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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » I like a cultist

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Author Topic: I like a cultist
Member # 2109

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Okay, I have a boyfriend, and he's like, okay and all, I mean, he breaks our plans sometimes and it pisses me off. So... I ended up falling for this other guy, and he's like amazing, like the total opposite of my current b/f. He listens to my problems, and I can relate to him. Plus he's coming onto me, and that's new for me because most of the time I have to go after the guys. The only problem is that he's in a cult. His parents started this cult back in Louisiana and they came to California to recruit people because everyone left the cult in Louisiana (I am not kidding, this is seriously the truth) and I don't know what to do. I know I have a b/f, but he's never there and the guy in the cult is so nice to me, I'm just scared of what might happen since he's in a cult. what should I do?

*I wish I didn't care, but I do*

Posts: 62 | From: Los Angeles, CA USA | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

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Well, I can kinda relate to this, my boy's parents are in a cult, and he was raised that way. The difference is that he wants to leave the cult. I suggest that you talk to the cult guy about it. Talk to him about what he believes, what their practices are, how they feel about dating someone outside their cult, etc. Don't start a relationship like that until you know what you're getting into. And as far as your b/f not paying attention to you, TALK TO HIM! He may not even realize that what he's doing bothers you. There are two people in every relationship (well unless there are more than two people...but there has to be at least two), and you're both responsible for the health of your relationship. If you're upset about something, then you're going to have to do the responsible thing and talk to him about it, cause the problems can't be fixed if no one knows they exist.


"Intelligence is like underwear. We all should have it but we shouldn't show it off."
~James Dent

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
~Helen Keller

Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

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A cult is defined as "a group that worships God through ceremony or prayer."

Occult is that "bad one."

Many things can be defined as such.

Find out exactly what they did, worshiped, etc. It may not be that bad.

Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1987

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As long as they didn't eat strychnine laced jello and hope to be taken away in a space ship....

just when everything was making sense
you took away all my self-confidence
now all that I've been hearing must be true
I guess I'm not the only boy for you

Posts: 148 | From: Long Island, NY | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 100

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Tough call, honey. Personally, I'd be wary of dating anyone if I knew that that person's parents were looking for recruits -- whether they were looking for recruits to a religious organization, a start-up business, or the military. I don't like having my social life get mixed up in attempts to convert me to any cause. The mixed motivations and conflicts of interest are too complicated and problematic.

I'd also say you're suffering from a good solid case of "the grass is always greener on the other side" syndrome. So your current BF isn't perfect. So what? You can either keep seeing him or not, that's up to you... but I can *guarantee* you that Cultist Boy isn't gonna be perfect either. How can I guarantee that? Because NO human being is perfect. You trade in one set of flaws and foibles for another every time you have a new partner in your life.

So if you think that it'd solve your relationship problems to have a relationship with this new boy, think again. It wouldn't. They'd just be different.

Hanne Blank
Co-Editor, Scarleteen

Start a Revolution -- Stop Hating Your Body!

Posts: 1538 | From: boston, ma, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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Member # 568

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I don't see anything to fear in dating a cult member unless the cult has dangerour practices. if you do not want to get involved in the cult, then make sure you hang on to your own personal beliefs, and hang on tight -- cult recruiters tend to have charisma.

as for your current guy, seems you and he need to have a little talk.

Someday, I will have a sexy car...a!

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1312

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How is crushing on a guy in a different religion any different than a cult? I mean, let's say you are Jewish and he is Buddhist (example) You're not going to agree on everything faith-wise.

I say as long as you feel comfortable with him and his surrounds, go for it!

"No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap."
--Carrie Snow

"A mistake is simply another way of doing things."
--Katharine Graham

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Posts: 620 | From: Columbia, MD, USA | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1071

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That's kinda hard. First off, I think you might make it clear why he's coming on to you. Does he truly like you, or is he looking for someone to recruit?
But if you can get through that, and he truly does like you and has no intentions of changing you against your will, go for it. If your boyfriend doesn't treat you justly, and this guy does, go for him. He may be different, but if you care enough, things will turn out for the better, with a little work.

Yeah, well I'VE got blood dripping out of a hole between my legs, do YOU?!?
there is a difference between being stupid and being ditzy. i ought to know

Posts: 615 | From: New York | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2109

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Some of my friends are actually for me being w/him...
I talked to him about the cult today... he said they're looking for certain types of people and that I'm not their type. I guess that's a good thing. I'm just scared that he might turn on me and do something horrible. It did kind of freak me out when he told me his parents were rich, I kinda wondered where they got all that money...

*I wish I didn't care, but I do*

Posts: 62 | From: Los Angeles, CA USA | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 961

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Cult generally refers to a group that's not yet recognised as a religion, occult means, literally 'mystery'.
Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2050

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This might seem really cynical but look at it this way, if his intention was to recruit you and he knew about your fears, would he be likely to say "Yes, you are exactly the kind of person we want to recruit".

At then end of the day, none of us here know hs intentions. Only he does. If you feel uneasy about him and his family being in a cult, drop him. There will be other great guys around. Yes, he might be a wonderful guy but if you feel uncomfortable around him all the time, it is not going to work out is it? You have to make the final call, hun.

Before you proceed, have a good talk with your bf first. Very few of us have bfs who do not piss us off at all. Just because he is upsets you at times doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. Gd luck.

When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her.
It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed.

Mother Teresa

Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 792

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What you need to do, my dear FIF fan... is chill out. Don't forget about this guy because he's a cultist. The whole moving to Cali thing because everyone left the "religion" kinda sounds like this isn't a bunch of people who are going to have some sort of strangle hold on you. If you're gonna forget about this guy, it should be because you feel bad about ditching your boyfriend, am I right?
Posts: 49 | From: MA | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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