My sister is a VERY regular partygoer and when we were having a little girl2girl chat, she said to me that when a guy wants to make out with you or have sex with you at a party, it doesn't necessarily mean that they want to go out with you or start a relationship...I was wondering what you guys think about this.
------------------ If your not happy with yourself, you'll never be happy with others.
If you randomly meet someone at a party and end up doing anything with them, chances are that you're not looking for a relationship. Because if you were, wouldn't it make sense to get to know then first instead of saying "hey there's an empty room". I don't think there's anything wrong with that, per se, but I'd say that majority of the people who do this don't end up having a long relationship with the person tht ISN"T about sex.
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yea, I'd pretty much say that your sister is right. I know that when my friends go clubbing or to big parties they just want to hook up with someone they meet, and not necessarily get to know them.
blargh. i guess for some, *hooking up* is okay. just to *get some*. but personally i can't deal with it.
"i never kissed someobody, so that they would break my heart...that's not what i want...that's not what i will start" -lisa loeb
i always get too emotionally involved, and for such serious acts (even if is "just kissing"), i feel it should be special and not just another random hookup. these acts lose their grace and beauty when it's just a common *no feelings* thing.
------------------ have i been wrong? have i been wise? to shut my eyes and play along?
you never know. In my country there is a saying that, "there are no nice guys in town". But this isn't true. The ones who are saying it are the ones who are afraid to make a commitment to a guy.
Posts: 28 | From: København, Denamrk | Registered: Feb 2001
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Why do people tend to go to parties? To have fun!
Everyone has fun in different ways. Some people like to just enjoy themselves in the moment and not seek anything beyond that. My senior year of highschool (last year) was FULL of parties. On Monday the gossip would just start to fly over who hooked up with who or who did what. Usually by Tuesday afternoon all was forgotten.
The one downside to random party hookups is that sometimes the two people involved aren't always on the same page. I remember one girl (we'll call her Jessica) had an incident with one of my friends (we'll call him Doug). Jessica and Doug ended up spending some time during one party kissing and cuddling. After that she developped a huge crush on him and wanted to have a relationship with him. From the beginning, at the party, Doug told her he wasn't interested in a relationship and that he was just having fun. He didn't want to hurt her later on. But she hoped that perhaps if they hooked up, he would change his mind. He didn't. She was very hurt and he was left feeling very guilty. It was a very messy situation all together.
But it certainly isn't impossible. My boyfriend and I got together when we went out with a bunch of friends to a beach party. We spent the night hanging around each other and flirting and at the end of the night he confessed he'd had a crush on me and I confessed the same thing back to him and he kissed me. And if we hadn't gone out that night there's a great possibility that neither one of us would have gotten up the nerve to tell the other person how they felt. So it just goes to show....
If you get into a situation where you may be hooking up with another person it is best to HONESTLY clarify your intentions and have them do the same thing, BEFORE anything ends up happening. They can be nice, one-time things, but they can also go sour and leave people hurt.
Also, at NONE of the parties I ever went to did people end up just hooking up for sex. Of course, these were all highschool parties, but still.
Yeh the *friends with benifits* thing. I think if you are into that sort of stuff and you are smart about it. (Like using potection, birth control and all that good stuff).
I dont think I could have sexual intercourse at a party because if you get emotionally attached to the person and they dont want a relationship and you do, then its a hard thing to go thru. Maybe I would makeout at party. Only kissing. I never really thought about it that much, I just thought about having fun, not who I was going to have sex with at the party.
------------------ *~*~12/3/99*~* *~*~*~I LOVE YOU BOB FOREVER AND ALWAYS*~*~*~
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't" -Erica Jong<~~~no thats not me :)
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