a brother to you for so long in that way and I wasn't sure if it would work out. But here we are 2.5 years later.
Because he is my best friend, I know that we will always agree on the really important things, and sometimes it's nice to rehash all of that and be reminded of how much we agree on. I also know that after all we have been through we are very, very unlikely to split. We've been in one another's lives in one capacity or another for too long. So I am really confident in us. I don't think that there's anything wrong with dating a best friend but the beginning CAN be rocky.
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