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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Crap, I need help

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Author Topic: Crap, I need help
Member # 2826

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Delvain     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I met this guy tonight that I really like, but im worried, we went pretty heavy tonight and Im going to see him tomorrow night, I dont want to be having sex when we only dated 2 days.Also Im scared shitless of getting pregnant.I dont know what I should do.
Posts: 16 | From: Houston, Texas, USA | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 94

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Beppie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Here's the chant: Don't do anything you're not comfortable with.

It seems like you've made up your mind that you don't want to have sex, and therefore, the logical answer is to say "no", explaining that you don't feel ready, if he should ask you about it.

Posts: 2710 | From: Australia | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

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Just another suggestion ...

If you don't trust yourself, don't put yourself in that situation. I've been in many situations where i knew i'd end up doing something i'd regret ... and i did it anyway. I have very little self control. I've proven it many times over.

My suggestion ... Either don't go, or make sure you have a recently purchased (in top notch shape) condom handy just incase. You can never be too careful.

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1896

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I agree with Beppie, it definitely sounds like you've made up your mind that this isn't the right moment for Intercourse and Sex with this guy, so now communication is key - tell him if you don't want sex. And mean it, too!

Regarding your fear of pregnancy, make sure that when you *do* have sex (manual, vaginal, oral or anal - btw I agree with Smuf, sometimes one decides on this rather spontaneously) that you practice it safely, which not only protects you from pregnancy, but also from STDs, which is just as important, really. For more info, check out our fabulous "Safe Sound and Sexy" article.

So my advice would be, only do what you're comfortable with. But being prepared for all scenarios is definitely a must, too.

"To be nobody but-yourself -- in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else -- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."
e.e. cummings

Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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please for the love of the pet shop boys, don't just sleep with him 'cause it's what he wants or 'cause it's how you "won't lose him."

for starters, sex doesn't glue relationships together. they can find the door just as easily the morning after.

secondly, just 'cause you were into heavy petting the night before, doesn't mean you have to have sex 'cause that is the "logical" next step. the next step is whatever you want it to be, even if that means going easy and backing off a little bit.

i did plenty of things that i didn't feel comfortable about when i was in high school (i learned to say NO when i got to college, sort of) and all it got me was self-pity and a ton of trouble with my parents.

This space reserved for the free exchange of thoughts and ideas.

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1881

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Stand firm with your feelings and beliefs.

If you aren't ready or comfortable with something, then just don't do it. And don't let anyone else make you feel like you should be doing it.

Smile, though your heart is breaking....

My crazy little universe....

Posts: 289 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1515

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Do what you feel comfertable with, if you dont want to have sex then don't, its perfectly ok. Im sure he will understand. Just tell him you dont want to go to far when you have only be out together for only two days. Nobody can make you do anything that you dont want to do.

If you are scared of getting pregnate just have a condom on you just in case. Better dafe than sorry. Good Luck hunn


"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't" -Erica Jong<~~~no thats not me :)

*~*Scarleteen Advocate*~*

Posts: 1978 | From: NY:) | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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