There's this guy I know, and we're not exactly friends. Actually, we're constantly insulting and teasing each other. A few of my friends have noticed this, and think that it means we like each other. I've been telling them that I don't like him, but now I'm starting to believe otherwise. When we can speak civilly to each other, I realize I can have a good, intelectual conversation with (which I find rare). Most of the time, though, he's either torturing me, or he's saying how much he loves me (and he knows it bugs me). I sorta want to find out if there could be anything between us, but if I say something, and he doesn't feel the same way, I'll never hear the end of it. Another choice is to ask one my my friends to ask him, which would mean I'd get a big fat "I told you so", and still run the risk of him not feeling the same and torturing me about it. It's sort of a sticky situation... what can I do?
------------------ ~*~ "It's not just the green ones, all of them make me horney"
Neither really, I just needed that info to answer this decently.
And yes, it's pretty common for people who aren't very experienced with dating or flirting to antagonize one another as aa means of doing it. You know why because you said it yourself: it's safe. Even if one of you "trips up" and says something in earnest, you can always say you were kidding.
I'm not a big fan of involving third parties in relationships. It tends to make more trouble than anything, IMHO.
Really, I say take it as it goes. Most relationships simply develop over time, rather than being "started" by one person or another. If over time you find you two do get along and like each other, then it'll likely start to flow pretty naturally.
If all you do is antagonize, you may want to think about if that's the sort of relationship you really want.
Trading insults is something I usually do with very close friends because I know that they don't mind and of course, I get insulted back. But that's our way of showing affection for each other. Weird, I know.
And that could be what he is doing but if some of his insults get out of hand you might want to just tell him that this is something you would rather not joke about.
And if you are uncomfortable about actually finding out if he likes you, then take things slow. See if your friendship eventually develops into anything more. As Miz Scarlet has said, these things take time. So give it time. Gd luck sweetie.
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