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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » NO ONE LOVES ME!!

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Author Topic: NO ONE LOVES ME!!
BJadeT
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Member # 2057

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I am 15 and I have never been in a proper relationship. In fact, I've never even been kissed, even by some drunk and desperate bloke. It is really really getting me down. I think I'm really ugly but everyone says I'm not, but they're probably tryoing to make me feel better. If I wasn't really ugly I'd at least have had one boyfriend, or one person that fancied me, right? Bu t no one does. All my friends have either got boyfriends or regularly having 'casual sex' and I am so jealous of them. And then I end up lecturing them about how they shouldn't be doing stuff and they get annoyed with me.
I'm so desperate, for love and sex, that I'd take anything that came along. But nothing's coming! (If u get what I mean)
Anyway, that was just my moan. Sorry. You can ignore it if you want.

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Befff


Posts: 394 | From: Manchester, Lancashire, England | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
glitter695
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Sweetheart, dont worry, your 15 and have your whole life ahead of you. Sometimes things come later for other people, if you want sex, just masturbate, that will help.

You shouldnt be jealous of your friends, let them do what they are doing, as long as they are being smart about it.

Your might be ready, but dont rush yourself into anything. I have friends that are soooo beautiful and they dont have boyfriends, looks arent the only thing thats inportant, it personality, humor and all that good stuff about you.

Your time will come, it just takes longer to find the *right* person.

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*~*~*~I LOVE YOU BOB FOREVER AND ALWAYS*~*~*~
*~*~12/3/99*~*~*
"The first time I saw you, I knew that I would fall for you, & now that were together, our love will last forever!!" -By: The person I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD!!

[This message has been edited by glitter695 (edited 12-08-2000).]


Posts: 1978 | From: NY:) | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Hanne
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There's no expiration date on finding a boyfriend or girlfriend, honey. It kinda happens in its own time.

It has nothing to do with what you look like, either. If you look around you, you'll notice that there are plenty of people you don't think are attractive who *do* have partners, and plenty of people you *do* think are attractive who don't. Really. Start looking. It's really true.

However, I should say that feeling desperate is not such a good thing. When we feel desperate, we'll often make bad decisions -- like taking "anything that came along" instead of being good to yourself, and caring about yourself enough to have standards about what you will and won't take.

I have a feeling that you're wanting someone else to love you, or at least desire you sexually (and they are NOT the same thing necessarily) because you don't love yourself very much right now, and are having a hard time thinking of yourself as attractive. But you know, honey, it doesn't really work that way. You might want to think about that a bit.

Finding some things that make you feel really good about yourself, that make you feel like you *are* worthwhile and attractive, are going to help a lot more than finding that "anything that comes along" who will only take advantage of your low self-esteem and leave you feeling worse in the end.

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Hanne Blank
Co-Editor, Scarleteen

Start a Revolution -- Stop Hating Your Body!


Posts: 1538 | From: boston, ma, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ella
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Don't worry about it BJadeT, relationships don't happen at any set age. It'll happen when it happens and it'll be wonderful then. I didn't have a real boyfriend till this year (I'm 18) and I'm glad I didn't settle for anything less than what I got. The desperation you're feeling might make you settle on someone that you aren't happy with and I don't think that that's a good thing. You should wait and enjoy being single till you find the right person for you. They will come, just give them time.

It's the hardest thing in the world when your friends are in love and you aren't because I know that I at least am torn in opposite directions. On the one hand I'm happy for them, but then I'm a teensy bit jealous too because I want to be in love. You have to focus on the happiness for them feelings and find other activities that you love doing. I know it's hard but you will find someone, don't worry


Posts: 303 | From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
pink
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Totally un true. I know how you feel, desperation, lonely, and all that crap. I was like that for a while. Then I realized that it was pathetic for to feel so bad for myself, so I decided to something about it. I joined a swim team, which was a big move, because I have so many qualms over my body. I said hi to new people in the hallway. I worked harder in school. But most of all, I tried to cleanse myself of all the **** the media shoots at us.
And now, I'm feeling pretty good. People noticed I had a new air of confidence to me. And y'know what? Confidence sells! I found people want to be around someone who's not constantly aware and worried about themselves, someone with a sense of humor, and someone who's just plain fun.
So, I'd say you need to work on your self first, screw what other people think. When you're feeling down, try exercising. It's a great mood builder, and if you go to a club or fitness center, you can meet new people. Start talking to people, start a conversation with a new person once a week. It will really help you out. Before you worry about other people, think about yourself. You deserve it.

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Yeah, well I'VE got blood dripping out of a hole between my legs, do YOU?!?
there is a difference between being stupid and being ditzy. i ought to know


Posts: 615 | From: New York | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
pink
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Also, the sooner you give yourself a break the better. A lack of self esteem can easily turn into a whirlwind of depression, which is no fun.

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Yeah, well I'VE got blood dripping out of a hole between my legs, do YOU?!?
there is a difference between being stupid and being ditzy. i ought to know


Posts: 615 | From: New York | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cypher
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Believe me, when it happens for you, you'll feel it was well worth the wait.

I've been exactly in your shoes before. I was the girl everyone came to in order to talk about their boyfriends/girlfriends, relationships, or crushes. Have you ever heard the expression "Always the bridesmaid, never the bride?" Well, that's exactly how I felt. I always assumed that there must've been something wrong with me. And because of that I always looked down on myself and made everything ten times worse. But, you know what? It was all in my head. I changed schools at the end of the year and when I did I decided that I was just going to let go of all of my self-concious negativity and go in there completely open to new experiences. I was the same person, but I was trying a new outlook.

And it worked miracles.

I went in there just not putting pressure on myself either way and suddenly people were noticing me. And not just because I was the new girl. I was no prettier or funnier or more attractive than any of the other girls there, but I had some self confidence. And people notice that. It's an incredibly attractive quality in a person. I was secure, but not stuck up. Don't look down on others in order to make yourself feel better. But do carry yourself well and know that you're good enough. Self-confidence is absolutely radiant and it also makes you feel so much better about yourself. That's when you realize that you don't need to rely on anyone else for your happiness!


Posts: 289 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KevMezz
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HI I'm from the Uk and I've never been kissed either. So I know how it feels too, But don't get so down I used to think I was really ugly and I know how easy it is to think that no-one likes you. But after a while thought "stuff this, I not ugly I'm just not putting myself out there" So I started talking to people as friends guys and girls and YOU WILL get a boyfriend, maybe not tomorrow or next week but eventually you will find the right person.

By the way sex isn't really that important for example if you had sex with just some guy who didn't care for you and later in life you meet the man of your dreams you will wish you had waited.

I'm 18 and still a virgin, it does get me down sometimes but think about it does sex really change you and your life? Not really.

So don't rush things when love comes your way you will pick up on it.


Posts: 118 | From: United Kingdom | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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quote:
Originally posted by KevMezz:
I'm 18 and still a virgin, it does get me down sometimes but think about it does sex really change you and your life? Not really.

Kev, that was wonderfully put, and very true.

For the record, too, there are a heck of a lot of people who have not had sexual partners who are WAY older than 18, and more times than not, it isn't because no one came around, it's because that is the choice they have made for themselves.

Hanne and I both hear from 30+-year-old virgins with some regularity.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
vballgrlie17
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Hunny, you sound so sad
I know what it is like to feel really unwanted and very alone. For about 2 years, I had some really bad experiences. I had a series of pretty bad relationships that lasted maybe a week or two each. A lot of my friends were going out with great guys and I felt so ugly and unloved. I began to think that I didn't really deserve a relationship and that no one would ever want me, that I just wasn't good enough for anyone to love. Eventually a couple of fairly nice guys were interested in me, though only for some play. I didn't take advantage of their offers, but it brought my self esteem up a little and I decided that I would never settle for anyone. It took a while, but I realized that I am a great person and that I do deserve a great relationship. I refused to settle and kept looking for someone worthwhile. Then I realized that there was a wonderful guy right under my nose! He was a friend of mine and I had always thought he was awesome, but since I had such low self esteem I thought he'd never want to go out with me. I was totally surprised when he told me how much he liked me. <3Mike<3 and I have been going out for almost two months now and we have a loving, caring, fun relationship. He takes my breath away. It is everything I could have wanted. So, I guess my point here is that though it may take a long time to find someone that is right for you, and you may feel very alone in the process, you will find someone that loves you! Don't settle for just anyone, there is someone special for you...
Good luck

~J.


Posts: 28 | From: Mass. | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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