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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » have you ever felt....

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Author Topic: have you ever felt....
glitter695
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Have you ever felt like your the last person on the earth and nobody gives a damn about you, but they really do? Well the other day, I went to take a nap and I woke up cuz the doorbell rang and it was my boyfriend, he needed a box, because he was moving...So I told my mom I was going to get a box from the basement and she said...Ok...so I got the box and there was Christmas stuff in it, so I took it out and put it NEATLY somewhere else and gave it to him...then when I got in the house my mom BLOWS up at me and yells and screams that I should have asked her to used *that* box, it was F- this and F- that, and I dont care about her.

Well after that, I went to lay back down, and after about an hour I woke up cuz my dad came home, and then I hear my mom, dad and sister talking about me, how irrresponisble and selfish, and non caring I was. Then my mom told me dad about how I DUMPED everything on the floor and gave my boyfriend a box. Then they talked about other little things I do. And then non caring and selfish girl that I am to them.

Nobody ever sees me like that, they even tell me.

It hurt, I cryed in my bed, and they dont think I hear them but I do, sometimes I think that Im someone they hate so bad, but they dont hate me I know that. They have always taken care of me and gave me what I need and wanted, but when you hear everything thats bad about you it hurts, and expecally when your MOM & DAD are the ones saying it.

Im not going to say I heard them, because they will just get on my case and thing I was evesdropping, but I just wanted to write it out. My boyfriend tells me dont worry about it, and not to listen, but how can you not listen when you know it has to be true when its your family?

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*~*~*~I LOVE YOU BOB FOREVER AND ALWAYS*~*~*~
*~*~12/3/99*~*~*
"The first time I saw you, I knew that I would fall for you, & now that were together, our love will last forever!!" -By: The person I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD!!


Posts: 1978 | From: NY:) | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
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Aww I'm so sorry you had to hear that *hugz*

I think the best thing you can do is sit them all down, and tell him you heard what they said. It might be hard at first, but if they really didn't want you to hear it, then they shouldn't be saying it in your presence. I know they thought you were sleeping, but obviously you weren't ...

Maybe at this little "family meeting" you can all discuss what bothers you the most about each other. I only live w/ my dad, so i only have a few things that i know really really pisses him off ... For example ... leaving towels on the bathroom floor. He climbs the walls when i do that, so i try not to. And he knows that i go absolutely batty if he's going to be late after work and doesn't call to tell me ... so he calls. It just makes life easier for both of us.

But, they don't konw how you feel if you do'nt tell them. And you do'nt know how they feel if they don't tell you (at least to your face) ... There are just little things that can't be tolerated. Taking behind someones back who lives in the same house should be one of them ... This is just my opinion tho hun. The best way to solve a problem is talk about it ... communication baby!! You have a mouth, use it!

~ Smurfy

P.S. Happy anny If 12/3/99 really is December 3 ... hope you and your hunny have a great day together


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keoki_14
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Ugh, I hate when my parents talk behind my back! It's so annoying! Like I'll leave because they upset me and I'm not even halfway up the stairs and they're talking about me already. It's like "I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!!!" It bugs me so much. I mean, if they were going to talk to be could they atleast wait until they know I'm not around!

I told my Dad that it bugged me once, and I think that he thought I was joking. Next time they talk about you though, I've going to yell "I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!" It's not the best idea, but they might get the point.

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"No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap."
--Carrie Snow

"A mistake is simply another way of doing things."
--Katharine Graham

The best website ever: www.evilrobots.com (I am related to the founder!)


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alaska
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*hugs* glitter...I hate it when I hear that sort of thing as well.
I agree with what everyone else has said - communicate with you rents. I know it can be hard, but IMHO, it's the only way to handle this, really.

I still (am 22 and have moved out and everything) make the mistake of excusing virtually everything my rents say or do that hurts me. Last week, for example, during dinner, my dad said that he didn't think my partner would be welcome over Christmas and said it as if it was a joke and everyone laughed about it. Thanks, Dad!
I have come to realize that by doing that, by excusing away whatever they are saying or doing, I eventually hurt myself because I negate my feelings and tell myself I shouldn't be feeling hurt at all because "they are my rents, they love me". Nah - Not healthy.

Recognizing your feelings and voicing them is really the best thing to do. Really. Wait for or create a moment that is calm enough for a deeper conversation and let them know what's been bugging you. They won't know if you don't tell them. You can do it, glitter!

P.S. And a happy anniversary from me as well


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Just a regular lunatic.
Go inside Alaska's head...

[This message has been edited by Alaska (edited 12-03-2000).]


Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ThisGuy
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I tend to be thick skinned. Directly insulting me isn't going to get you far, in most cases.

Except for two times in the last few years...
First, just before New Years, last year. I was out having dinner with my parents, my brother, and my sister and her boyfriend, who live in Perth.

Basically, while we were ordering food, my sister starts whining about how she's allergic to fish, and how even the smell makes her vomit.
She isn't. She just doesn't like fish - she never has.

I tell her that - I'm a blunt kind of guy, but I wasn't rude. She immediately throws back in my face a comment about an episode of depression that left me literally on the brink of suicide. We've talked once since, and that was for just long enough for her to bitch at me over the phone, before I hung up.

It didn't help that my parents sided with her.

The last time was my mother. I was halfway through breakfast when we argued, and she screamed at me "you are the most unpleasant person to live with!", yadda yadda yadda...

I could feel the love in that one.

What really hurts is hearing them talk behind my back, about my engagement. Every little comment stings - a million little edges on one rusty old knife.

And so, I grit my teeth and ignore it. What else can you do?

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Shzick n.
The shocked instant between initially realising you've caught your genitals in a zipper, and feeling it.


Posts: 915 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
glitter695
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Thanx guys for your help, and yes today is the big 1 year! Thats why Im up so early, I have to get in the shower, hes picking me up in an hour, but I like to lolly-gag! hehe! Thanx again~ you guys are great!

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*~*~*~I LOVE YOU BOB FOREVER AND ALWAYS*~*~*~
*~*~12/3/99*~*~*
"The first time I saw you, I knew that I would fall for you, & now that were together, our love will last forever!!" -By: The person I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD!!


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Heather
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Caongrats, Glitter! Celebrate your day!
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StarryRedhead
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First of all, happy anniversary!!! Hope it's a wonderful day for you two!!!

It was not fair at all for your family to talk behind your back. And I think everyone is right, as hard as it is, you have to talk to your parents about it. In the past year I have become a lot more independent and responsible for myself so my parents are not complaining, I think they're pretty happy with me. But, over time I have learned that if something bothers me, talking about it somehow makes the problem so much less of a problem!

In my house my family is full aware that I'm a very opinionated and outspoken person, especially if I'm being treated unfairly. My mom has a tendency to tell us (my sister and I) what we're doing wrong by screaming at us and I always remind her that she's not gonna get her point across with that approach, nor am I going to listen to what she's screaming about. So now she knows the only way to get my undivided attention is to talk to me, calmly and honestly. Talking is a wonderful thing, solves problems, makes you feel better that you got your point across, and is just a pretty wonderful thing for the most part.

Hope your family starts giving you the treatment and respect you deserve, but before they do you have to talk to them!

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}{*Starry Ali*}{
"You flicker. And you're beautiful. You glow inside my head. You hold me hypnotized, I'm mesmerized..."
My Webpage-Alisons Life


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Lady Moonlight
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One small comment...

quote:
Originally posted by glitter695:
but how can you not listen when you know it has to be true when its your family?


Your family is made up of human beings. Human beings make mistakes, misjudge things, and are just flat-out wrong sometimes. I know it hurts more when your family says hurtful stuff, just because they're the people folks who should be most supportive of you. But that DOES NOT make them right. Take an honest look at yourself and all the things you know are wonderful about you. Sometimes even families screw up.


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momma cat
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Hmmm. My dad did that every single day when I was young, but always to my face, often after throwing me on the ground while my sister grinned gleefully. I think I used to want them to love me, but I lost all desire to have anything to do with my family around second grade. Now I'm in college and I love it. No one tells me I'm worthless damn two year old, and I'm very close to some of my friend's families. It took me until 8th grade to realize most children actually do love their parents, and vice versa. Just remember that you do not deserve what happened to you, and there are many, many people out there who care about you and would never do that. All my friends parents love me - I even have a standing invitation to drive down and stay with the... *McConnells (*name changed to protect the innocent) any time I want. You may be going through some hard times, but it won't stay bad forever. Just don't start to believe what they say about you. If you dad says "You always screw up!" just think of all the stuff you've done right. But (But pointing out his errors to his face might not be a good idea. My dad just threatened to beat the living crap out of me unless I shut up, and it was pretty scary) And most people actually can resolve their differences with their family. But if yours doesn't work out, hang out with your friend's family. I was a lot more well-adjusted when I got close to my friends families and now I almost never have just "Jenny McConnell" I have "the McConnell family". I must not be such a horrible person if everyone else likes me, right?
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glitter695
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Dont get me wrong I love my parents with all my heart and they love me. I know they love me, its just I was hurt that my parents were doing that, and I had to get it out. I have friends paretns that love me too. And my boyfriends parents love me even more, but I dont know what I would do if I ever lost my parents, they mean everything to me even thou I can be a pain in the a**. But everyone has there days right?

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*~*~*~I LOVE YOU BOB FOREVER AND ALWAYS*~*~*~
*~*~12/3/99*~*~*
"The first time I saw you, I knew that I would fall for you, & now that were together, our love will last forever!!" -By: The person I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD!!


Posts: 1978 | From: NY:) | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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