Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Being newly single....

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Being newly single....
StarryRedhead
Activist
Member # 607

Icon 1 posted      Profile for StarryRedhead     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I broke up with my boyfriend tonight after the big mess with our religious conflicts, you can read about it HERE He will NOT listen to what I believe and I was starting to feel really put down by him, Saturday night I slept at his house like usual but all I wanted to do was go home! So, tonight, I made the decision to get out and I feel sad it didn't work, but glad to be out of that, it is such a relief not to be feeling so awful just because of what I believe.

So now I'm single again :::sigh::: and was wondering, what does everyone do when they're newly available and free from a failed relationship, especially a serious one? I plan on concentrating hard on school, spending time with the friends I haven't spent as much time with, spending time by myself (remembering who I am without him), getting a job as a ski instructor this season(yippee), searching for my new car, and eventually, finding someone who will accept me for ALL I am....ahh, that sounds sooo nice! What's everyone elses "moving on" strategy?? Maybe I could use some of them, I'm not used to being single!!

------------------
}{*Starry Ali*}{

"It's a narrow margin, just room enough for regret, in the inch and a half between, "Hey, how ya been?" and "Can I kiss you yet?"

~Alisons Life~


Posts: 367 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
d1TzY8
Activist
Member # 372

Icon 1 posted      Profile for d1TzY8     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by StarryRedhead:
I plan on concentrating hard on school, spending time with the friends I haven't spent as much time with, spending time by myself (remembering who I am without him), getting a job as a ski instructor this season(yippee), searching for my new car, and eventually, finding someone who will accept me for ALL I am....ahh, that sounds sooo nice!


That sounds awesome! I remember when I first broke up with my old ex...i wanted to break up w/ him so bad, and when i did, all i did was cry. I know for a fact it is SO hard to end something that was once strong. Hopefully, you guys will be able to stay good friends.

...REMEMBER:
Good friends are hard to find, harder to let go of, and impossible to forget!

All that sounds like the right path to take! Sorry about the break up and good luck to the future

------------------
WoRD!


Posts: 316 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
U2girl
Activist
Member # 1524

Icon 1 posted      Profile for U2girl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Break ups are the hardest and more dreaded part of a relationship.. i know its really hard i have been through some bad ones myself. Really the only thing that helped me get through it all was alot of time to myself and with my friends... i listened to alot of music.. and i kinda just healed myself. Friends of mine really helped me forget about all the pain and really evenually u'll just finally be ready to date again.. u seem like u really have things set in your mind of things u want to concentrate on and future goals.. and really that is a key point to getting over this whole break up.

------------------
PEACE


Posts: 111 | From: Toronto, ont,canada | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
entropie
Activist
Member # 26

Icon 1 posted      Profile for entropie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I honestly wish I knew, honey! I just got out of a 2 year relationship, and so far, it's just getting harder for me to deal with it. I guess once I have closure then it will be easier to move on.

Try exercising, spending time with friends and family, taking up a hobby...

I'm doing the closure thing tonight.. then I'll see about seriously moving on

Good luck

entropie

------------------
honeylaser's site


Posts: 1030 | From: Aotearoa | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ron
Activist
Member # 484

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ron     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I went through a separation--fortunately it was something that could be worked out, though it wasn't easy and we got back together. That happened about 8 years ago.

While we were apart I felt really awful all the time. But I started taking a look at myself (didn't like much what I saw) and started making things better, just for me. It was long overdue, in my case. I learned to meditate and I wrote about 5 songs--never done that before or since. I think they were pretty good too.

I'm really sorry that it worked out that way for you StarryRedhead, but you are right to expect respect for your beliefs. I don't know a way around the pain but what I learned is we can turn that pain into very positive inner progress and strength. I'm sure you will.


Posts: 364 | From: San Cristobal de Las Casas, Chiapas, Mexico | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Aja Valderamma
Activist
Member # 519

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Aja Valderamma     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ali

Not having experienced this first hand I can only say. You'll probably experience sadness and lonleness that might make you want to run back to your ex.

He will also probably miss you and before long do something very sweet and thoughtful to get back with you and take another crack at the relationship.

That's the critical point. You need to know if why you broke up was so important to you that you will live with the decision and not waiver. If you cast off your reason for parting with him take him back and go on your compromising your belife system.

Now all the best relationships are built on compromise, but a lot of times the scale don't balance out and one person seems to be giving in more to the other. Over the years this trend develops until you are straddled by always giving in.

There are so many fish in the sea. you seem very smart and I know you are very pretty. Be that ski instructor you so badly want to be and I bet by the first snowfall..you'll fall for someone on the slopes and brand new relationship will start.

Remember the lyrics from the song:
'Closing Time'

" Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end"

Aja


Posts: 204 | From: Capr Coral, Florida. USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
StarryRedhead
Activist
Member # 607

Icon 1 posted      Profile for StarryRedhead     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thanks for all the wonderful advice! I think I'm doing okay, my boyfriend and I are still SUCH good friends, he just feels he can't be with someone who is wiccan. I understand that to a degree. So, we have our friendship at least.

And Entropie, I hope you find closure. I was involved with a guy almost exactly a year ago when he left me for someone else, I STILL don't have closure and it's awful! I still love him too, which is even worse!
I don't know how to get closure now, I never see him, but if I do, me and him are having a LONG talk.....I am telling him everything I wanted to tell him when he left! Anyhow, good luck with your situation!

And Aja, I REALLY hope I meet some hot guy on the slopes! And I do have a feeling the temptation to be with him again will be there, I loved him, he loved me, we had something wonderful but the religion part got in the way. So, it sucks. I have a lot of support from my friends though, they know what happened and they know finding someone else is the best way to go. There ARE plenty of fish in the sea, just have to be patient. Thanks hun! And thank you everyone else, everyone here gives awesome advice!

------------------
}{*Starry Ali*}{

"It's a narrow margin, just room enough for regret, in the inch and a half between, "Hey, how ya been?" and "Can I kiss you yet?"

~Alisons Life~


Posts: 367 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
oh, what to do after a break up...

i rented movies a lot and buried myself in my work. i put up a bunch of websites. then i got really volatile and emotionally unstable.

the last part isn't much fun. but if i had the choice, i'd just bury myself in work -- study more. write more. go to poetry slams.

and be with friends. they help alleviate the loneliness. and watch violent movies, not romantic ones.


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3