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Author Topic: masturbation with partner?
lemming
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okay, last night my bf and I had been talking for a long time about the first relationships we'd had (both of our 1st rel. sorta messed us up sexually - we were both taken advantage of at way too young an age...)

so we sat there for a while afterwards and then started messing around on his bed, as usual - both of us fully clothed, me lying on top, and both of us just basically getting the other as worked up as possible *we're not having sex till we get out of our houses, so everything is pretty much outercourse*...

in the past, I have masturbated in front of him, he has fingered me, and I have masturbated him, but he has never masturbated himself in front of me....this didn't really bother me, he always said he just felt too self-conscious and that it wasn't me, it was hm, and all that...

well, last night after he had gotten me really aroused, and we were both talking very dirty to each other, I started to masturbate, and then he did...he brought himself to orgasm and ejaculated with me there, looking into my eyes! we both felt that was a major breakthrough..

but one of the big things I like about this relationship is that we can be so open about masturbation, and neither of us feels any shame...that has NEVER happened to me in a relationship before - I have always been open about it myself, but that seems to scare guys off...also, I had never seen a guy masturbate before. *what a turnon, especially to know that you brought them to that!*

so, I guess what I'm asking is how or if the situation of masturbation is handled in your current relationship, or how it's been handled *no pun intended, I swear* in past relationships...

thanks...

~lemming

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"this was a Pizza Hut, now it's all covered with daisies.../And as things fell apart nobody paid much attention..." ~Talking Heads, "Nothing but Flowers"


Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Spiral
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I agree with you, it's such a turn on. It's a great way of showing how comfortable you are with your partner. It's fun. My bf and i have done it a couple of times also phone sex, which is fun too. I laugh sometimes cuz it's funny sometimes. I like having fun, and i like having fun with my bf, and masterbating in front of each other is very exciting. So you go girl!
Posts: 88 | From: Los angeles,Ca,USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dzuunmod
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I'm all for this stuff, too. It's been a few months since my girlfriend and i first masturbated in front of each other. We both (I think I'm safe in speaking for her on this...) feel no shame about it, either. I can tell her now, without giving it a second thought (so long as it fits in somehow to our conversation, of course) if I, say, masturbated earlier in the day. I really enjoyed masturbating in front of each other the times that we did it -- it made me feel pretty desirable -- but also, it's something that I feel she has to ask me to do, before I actually do it. I mean, I'd feel pretty strange, just going at it, lying in bed with her or something. She hasn't asked me in a while though, unfortunately.
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Lady Moonlight
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quote:
Originally posted by Dzuunmod:
I really enjoyed masturbating in front of each other the times that we did it -- it made me feel pretty desirable -- but also, it's something that I feel she has to ask me to do, before I actually do it. I mean, I'd feel pretty strange, just going at it, lying in bed with her or something. She hasn't asked me in a while though, unfortunately.

Maybe she doesn't realize that she's supposed to ask. (I've fallen into that trap, myself, on a couple of occasions.) You could just say, in a snuggly moment, "You know, it really turned me on when we..." and sort of lead her in to asking you again, if she wants to.


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HotGrrl99
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Masturbating in front of other people can be awesome! I've done it with guys many times, and my bisexual girlfriends and I also have been doing it in front of each other for years! It's a great way to get off without actually having to have sex.
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lemming
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cool! thanks, you guys...I guess I was just feeling sorta shaky - I mean, he really opned up to me afterward, saying that I was the first person he'd ever done that in front of and that he thought we'd "made a major breakthrough..." of course I grinned at that, it does sorta sound goofy...but hey, I think it brought us closer together...

liked hearing your experiences with this, too - keep 'em coming! *no pun intended there, either!*

~lemming

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"this was a Pizza Hut, now it's all covered with daisies.../And as things fell apart nobody paid much attention..." ~Talking Heads, "Nothing but Flowers"


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Sweet*howl
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I'm not one to masturbate much so i really haven't done much in front of my dearest but I asked him a while ago what do guys do? and he tried his hardest but i kept talking and eventually i killed his erection so... but soon after he told me that I just turned him on so much, maybe i wouldn't mind if he got him self off? I was like sure go for it hon. and it is such a turn on! We do it alot now, alot of the time tho he wants me to do it for him because "your hands are just so wonderful and you do it so well and...uh i don't feel as silly, I probably look so retarded just sitting aroung playing with myself." That and he likes watching me do it (like I don't know). I'm still trying to get it dowm pact with him that when he touches me there's more to me than my clitoris and my vagina, theres a whole vulva that wants to be touched and loved on.

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-Sweet*howl

Knowledge is power, use it wisely


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Pucchi Moni
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Masturbation with a partner is so much fun And yes, it's a definite turn on. Once, when I was fooling around with my partner, I got her aroused to the point where she wanted to masturbate. It was incredibly fun trying to keep her from doing so and frustrating her that way. I'm personally very open about masturbation, and in fact, I think it helps us explore the sexual side of us. I haven't met a whole lot of people who've masturbated with their partners (most I know like to get down to business), and it's nice to see that I'm not the only one who enjoys it.
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Dzuunmod
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I've sort of tried that, in the past, Lady Moonlight, but it hasn't really worked. I just don't want to have to ask her outright for this, you know, it's sort of embarrassing, and I won't know if she enjoys it, or if she's just pretending to to please me.
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Lady Moonlight
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quote:
Originally posted by Dzuunmod:
I've sort of tried that, in the past, Lady Moonlight, but it hasn't really worked. I just don't want to have to ask her outright for this, you know, it's sort of embarrassing, and I won't know if she enjoys it, or if she's just pretending to to please me.

Communication can be embarassing, I'll grant you that. It's important, though, and a good habit to get into. When we're kids, we just naturally learn to say stuff like, "Mom, I really like macaroni and cheese for dinner. Can we have that again soon?" Somehow, though, many of us get all embarassed asking for what we want when it comes to sex. It's no different, really, except that we make a big deal out of sex and we don't when it comes to food. Getting over those inhibitions takes a lot of practice. Believe me, I know!

Also, if you're worried about pressuring her, don't be. Asking isn't the same thing as pressuring. You sound like a really nice guy, and she should be capable of making her own decisions as to what she does and does not want to do (if not, send her to this site!).

Back to that food analogy: When my lover and I go out to dinner, we aren't always in the mood for the same thing. Sometimes I eat Indian food because he likes it a lot. It may not be my first choice, but I enjoy his company and I don't hate Indian food so it's okay. Sometimes we go eat Italian because I'm in the mood for it, even though he might prefer something else. Same thing in bed. It's a give and take, and I for one believe it's fine to do something just because your partner wants it, provided he or she is willing to return the favor at some point, and neither of you is asking for something the other one absolutely hates.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

[This message has been edited by Lady Moonlight (edited August 04, 2000).]


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Spiral
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WOO-HOO! we all know whats up.
he he he


love you all!


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Astarte
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Hehehe... masturbating with a partner can be muchly fun. It's a HUGE turn-on for my boyfriend, and I didn't think it would be a turn-on for me, but we tried it and it worked GREAT! It also helps the other person to know what turns you one, because you're giving them a little demonstration.

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--Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.--


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Gumdrop Girl
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i tried this for the first time not too long ago. it was a great turn on. i saw how he liked to be stroked. and then i talked dirty to him to really get him off. i really enjoyed it as an alternative to regular sex.

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i think you're special ... and i don't mean that in a short bus kind of way


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