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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Boyfriend's parents hate me!

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Author Topic: Boyfriend's parents hate me!
Member # 1894

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I have this problem with my boyfriends parents. First off I am older than my boyfriend, and I can drive and he can't. Since his parents dislike me very much, they will not let me drive him anywhere, but they will let his friends.
Also, I am very talkative in nature, and they do not believe that I should be as open with my thoughts as I am.
I am having such a hard time coping in this situation. Every time I go over to his house, I get insulted or hurt very deeply and it is very hard for me to keep my mouth shut so I don't get in trouble!
What should I do?

Posts: 7 | From: United States | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3243

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I'm not really sure what you're saying to make his parents so upset or how long you have been with your boyfriend but I'll answer as much as I can.

I am someone who has different beliefs than certain people, and I've learned when I can open my mouth and when I can't. If you're saying things that your boyfriends parents don't like in their own home, then I can see why they are not happy with you. It's their house and while you're there, you have to be respectful of what they want and what they don't want. It's their house, not yours, and it's your responsibility to respect them. I think that's the first thing you need to do. If you're not sure what is and what not is allowed, ask your boyfriend about the rules of his house, or ask his parents themselves. Then follow them.

And as far as not being aloud to drive him places, that's understandable. I'm sure it's nothing agaist you personally, they probably just don't know you that well yet, don't know how you drive, and therefor don't trust you yet. Give it time. I don't think this situation is really as bad as you think. His parents don't hate you, they just need time to get to know you and realize you are an important part in their son's life and you're an okay person. And that happen in time, hang in there and good luck.

Lil Siren

Posts: 190 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1894

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well, I have been with this guy for over a year. His parents know how well I drive, and I have been driving for quite sometime.
I know that they dislike me, because they have told me so.
I don't know if that helps any one.

Posts: 7 | From: United States | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

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Ohhh dear ... I used to be in your situation

I have a really really big mouth. I'm very vocal w/ my feelings and stuff ... My biggest problem is anything to do w/ sex. I don't see a reason to hide anything, and a lot of people don't like that. It happens, but it's not talked about. That's when the trouble starts

Did you ask them why they don't like you? It's ok for your feelings to be hurt, but honestly, no one has to like you. If you live your life trying to make everyone else happy, you're not going to happy. It's too hard trying to make everyone happy.

They have every right to dislike you, just like you do for them, whatever the reason. You do have a right to know why tho, and maybe you can try to stop whatever it is you're doing to tick them off. Even if it's sticking a clothes peg on your tongue while you're around them

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2176

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I feel like in some ways i'm in the same situation, with parents in general not likeing me, at first they love me but then they find out who i really am and they don't like me. i dunno my bf's rents act like they don't like me sometimes. But intead of going into detail about it i'll tell you how we deal, how i deal. I just don't care, i just don't. It's like if we wanna do something, we do it, and if my bf shows that he really likes me to his parents by you know showing that they can't stop him from doing stuff with me. Like once his parents said he couldn't do something and he said "i wanna sleep here tonight, and thats what i'm gonna do" he got in troble, yeah but his rents learned something about us, and our love. So maybe one day your boyfriend needs tojust say "mom dad i'm going for a ride with my girlfriend, see you around" and just go.

it doesn't matter if his parents like you, it matters if he likes you.

Posts: 162 | From: NYC | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2658

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Have you talked to your boyfriend about this?

Because if you have, and nothing is changing, then maybe you should put things off with him because he isn't standing up for you.

Ask them why next time. Just say it, the next time they say they dislike you. "Why?"

Don't let them treat you like this. If it is really unbearable (did I spell that correctly?) then just totally avoid them as much as possible.

*Ignorance is bliss*

*Read my diary

*Read my page

*And...alwayz :)

Posts: 194 | From: city of Anghelz | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2050

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Why don't you just ask to sit down with his parents or one of his parents (whomever is easier to talk to).

After that just tell them very reasonable and calmly that you really like their son and you know that they don't really like you very much and this is upsetting you greatly. Ask them why they don't like you and you would love to try and get to know them better if that's okay with them.

If they say No and treat you horribly still, forget it. You have tried your best and if nothing works, just stay away from them. Bring them little gifts during Christmas and their birthdays. Basically, kill them with kindness. ALways be polite. No need to be rude after all and hopefully things will start to improve. But just always be courteous and as nice as you can be.

I hope things work out sweetie.

Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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