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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » test

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Author Topic: test
Member # 2539

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Alexquestion     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I appreciate anyone's advice on the following...

Periodically I lash out (verbally) at my girlfriend, accusing her (without sufficient reason) of cheating on me. This is very hurtful to her and damaging to our relationship. She likes to go out and have a good time with her friends. I am insanely jealous.

[This message has been edited by Alexquestion (edited 04-11-2001).]

Posts: 6 | From: New York City | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2517

Icon 1 posted      Profile for beautiful_teardrop     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You probably have ussues with insecurity and low self esteem. Try to talk it out, find whats bothering you, look inside yourself...
Posts: 23 | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2908

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Camzie13     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
If u are jealous of the time that she spends with her friends, try to set up a time that u can be alone with her. Also...try to remember, she needs a social life outside of ur relationship. Just like u probably need some time with the guyz. Another thing is try talking to her bout what's buggin u. keep me posted on how it goes.
Posts: 147 | From: NJ | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3250

Icon 1 posted      Profile for SweetBeyond     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I understand what you're going through..

How long have you been dating your girlfriend? If you've been dating a short amount, chances are you don't trust her that much, in which case it's natural to worry about her cheating on you (just try to limit the accusations). If you've been dating her for a while, why are you worried? You two already put so much time and effort into this relationship, I doubt either you or her would screw it up now..

It's natural to feel the way that you do - you don't want to get hurt. Just ask her what she does - don't spy behind her back or accuse her without proof! Ask if next time you can tag along. If not, go hang out with the guys.

Girls are just like guys when they're hanging out.. they just sit around talking while doing some activity.. (and generally, girls see shame in cheating). You have no reason to worry.

Remeber, she has the same right to accuse you of cheating, but you know that you're not. Put yourself in her shoes, I guess, is what I'm getting at.

Relax a little.. girls come and go! If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, don't upset the relationship now, which could potentially end it. Relax and ride things out!

Hope I helped a little..

Posts: 63 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3243

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Siren     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I have to wonder why you think she is cheating all the time? This can put amazing strain on a relationship and it's really no fair to put accusations on someone. It seems like you already know your girlfriend isn't cheating. To me, this sounds like a pretty serious problem.

I would suggest sitting down with your girlfriend and talking about your jealousy. I'm sure it stems from a low self-esteem problem of some sort. And I think it's something you should work on together. If you can't control your jealousy, my only suggestion would be to take a break from your girlfriend and try to sort it out with yourself as to why you're so jealous. So, talk to your girlfriend. Hope it gets better for you.

Lil Siren

Posts: 190 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2321

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Alex2000     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thank you all for your responses. They were helpful to me. I have not yet gotten a chance to talk to her because we've been away from each other for a little while.

Everyone's advice seemed on point. Certainly self-esteem plays a part, and Im thinking about that alot. It may also be the way I take out stresses on her-- which is an issue I am really working on.

Thank you all, again for your advice.

PS SweetBeyond--thank you so much for your thoughts-- they eased my mind a great deal.

Posts: 2 | From: New York City | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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