Hi, I have a question, well maybe I just want your opinion on it but here goes...it's kinda long but please read it all. Ok, There is this guy that likes me He is black and I am white, he is a really sweet guy, I am a junior and he is a freshman, he is in all junior classes so he is real smart, he is funny and sweet and pretty much an overall great guy. The thing is my dad don't agree with interracial dating, my mom don't mind but she would be like "you know what your dad will think about that" and get upset at me. I really want to date him or at least get to know him better but I am afraid of whta my family might think. I think that what I want to do is just go for it, I don't want my dad to hate me but thins is who I am and I think that he is just gonna have to accept that I am going to live my own life, I don't want my life to be controlled by his ignorance because thta would make me just as bad as him. I don't think hw will do anything about it or try to stop it I just think e will talk alot of crap and make me fill guilty for doing something he don't like. But what I am asking is for your opinions on the subject and my situation. I believe I am 16 years old and I should make my own decision on my judgement, please respond. Thanks.
Posts: 89 | From: Newton, NC, USA | Registered: Jun 2000
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Well, right or wrong, you're 16 and you're still living under your parents roof and as such, you're under their rules. You're right about how you have to make your own decisions and stuff, but still, you live there. So my suggestion would be to be friends with this guy. Don't jump into anything, just be friends, get to know him.
------------------ "Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell." ~Joan Crawford
Kitten's right, save the "I'm going to live my own life" stuff for when you do live your own life (which isn't now).
Until then, just be friends with the guy. If you think about it, he might seem like a great catch now but he may end up being a better friend than a boyfriend, so why risk a family fallout over it? If you're not up for the friendship, I suggest having a talk with your dad.
But if you do get to be good friends, you can invite the guy over to meet your dad. To your surprise, he may end up liking the kid, you never know. I'm being overly optimistic, if he's been prejudice all his life, I doubt he'll change now. However, your friend might be a start.
I should add that whether you date him or not, you can still have important conversations with your parents about racism.
In fact, it'd likely be a very big mark of your own maturity to be able to say, "Okay, Mom and Dad, I respect your judegment and your rules, and so I will not date this person right now, so long as you are asking me not to. However, I think he is a very good person, and someone I'd like to get to know better and I certainly would like to be his friend. I would also like it if all of us could have an ongoing discussion about racism, because I'm very uncomfortable with making decisions about people based on nothing but their race."
And, I think that would be a very important discussion to have. You just may help your parents a great deal by having it.
Hey this sounds just like me and my b/f. He's a junior and black. I'm a freshmen and mexican. He's really smart,sweet,talented, and funny. He's the kinda guy my father would want me to date. I told my dad all kinds of great stuff about him and when I was done bragging-hehe-,he asked me what color he was. I said he's black and my dad automaticly decided he didn't like him. I told my dad he can't stop my feelings and emotions for another person and that we're just dating, not getting married. My mom loves my boyfriend and thinks we make a good couple but she did tell me that she felt sorry for me because she knew my dad would give me a hard time, and he has. Now he's always making jokes about black people and really makes me mad.
To me some parents are still old fashion when it comes to dating, but your parents won't stop loving because you're dating someone outside you race. It would be a good idea to talk to them. Just put your input into it and listen to them. Ask your dad why he doesn't like the thought of you dating a black person and anyone of another race. I do know my dad is a stereotype when it comes to black people. He thinks they're all "ghetto",loud,drug users, drug dealers, and stuff like that. Tell your dad to judge him after he meets him. He may like him.
As for my thought on interracial datting is that it's a very hip thing to do. You shouldn't look at a person because of their color but the inside. It's the person you fall for not the skin.
Sweetie if you're still not sure, I say go for what you heart tells you to do. Not your parents.
(Some of you may not agree with me on that one but that's just how I feel. )
------------------ ~*~Buff Chick~*~ *kiss*kiss* to my Karamel Kid!
Watch out! I'm a awful speller. *hehe*
[This message has been edited by CallMeBuffChick (edited 01-13-2001).]
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