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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » I'm neurotic!

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Author Topic: I'm neurotic!
Cypher
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Member # 1881

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Hey, everyone!

Well, I'm having a little difficulty at the moment. Some of you know me better than others and those of you who do know me well also know that I happen to be a neurotic worry-wart.... It's just something in me. I worry a lot and often for no reason.

Anyhow, my boyfriend is off in Oz for two months right now. Actually, he'll be back in two weeks and a bit. Now, we've done okay so far and I'm not at all worried about infidelity or anything like that (we hurdled that a while back). The thing is that it's really hard to get what he's really thinking and feeling from his e-mails. I don't know. Sometimes they seem really superficial and detatched and distant. I mean, he has nice things to say, but it feels like there's nothing backing them up, y'know?

He also calls me once a week and my issue here is whether or not I should bring up my worries and all that to him while he's away. See, I don't want to put a damper on his fun, but at the same time I'm driving myself bonkers with worry.... It's all my own fault and I think it's all in my head, but somehow I have zero control over how I think and feel. I want to just let go of all this but the last time I did that was in October when he went away to New York for two weeks. I just told myself I had nothing to worry about. Then things had changed and we broke up for a little while (15 minutes) when he got home. It was a mess and if we had only talked about it while he was away we would've never had this problem....

I don't know what to do. Talk to him or no?

Thanks, guys!

------------------
Smile, though your heart is breaking....

My crazy little universe....

"Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there....
With open arms and open eyes...."

-Incubus


Posts: 289 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
$uMMeR
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Remember that last time he went, you didn't talk to him about your worries, and when he came back, it was all a big mess?

Do you really think you can prevent something like this from happening again by talking to him? Because if you do, then my advice is to talk to him.

He'll understand, he can't yell at you because of what you feel. Maybe last time he was angry that you hadn't been honest with him about your feelings.

So talk to him and be honest.

------------------
*Read my diary

*Read my page

*And...alwayz :)


Posts: 194 | From: city of Anghelz | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Siren
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I always feel it's good to talk about things when you feel them. I think in this situation it's probably a good case.

I'm actually a worry-wart too, but unfortunately my worries are usually true (especially when it comes to relationship problems). I always think it's just me overreacting, until I realize my worry has turned into a problem that probably could have been talked about and fixed.

So, the point of my rambling is to talk to him now. I'm sure your worries aren't going to ruin his fun. Hope it goes well.

------------------
Lil Siren

Read My Thoughts...


Posts: 190 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lin
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Honey, I don't want to trivalise your feelings by saying that you are only feeling that his emails are detached and superficial because he is away and you are on your own feeling all these horrible things like suspicion and worry.

But could it be true? That because he is not writing what you want to see, it's upsetting? Fabian always used to accuse me of that. That I only got upset because I felt that he wasn't telling me the exact things I wanted to hear.

If you are getting really upset, then yes, let him know how you are feeling. Calmly and rationally. This would probably make the both of you get through the phone call in a better state of mind. Next time he calls, just let him know how you feel. Chances are nothing might be solved while he is still in Oz but it would probably make you feel better. *huggles*


Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cypher
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Member # 1881

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You guys are the best!

Thanks for the advice. We talked some while he called and it made everything so much better.

------------------
Smile, though your heart is breaking....

My crazy little universe....

"Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there....
With open arms and open eyes...."

-Incubus


Posts: 289 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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