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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Online Love

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Author Topic: Online Love
Member # 1113

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Ok, so I have a lot of online friends, and I just consider them friends. But the other day I met this one girl in a chat room and we've chatted for like 5 hours every day. I REALLY like her and I think she likes me but we haven't said anything about that to each other. She's in California and I'm in New York so that kinds sucks too, but I'm just looking for any suggestions on what to do. I just feel she's the one for me..
Posts: 5 | From: Troy, NY, USA | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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Member # 568

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i got some experience in this field. i was "with" a guy for several months online, despite a separate of a thousand miles or so. it was nice, but really, it wasn't all that fulfilling since you never see them, never touch them, and probably never hear their voice (unless you swap numbers, which may or may not be a good idea).

you can try it, but the trouble is, are they really who the say they are? you never know until you meet them, and that can be dangerous.

talk to her, sure, develop a friendship, nothing wrong with that. but i'd advise against getting too attached.

on the other side of the argument, in july, my best friend married a man she met in a chat room. i'm assuming they're happy since i've heard no news on a divorce, but i haven't had a chance to speak to her since the wedding.

if you get the molasses, i'll set up the trampoline.

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1113

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Thanks for the advice. We did swap voicemails but not numbers because we're both only 15 and long distance charges can be costly.
Posts: 5 | From: Troy, NY, USA | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 1371

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I've met all of my current sweeties, and a great deal of my friends (including Hanne, who sent me here to meet all you nice folks) online. I think that I can say with some experience that online relationships do have a chance of succeeding, but that they do break up, just like ones that form offline.

I think that online communication can tend to speed things up -- you talk to someone really intensely for a lot of time each day, and it feels like you've "known them forever" and there's this connection. Well, the connection might be there, but if you let yourselves get overwhelmed in new relationship energy, it's easy to lose sight of who the other person is and what you might really want and just get focused on wanting a relationship.

However, it sounds like in this situation, you're not doing that. Going slow, continuing to talk to each other, and just waiting to see how the relationship develops are great strategies for any relationship, no matter what context it's in.

Good luck!


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Member # 968

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I'm a living example, I guess.
I met my fiance online. She's American. If you'll look under my name, I'm Australian. That bits tricky.

I haven't seen her for 3-4 months cos of visa problems.

Your best bet is to take it slow and easy...and be VERY open and honest with each other. Lets face it - when you're 3000 miles apart, suspicions are all too easy to develop.

On a technical note:
Microsoft Netmeeting and about 50 other systems offer PC to PC telephony. All you need is a headset at either end and a net connection. To use 'em, all you need to know is how to find your IP address. (Run "IPCONFIG" in Windows)
MS Messenger and a few others also offer PC to phone telephony.
They are free - no charges or phone bills.

Voice-talking is probably the best way to know you aren't talking to a 43 year old paedophile.

If you chat using ICQ, for example, you can check the physical location of the net connection she's using. That's a tiny bit tricker, though.

Incidentally, if you plan on spending 4-5 hours at a time connected, then this might be a good idea. It'll keep most kiddies from breaking into your computer.

Revile the faceless, silent masses;
For therein lies destruction of soul.

Posts: 915 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1514

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my uncle met his fiance on line. he is from ohio and she is from florida. she moved up here to be with him and they are the happiest couple ive ever seen(besides my husband and myself). she is a sweet girl. i say go for it , but of course be very careful when you can never really be sure of who or what kind of person you are talking to. good luck!
Posts: 365 | From: dayton,ohio,u.s.a. | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1524

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I met my boyfriend online actualyl.. i know its pretty strange to say so.. but he lives about 2 hours away from me.. but we talk all the time and see eachother every weekend.. we have been together over 2 months and we always seem to forget where we actually met! but it has been a really great relationship and im pretty happy.


Posts: 111 | From: Toronto, ont,canada | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 182

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I met my boyfriend online too. We were "with" each other for several months before we ever met. I actually believe that it was better it happened that way. If we had met each other we probably would not have been friends let alone lovers. We learned online, and through costly phone cards, that we loved each other for who we are and not because of looks, or sex. When we met we were very physical, but it was safe and something we knew we were ready for.

In a lot of cases it can be better, but only if you know that someday you will meet. Otherwise it can feel very empty.

Posts: 523 | From: Ashland, Oregon, US | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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