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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Real "Love" (Page 2)

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Author Topic: Real "Love"
Member # 4464

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I know it was probably said 100 times so far, but love is your own feeling.. kinda like.. you know what makes you sad, or what makes you scared, you know what makes you love. You don't have to be with someone for a certain amount of time, you don't have to be intimate with them..

No one can tell you "oh, that's not love".. I hate the term "puppy love", does that mean that kids shouldn't be able to have "real adult love"?, some adults can't even say that they have felt the feelings of love. Everyone is different. If you feel it, and you know it's a genuinely real feeling, go with your gut, always trust and believe in yourself.


Posts: 22 | From: H*ton, NY | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 4503

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I don't know what I would classify as love.
When I was 16, I dated a guy (who was 18 at the time) who I felt, deep down, was the one. I absolutely adored him. He ended up dumping me for a 30 year old and I was absolutely crushed.
For a long time, I blamed my broken heart towards love on him but now I can see that he wasn't totally at fault. He did the cheating but I was the one who instantly associated my feelings with love and that love with meaning he was 'the one'.
Since then, I never dated. And I think it was the right thing to do. I've finally found my self-esteem and am starting to become who I want to be.
I'm 20 and have been dating my boyfriend for a little over 3 months. I do truely think I am in love this time, but only time shall tell.

"Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run!"

C'mon, visit my website. You know you want to.

Posts: 38 | From: Somerset, KY, USA | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
short stuff
Member # 3415

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Wowsers. I guess what I have to say is that I was in love with my boyfriend, but now I have second thoughts all the time. Well, I know that I love him because I just do, but the second thoughts are; "Maybe I should just move on because I know he doesn't feel "real love" for me as I thought he did" It's a paranoid thing that I think about a lot and I still haven't figured out what's up.
But I do believe that anyone can expereince love at any age. It makes me upset when you see adults say teenagers are not mature enough to know love and to feel it, but I think that's a bunch of B.S. I think you dont have to be old and "wise" to know what you feel for a person. It is a personal thing and it varies from person to person.

BTW.. Love is a great thing... one of my top picks on my IT list =) take care everyone!

(heart) always, sarah boo

*I need to know if you were real, I'd hate to think that I've been fooled again*
*I think I'm jealous of your girlfriend...*
*I cry because I know he doesn't feel the way I do. I cry because I think of how pathetic I am. And I cry because I think I'll be crying forever.*

Posts: 90 | From: seattle, washington, usa | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5578

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It really makes me mad whenever people (youths and adults) throw around "Love" so carelessly. Like texmex said, it isn't a feeling, it could be an emotion, but it's deeper than that. Love is more like.... really hard to explain, that's for sure .

Really, there is no way to describe Love because it means different things to different people.

Don't mess with Texas.

Posts: 1619 | From: TEXAS | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 685

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I have been with my boyfriend for over two years. One thing I find myself doing, and this drives me absolutely nuts, is wondering if I really love him. I wonder if I am really in love with him or if I am pretending. It drives me bonkers. He knows I have doubts, we talk about it. Sometimes he has them too, which makes me feel much better. But it's like if I don't feel a certain way or if I have a bad thought, I start worrying about it. Really, I am the type of girl that worries about everything. I'm really sensitive. I'm just weird... but anywho... yeah. I have doubts sometimes.. and I hate it.

I know the pieces fit because I watched them fall away
Mildewed and smoldering; fundamental differing.

Posts: 124 | From: Lucasville, OH, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 6304

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My friend and I were just talking about this. Shes 18 and just spent 6 years crushing over this guy. she was in love. Now i really like this guy but hes 18. I've never liked anyone as much as i like him and i've said to my friends that im in love with him and i love him, but im unsure if i really do. They say that you can't be in love if the other person doesnt love you, is that true? so i dont know what to do know, any advise.

i love matt

Posts: 278 | From: Oregon | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 6304

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guess not.
Posts: 278 | From: Oregon | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Celtic Daisy
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 2971

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I do'nt know if that's true or not. I have to say, for me, i think that i could never be in love with someone if they didn't love me, or at least like me back. I don't think i could do it, because i'd be thinking realistically. I'm not saying it's not possible, i'm just saying i don't think it is for me. Then again, the oppurtunity has never really arisen where i've been so capitivated by someone.

P.S. Sorry for not replying earlier.

'You've got the eyes of ten women. Not in a jar! I wasn't accusing you. I just mean your eyes are really nice'-coupling

Erin Jane
~Scarleteen Advocate~

Posts: 1747 | From: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 312

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~jess~, i think it's possible to love someone and not be loved back. i mean, i think that happens more than 2 people love eachother...

i know i've only loved one person back in the past, and it was my first boyfriend. i had a second (sort of) boyfriend, but i know i didn't love him for real (and maybe that's why i don't like to reffer to him as a boyfriend). but i also know that i'm in love now. and it's for someone who is just my friend, but i know i love him, despite of his feelings not meeting mine.

i'd like to think i'm not in love and that this is just a phase i'm going through, but it's lasting forever, and it hurts a lot when you know you love someone, and how hard it is to actually love someone, and then you're not love back *sigh*

so i guess the answer to your question, is that it can't be true. but, if you like the guy that much, even if you're not sure you love him, you go for it. just don't tell him you love him before you're sure of your feelings.

me shell him

ICQ# 123898306

Posts: 390 | From: * my own little shell * | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7897

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I think you can love someone who doesn't love you. . . But it's harder to sustain when that's the case.
I also think there are different degrees of love. I tell my close friends I love them, and I mean it, but that doesn't necessarily mean romantic love. I've also been in love with more than a few guys who I was romantically interested in, even though I'm only seventeen.
The thing with love is that it IS different for every person. And any different person can feel different kinds of love or even different degrees. I have never loved any two people the same way. That's just not how it works. And I do not attribute this to the fact that it isn't love, rather that's just the nature of love. People change, so naturally love changes with it. Even when you do love someone consistantly, that love can change in nature.
I do not throw around the word love casually, even though I use it a lot with my friends. But the truth is, I mean it for every one I tell it to.
However, when it comes to romance and love, I tend to be a lot more wary of using the word love at all. I get to that insecure stage of. . . Do I really love them or not? And I know I do, but I don't know whether I love them as more than a good friend.
I think especially in romantic relationships that love is a scary and powerful word, simply because of it's many meanings and different natures. If I were to hear someone tell me they love me, or that I love them, I'd probably want to talk about how they mean. After all, it's better to be on the same page than put your own definition on someone elses feelings of love.

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Member # 7052

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love... the mere word kinda jsut makes me freeze for a second when i hear it... but yah i'm 16 and trying to figure out just exactly what love is to me kinda complicated my relationship with my bf for a like a day...

but then he made me realize that getting older doesnt mean i'll understand what love is... or know it when i feel it... or be able to give it a definition...

so... i think i've felt it and known it... (yet i still refuse to say "i love you" to him =( ... i feel kinda bad about it since he seys it all the time... but he understands... ro at least tries to... hes so great to me =D ...)

love to me... if knowing someone that makes you so happy you dont know how to put into words how great they make you feel or how you can thank them... and the only way that comes to mind is the word love... its saying thank you for being there, caring, and whatever else you have to thank them for...

and it doesnt have to be mutual... mayb someone made a huge impact on me... but for some reason i didnt make that big of an impact on them... that doesnt lessen my love for them at all... or at least it shouldnt...

i'm still trying to figure out what exactly love is... and if i'll ever be able to put a name to it when i feel it... i just hope i'll know to go along with it when its there =) ::crosses fingers:: is so confusing... =\

Posts: 239 | From: new york, USA | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Simple and Clean
Member # 11658

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love...I do agree with someone here that said that some teens or even adults say love and hate like nothin. To me those are two very strong words. In my past relationships...i think i was in love but i said it like nothin..and i didnt really feel that "love" for them. Now when I with my current bf, i had feelings i never felt b4. I know that sounds kinda corny but its truth. In the beginning, I was interested in him, but we lost touch for several years, so I felt bad that i never go tthe chance to say such things to him. when i did see him again, i didn't want to lost him. I did go out with him, and we did have good times. At first I found it difficult to say such words as "love" because to me, If i said such words, it was like a curse, because i ended up saying those things first and after that the relationship would fall. THis time, he said it first. Afterwards, i wasn't afriad of saying it to him, but it was still hard, it isnt because im being forced or wasn;t sure, its just hard for me to say stuff like that. I really do feel love for him, him as a person. He has MD, but i dont care for that, i love him for who is. there was opposition from my parents but i stood by him, and wil continue to.for me i know this is different, and i never thought i would experience such feelings. im so happy i found him.
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Member # 11254

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its a little ironic me writing this just before valentine's day.. but i think alot of young people are confuzed about what love is because of how commercialized it is.
i've been going out with my boyfriend for 3 years now, i'm 16, and i love him so much. he's everything to me and i want and intend to spend the rest of my life with him. i guess its quite young for me to have found the guy i want to be with (i mean, who finds their soul mate at 13 where's the fun in that? ) but i wouldn't have it any other way.
i guess if you "don't know if it's love or just a crush", then chances are it's just a crush. if you're in love you know it. like if you'r arm's on fire or somthing... you can feel it and it's definately on fire right? (that's not such a bad example - its just a crazy one!!! ) he he.
well i've rambled long enough.
buh bye

Posts: 52 | From: england | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 15317

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Well ive only been seeing my bf for 2months he's 15 im 16....and i have very strong feelings for him, and him for me..he has told me he loves me and i hav told him the friends think this is strange they say things like "how can u be in love after 2months" or "your too young to know what love is" " or how can u be in love with someone younger than you"...but my opinion is that i don't believe what my friends all i know is that i have never felt these feelings so strongly for someone before and i like to class them as love and it really doesnt matter what my friends or any1 else thinks..all that matters to me is what me and my bf feel for each other and to any1 else it might not be love but to me and him it is! It yes i might not know what lvoe is..but lets face it know one knows exactly what love is..i believe what i feel is love and that's all that matters
Posts: 43 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 15860

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"Why can't something just be for the sake of being? Why do you care so much about the whys and hows? It's there! Can't you just accept the fact that I love you and quit sassing me?" *tehe*
He's too cute.

If any guy said that to me, I'd fall madly in love with him. =D And I have the same thing you do, always questioning the why's and how's etc.

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Member # 11352

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What a great topic and so interesting what everybody has to say about love and being in love.

Anyone can fall in love at any age. I agree that adults have no right to tell teenagers that that's not love or whatever.

I fell in love many times over the course of my life. You can feel love and say i love you. But.. love doesn't go any deeper unless one has found some one that you truly have emotional connection, not just a physical one and will be there for the rest of our lives.

Soulmate can be found not in just significant others, but they could be your best friend or your sibling.

I fell truly hard and deep in love when i was still 17.. I was actually a month away from turning 18. I had known Isaiah for almost a year and we had started dating in May of 2001. A week before we had gone public with our relationship, we both had fallen really in love with each other. I just knew then he was the ONE. Now, we are fast approaching our three year anniversary this May (2004) on the 27th. People caught on early on that we are so serious and so committed that even six months into the relationship, people commented us as if we were a married couple. Even to this day, we are asked when we are getting married. I love Isaiah.. He's not only my boyfriend, but he's my best friend and my soulmate. I also want to mention that this relationship is both our first longest relationship ever! We have also had sex and it's helped our relationship grow stronger and deeper because we love eachother so much emotionally and very much romantically. We'll be getting married within about three years from now (gotta finish uni first!)

Love is so incredible. You can't even describe all the love that you experience for that special person!


Posts: 369 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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i think many people mistake being in love with really being infatuated with love. i think infatuation turns into love, but you cant really skip being infatuated with someone. its a good feeling to be infatuated. just as it is to be in love. but sometimes people are just in love with being in love. they want it so badly, they tell themselves they are

~Dont waste your time on anyone who doesnt waste their time on you~

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Member # 15464

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I'm reading this really great book by bell hooks called All About Love. I'm really learning and growing alot from it. She describes love as "the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth". I think that is a pretty good description of love. Also, things that make up love are care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, and trust, as well as honest and open communication.
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To the above poster, I read that book, "All about Love" last year for my anthropology class. I loved that.. It's indeed a good book


Posts: 369 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 16697

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Originally posted by higheels:
I think most teens do not belive that we can't fall in love

true! adults always doubt our judgement but i believe that teens can love each otherand be in lone. im not sayin that every relationship is one based on love but some areand its up to us to decide which is which (based on YOUR feelings.

Me and my boyfriend have been togethr for 4 months and i can honestly say that i love him. we have a connection that is different than any i've ever had with a guy before and i know that he really cares for me. we both waited until we were absoluety sure to say that we love each other b/c that is something thati believe u should say wholr-heartedly or not at all. we have known each other ince 6th grade and have been friends since freshman yr (we are both juniors now). before we went out he was (and still is!) my best guy friend and i was (and still am!) his best girl friend. our relationship is based on a frienship and has a strong foundation. i know that we love each other, no mattr what others may saying know that this is true because i can feel it and see it in how he looks at me and everything.

basically im just trying to prove that teens are NOT too young to fall in love. love truely has no age limit - dont ever forget that! XOXO all - im outiez -

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