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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Religion and Children

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Author Topic: Religion and Children
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 226

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The "Religion" topic in this forum got me thinking... for those of you that are dating someone outside of your denomination/religion, have you all given any thought to how you plan to raise children, if you're so inclined as to have them?
I'm an atheist, as is my girlfriend so it isn't an issue for us. But, I'm still curious as to how other people plan to deal with it, if they've planned to deal with it at all.

Posts: 1515 | From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Hmm ... interesting question

My bf is atheist and i'm somewhat undecided. I believe in a higher power, tho i'm not sure who or what this person/thing is. My beliefs are sort of pointing to buddhism i think.

If i were ever in a relationship that differed that much in religion, i would want to raise the children w/ both. I understand that that can be sort of confusing to a kid ... like saying "there is a god" "no, i don't believe in god" is extremely confusing. Even to me. And i'm far from a "little child" (or so i like to think ...)

If the parents can compromise on ONE religion, then that's great. If not, maybe saying "mommy believes ..." and "daddy believes ..." might work out just as well. Let the child go from there. Help him/her explore both religions and when they're older (I was 16, i AM 16), they can decide what THEY believe.

[This message has been edited by LilBlueSmurf (edited 01-24-2001).]

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Member # 1514

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i dont really have a religion. my husband is wiccan. my kids can be their own religion i will not push beliefs on them, they will believe what they believe. any religion they want to believe is fine. my husband agrees. the only thing about religion that i will teach them is to not preach at other people or try to push their beliefs on someone else.


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This might sound dumb but I sometimes believe that there is only one God. That all religions are actually praying to one God. I dunno why but I just feel that way.

I will bring up my child to understand that what goes around comes around. I'm very big on karma. And basically to lead his/her life the best way possible without murdering/robbing etc.

And as he/she grows older, I'm sure he/she will be exposed to different religions and then I will let me child choose for him/herself.

It doesn't really matter to me because I believe that as long as you lead your life with a clear conscience and well without hurting anybody, that's enough.

Money Saver Tip:Don't waste money on expensive, tawdry wiglets. Collect all the hair you shave off your legs, armpits and eyebrows for 6 months and glue carefully onto an Alice band. Voila Instant luxurious tresses - Kaz Cooke

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I am a Christian and for me I think that the best solution to this problem is to not get into that situation. I won't date anyone who doesn't share my's a personal thing, but I believe that if God said it, that there is a reason behind it. This as always, is just my opinion and it doensn't mean much to anyone but me. Only you know the qualities you look for in a guy (physical, mental) and religious preferences are no different.

[This message has been edited by SurfGal (edited 01-26-2001).]

Posts: 81 | From: Jacksonville, FL. 32218 | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Please do remember, however, that whatever "God said" is what is attributed by a book, a pastor, you, what have you, to whomever "God" is in your particular traidtion.

None of my personal traditions have any dogmatic rules or restrictions whatsoever about whom I rear children with as far as what their own traditions are. Many traditions do not focus on that sort of "sameness.".

And as we've said in other areas, very VERY few people nowadays who are Christian follow every tenet of the Bible to the letter (Do you wear pants? Do you shave? Do you plan to have any sexual activity for any reason OTHER than to procreate?), but adapt their tradition and beliefs to the current environment as best they can, and to a way that fits them best and feels the most right to them.

And so long as doing that IS best for them and everyone around them, I have a really hard time picturing a loving omnipotent deity who would have a problem with that.

As a former schoolteacher, I can say that MOST of the families whose children I worked with had a melange of nationalities, traditions, religions, beliefs and social strata. And I can't think of one time when that alone caused any real problem whatsoever for a child. In fact, I'd be inclined to say that some of the most well-adjuested kids I encountered benefitted from that diversity in their families greatly because it taught them acceptance and tolerance, as well as giving them the understanding that many people have many different ways of relationg to spirit or religion.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

"If you're a bird, be an early early bird --
But if you're a worm, sleep late." - Shel Silverstein

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I've thought about this. My boyfriend now is Roman Catholic, I'm wiccan, we've had many talks about religion and he believes in God, but he doesn't believe in organized religion. I believe in Gods and Goddesses as well as many other things.

I was raised in the Roman Catholic church but my parents let me choose my own religion and I always liked that. It taught me that I am my own person and I wasn't afraid to talk about my beliefs are opinions when they were different, because my parents allowed that. I think I'd like my kids to feel that same freedom in voicing their choices and feelings.

In my opinion children are unique individuals and they should have the right to make their own choices about religion. If someone, like a grandparent, wanted to bring my child to church I wouldn't object, that way they're exposed to that type of religion. I'm sure we'd tell our kids our beliefs as well but now push it on them. I think this is one of those things that I'd really rather say, "I'll cross that bridge when I reach it." But those are my general thoughts of it now.

}{*Starry Ali*}{
"D'you get scared to feel so much? To let somebody touch you? So hot, so cold, so far, so out of control. Hard to come by, and harder to hold."

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Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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I don't plan on forcing my children to go to church or learn Sanskrit. I'll emphasize the importance of faith and ethics. I'd be most comfortable explaining which religions believe what (as unbiased as I can) and let them choose when they're old enough to understand. But I will practice openly, so when they ask, "What's mommy doing?" I can tell them.

Inspected by Number 26

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