Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Post-sec issue....

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Post-sec issue....
Member # 1881

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cypher     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey, everyone! I need advice!

I've sent a letter off to my boyfriend (who is in Australia right now) about next year. I suppose he's going to be receiving it tomorrow night.

Before he left we promised one another that next year we'd go to school together. Now, we've talked on the phone a couple of times and this promise has sort of wavered back and forth with both of us.

In this letter I'm asking him whether he wants to stick to this promise or not. I'm not asking him where we should go to school, but whether or not we should go together. And I've told him that I want a final, honest answer because my father is coming over next week and he and my mother and I (YIKES!) are going to be sitting down and talking out my post-secondary future.

All I'm asking for is an answer. A real one either way. Just for next year. I know it's shitty timing, but I need to know before my parents get together. This letter has ended up being really long (10K) and I just don't want to scare him off while he's away. I mean, this is serious.

The letter is ready to send, but I'd like to hear what other people have to say before I send it. Do you think I'm making a mistake and I'm going to make him break up with me?


Posts: 289 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2050

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Lin     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Why do you think your letter is going to make him think you want to break up honey?

I think what you are asking is totally reasonable. Just explain to him why you need an answer so hurriedly and this has nothing to do with the relationship.

But maybe shorten the letter a little? I would be scared off by such a long letter sweetie.

Just put in the more essential points. Anything else I'm thinking you guys can talk about it over the phone or at another time.

Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3243

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Siren     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I would definitely cut the letter down a bit, and just leave in the important question you're asking and why you're asking. That way it's straight to the point and not long and drawn out which might cause him to miss some things or misunderstand something....and that's not good when you're not right there to clear it up. So make it nice and simple.

Just to reassure you; I doubt he'll break up with you for asking whether or not he still wants you two to go to the same school. I think it's a very honest questions. Let us know how it turns out.

Lil Siren

Posts: 190 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i've got big hesitations about waiting for people. that goes for making promises about which school to go to. it's fine if you happen to be at the same school, but picking a uni because your sweetie is there can be a risky move. what if you don't like the school? what if you break up? then you're stuck at a lame school. picking the right school is so important, after all, it is *your* future and no one else's.

as for the letter, 10k is a bit lengthy. it could get tiresome to read. and i'd find a letter that long a little intimidating.

This space reserved for the free exchange of thoughts and ideas.

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3