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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » sexually active again?

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Author Topic: sexually active again?
Member # 2393

Icon 1 posted      Profile for CrayolaChica12     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
last year, my boyfriend of 2 years and i had sex for the first time. two months later he broke up with me. it took a while, but i got over it and now im in a new relationship. the only problem is that my new boyfriend thinks that since my last boyfriend and i are sexually active, that atomatically means that we will be. i like him and all, but there is so many things going on in my life!! how can i take on another thing like this? am i wrong? all my friends that ive discussed this with say that it would 'do me good' to be in a sexual relationship again.
what would you do?
what should i say, besides LEAVE ME ALONE? i don't want to be mean or anything

Posts: 13 | From: Elk Grove Village, Illinois, United States | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 589

Icon 1 posted      Profile for SlowCookie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Just because you've been sexually active before, it doesn't necessarily mean that you must always continue to do so. For whatever reason, people do choose to abstain from sex during certain periods of their life. There's nothing wrong with that.

You sound very certain that you don't want a sexual relationship. Make sure your new boyfriend knows that. If he says, "It doesn't matter, it's not like you've never done it before, so what's so different now?" First have a talk and tell him your reasons for not having sex. If he doesn't listen and continues to pressure you, get rid of him. You don't need a guy pestering you about sex when you have so many other things going on in your life. As for your friends' advice, if you don't want a sexually relationship, it will never do you any good to have one.

Check out this article-
Sexual Communication

Posts: 681 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 607

Icon 1 posted      Profile for StarryRedhead     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think you've made up your don't want to have sex with your new boyfriend. Only you know what is best for you, not your friends. Try to explain to them your reasons for not wanting to have sex at this point in your life. And explain it to your new boyfriend too, he should understand and respect your decision, if not, he's probably not worth being with to begin with!

}{*Starry Ali*}{
"Oh you know how it is, wake up feeling blue, and everything that could be wrong is including you. Black clouds and rain and pain in your head, and all you want to do is stay in bed. But if you do that you'll be missing the world, because it doesn't stop turning whatever you heard."

Posts: 367 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2232

Icon 1 posted      Profile for surferChicka     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
u have your right to not be sexuaLLy active if u dont want to be. he shouldn't automaticaLLy aSSume that you guys are going to be. "to aSSume is to make an '*** ' out of 'u' and 'me'."

that's a gOOd article that slowcOOkie recoMMended.

peace, love, & seXwax!

[This message has been edited by surferChicka (edited 01-20-2001).]

Posts: 117 | From: Honolulu, HI | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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