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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » My friend

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Author Topic: My friend
Member # 2101

Icon 1 posted      Profile for CallMeBuffChick     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well my really good friend was dating this guy for awhile and they really liked each other. Well her b/f got into come trouble and now he has to move up state.

This isn't the first time this has happen to her. During the summer her and her last b/f were caught having sex by the police. Since they're both underage there was a court order that they couldn't see each other till they both turned 18. They still managed to see each other but he was soon sent out of city to live with his grandparents.

The thing is I don't know what to tell her. I feel so bad for her because she liked both of these guys so much and she told me that she feels empty without them. The only thing I know what to do is just be there for her but I feel like that's not enough. What's a girl like me to do?

To be a princess is to be an actress, but not necessarily a good one.

Posts: 433 | From: Wichita, Ks | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1515

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Be there for her. Yeh just like you are.

Theres really nothing you can do to help. It sux I know, seeing your friend in pain. But what CAN you really do? You can't bring him back to where she is, unless your a judge. I just think staying by your friend and listening to her, and being there when she needs a shoulder to cry on, is the best thing. Shes lucky to have a friend like you who cares so much.


"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't" -Erica Jong<~~~no thats not me :)

*~*Scarleteen Advocate*~*

Posts: 1978 | From: NY:) | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2059

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maybe help her meet some fine upstanding young men? after she feels better? lol

no, seriously, i agree with glitter. i don't think there is anything you yourself can do, even though you want to help her and you don't like to see her hurting. feeling better is a process that takes place within her, with time. she'll be fine eventually, i promise.

in the meantime, the best you can do is to try to help her think about the good things in her life. hang out with your girlfriends, watch 80's movies (ohmygod, we just watched Top Gun yesterday and it was AWESOME! tom cruise was SO HOT back then! anyway...), cook (check out my cooking topic), or play with makeup, or go shopping...the possibilities are endless, and i know you're a sweet person and you can do a lot for her


Love is a word that is constantly heard
Hate is a word that is not.
Love, I am told, is more precious than gold.
Love, I have read, is hot.
But hate is the verb that to me is superb,
And love but a drug on the mart.
Any kiddie in school can love like a fool,
But hating, my boy, is an art.
-Ogden Nash

Posts: 786 | From: Washington, DC | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 607

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I agree with everyone, there is nothing you can do to make everything magically okay for your friend. But what you can do is tell her, "Listen, I care about you, and if you want to talk I'm here."

And one very important thing you can do is keeping her living life. What I mean by that is, if she starts backing away from things she loves, doesn't want to go out, etc., make her go out. Do something as simple as taking her to a nearby diner, to your house. She has every right to be sad now, but don't let that sadness take control of her life. And again, just be there for her. Let her talk about her feelings and LISTEN to her. Sometimes that can be the most comforting thing in the world. Hope things get better for her and more power to you for being such a sweet friend.

}{*Starry Ali*}{
"You just close your eyes slowly like you're waiting for a kiss, and hope some lowly little power will pull you out of this..."

Posts: 367 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2101

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She's not getting any better! She hasn't been to school since he left. She says nothing is right at home anymore, and that she never wants to love a guy because he'll just leave her again.

I was on the phone with her Thrusday night and she was talking about running away with her sister. I of course yelled at her. I told her the world was not going to stop turning and life goes on, and that running away wasn't going to solve anything. It'll just make things worse. I then asked her where she was going to go if she ran away. She didn't say anything. Her only reply was oh well.

She wasn't at school on friday and neither was her sister. She hasn't called me and I'm getting worried. I feel like I'm wasting my breath trying to talk some sence into her. What do I do? Help her or let her learn for herself?

To be a princess is to be an actress, but not necessarily a good one.
Don't dream your life, live your dream

Posts: 433 | From: Wichita, Ks | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2050

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Sometimes, we just have to let people learn things the hard way. Even if they are people we really love.

Try talking to her again but don't get agitated and start yelling again because screaming always makes the other party get agitated and in the heat of the moment, you could say things you don't really mean.

So just talk to her or write her a letter. Even better, go and look for her.

If she really doesn't want to listen, there is really nothing you can do hon. Just let her know that you are and will always be there for her.

Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1168

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I know it's really hard for you right now but all you can do is be there for her right now. You can't make her be happy or even go to school. What you can do is encourage her to start getting busy again (activities always take your mind off your problems) and moving on with life. It's the worst feeling in the world when you know your friend is unhappy but there's nothing you can do about it. They are in charge of their happiness not you.

You could write her a letter or phone her or go over to see her. Just let her know you're there for her and that you care about her. Good luck with it.

Posts: 303 | From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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