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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » He wants to have sex, but I have a boyfriend

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Author Topic: He wants to have sex, but I have a boyfriend
ConlMam
Neophyte
Member # 1532

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I really, really want to have sex with a guy who isn't my boyfriend. I don't want to lose my boyfriend or make him do anything he doesn't want to do, but I want this other guy. Should I sleep with the other guy? Should I talk to my boyfriend about this? Or should I just forget about the guy and wait for my boyfriend? Please Help!!1
Posts: 3 | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
d1TzY8
Activist
Member # 372

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Just think about the consequences. How is it going to make you feel if you sleep with this guy behind your boyfriends back?!

I dont know about you, but i would feel pretty guilty if i slept with another guy behind my boyfriend's back (if i had one).

Talk to your boyfriend and see how he feels for you. If he loves you and you love him, there shouldnt be a reason to sleep with anyone else.

Thats just some suggestions. You need to find out how you really feel for your boyfriend and discuse it with him.

Good Luck and God Bless.

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WoRD!


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StarryRedhead
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Oh wow, interesting situation. Maybe I'm tired but this whole subject sort of lost me.

You have a boyfriend but want to have sex with someone else? It sounds like maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship with someone or it's time to tell your boyfriend that you're interested in someone else. Either way, don't cheat on your boyfriend, cheating gets you nowhere. Why do you want to cheat on your boyfriend in the first place? I have never been in your situation, but I would definitely do some major talking with your boyfriend before doing anything.

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}{*Starry Ali*}{

"You flicker. And you're beautiful. You glow inside my head. You hold me hypnotized, I'm mesmerized..."

~Alisons Life~


Posts: 367 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ConlMam
Neophyte
Member # 1532

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I don't know that I love my boyfriend, but I love sex. For some reason, I'm having difficulty deciding which is more important. Presently, my feelings for my boyfriend are winning, but I'm not sure how to release these sexual urges. It's just really hard.
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Pixie69
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Well they have this new invention, brand spanking new. You'll probably be one of the first people to try it out. It's great for helping with sexual urges and such and such. It's called masturbation! Sooo easy, so effective. You don't have to worry about hurting people's feelings, you don't have to worry about getting STD's or getting pregnant. Interesting concept, eh?

Don't cheat on your boyfriend. It's not fair to him, it's not fair to you, no good can come of it. I'm thinking there is deeper issues. If you are with your boyfriend why can't you just have sex with him? Considering that guy #2 isn't your boyfriend I"m assuming that you odn't care about guy #2 enough for him to be your boyfriend or he doesn't care about you enough to be with you.

Don't do it, no good can come of it.

Brittany

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I'm the good girl that everyone thinks is a bad girl pretending to be a good girl :D


Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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I'm gonna concur with most everyone on this one: if you want to have sex with the other guy, you gotta dump your boyfriend. plain and simple. but if you want the boyfriend, then you can't have sex with this person.

play fair. don't cheat. and don't engage in irresponsible sexual behavior.

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Maurice! Bring in the albinos! muwahahahahaha!!!


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ErinK
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1371

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The best way to release sexual urges can be found at the ends of your wrists.

but wait, erin! I hear people saying. (And then I think maybe I've taken too much cold medicine.) Masturbation is fun, but this guy is really hot! And sex is different with a partner!

Well, sex is sex. Attraction is attraction. One can be in a relationship with someone and really really want to snog the cutie across the street. It happens.

However, the question, as always, is what you do about it. My opinion about it is this: if I have made a commitment to someone, and that commitment includes sexual exclusivity, then I do not act on my attractions to other people. I still have them, I still might fantasize about them, but I don't act on them.

So you have some options if you are attracted to someone else while dating someone else.

1) Be attracted to the other person and want them and not act on it.

2) Be attracted to the other person, want them, and decide to break off the committment with your current boyfriend to pursue this attraction.

3) Be attracted to the other person, want them, and act on it. If you act on it without telling your partner ("cheating") and break the committment you have to them, it will most likely end the relationship.

4) Be attracted to the other person, want them, and decide to re-negotiate the agreement with your partner so that you're no longer sexually exclusive. This is tricky. This is difficult. This requires a lot of communication, and it also requires your partner to be willing to go along with this.


So, it's up to you to decide which of these options works for you. Personally, I've found option three to be pretty lousy for all concerned, especially if you purport to love someone.

Erin


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Short&Sweet813
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Member # 1777

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Just think about this one...how would you feel if you were in your boyfriend's shoes??? You have to make a decision soon, because it's not fair to keep stringing this guy along if you have feelings for someone else and you were actually thinking about cheating on your boyfriend. I love sex too, but, believe me from previous experience, having two guys on the line will not last long. Just go with what your heart tells you. I hope this helps!
Posts: 33 | From: Niagara Falls, New York | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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