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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SHOP TALK » Article Questions & Chat » Pink Slip: Vaginismus

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Author Topic: Pink Slip: Vaginismus
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FBI Files: Vaginismus – Painful Penetration
Many women who have difficulty with first intercourse or vaginal penetration are often quick to suspect their hymen isn't “broken.” However, in some instances in which the woman is aroused, lubricated well, and has a patient and sensitive partner, but she still suffers great pain or discomfort with attempted penetration, that isn't the case at all.

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I have suffered from vaginismus for 10 years, and have undergone all the therapy you describe.

I am fed up with seeing that '96%' or whatever, of women were helped by such therapy. I was not!! I will soon have a Fenton's procedure to cut my vag so that I can (hopefully) have sex.

I advise women to ignore any 'therapy', (which will only make them feel like a failure anyway) and go straight for surgery. Don't waste your life and your marriage like I did.

Posts: 1 | From: UK | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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Then, unfortunately, you are one of the 4% who were not helped by other therapies.

While I'm sorry for that, and understand your anger and upset, it isn't sound to advise the great majority of women who WILL be aided by noninvasive procudures to go right to very serious surgery.

Doing that would be both medically and ethically unsound (a bit like saying, "Hey, for that infection on your finger, let's not bother trying the antibiotics first. I say we just amputate.").

In addition, it's possible that why you're having the Fenton's suggested is because vaginismus isn't your primary problem? Fenton's is used ro remove scar tissue from the vvulva -- vaginismus is a response of sudden muscle tightening of the vaginal canal, so Fenton's actually would not be used -- nor have I ever heard it suggested for such -- to treat vaginismus in and of itself.

I'd suggest you double-check with your doctor.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 03-18-2003).]

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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my girlfriend has vaginismus. [we're dykes] we're both disabled [mental illness] and both were sexually abused when we were younger. this article was really helpful, since i don't know much about the whole thing.

we're trying though, to get through it- i think it's just going to take a lot of patience and practice and love and respect :)

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I am 19 years old and suffered with vaginismus for three years, there was no obvious cause for it, it just started to happen (although I think it may have happened when I was younger and fell out with my friends because the reason apparently doesnt have to be sexual.) I am lucky as for all this time I have had a very understanding boyfriend, however it did put a huge strain on our relationship. Im not posting this message to gloat, but just to offer a bit of hope.
I had it really severely where intercourse was impossible. Eventually after three years I took matters into my own hands and researched and started to try to help myself because therapy wasnt a route I particarularly wanted to go down. I had one appointment with the Doctor who just told me to relax and take longer over foreplay which was absoloutely useless and made me feel it was hopeless. Then, about 8 months later I went for an appointment at the family planning clinic and the doctor there gave me some really helpful advice. Firstly you don't necessarilly have to worry about dilators as you have perfectly good fingers of your own. So I began (normally when I was in the bath as I was more relaxed then) to attempt to stretch my own muscles (If it feels sore, tense the muscle as hard as you can and then release and you should feel it relax.)Honestly I was really bad to begin with I could only do it with half of one finger and that hurt! However I kept this up everyday religiously slowly progressing to bigger and bigger things (you can use your own imagination for that bit!) Take it as slowly as you feel comfortable with, it took me a few months but I reckon its completley normal for it to take longer. I finally got something which I felt was of a comparable size to my boyfriends penis and began to use that until I eventually felt comfortable enough to attempt intercourse and I have now completed intercourse with no pain.
I think the most important things to do are pin point when it happened in your life and try and work out if there was some sort of change (doesnt have to be sexual in any way,)although don't worry if you can't think of anything specific. Then get to work, but stick at it as often as you can for quicker results, and I found it changed my whole attitude to sex.
I did honestly think that I would never get better, I was supposed to be in my sexual prime and I was unable to perform, but I managed it with no therapy just with persistence. When i was at my worst i went on one of these websites and it made me feel like there was no hope at all, so I am writing this to show it is not all doom and gloom. I really hope this helps a little bit. Good luck.

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Hi there,
I thought i'd share with you a new website on Vaginismus that has been written by women who've been through it and who wanted to give good clear information and free advice (at last!) to all those suffering with it, to self-treat it and also to show a different positive way to look at Vaginismus too so that it can become less terrible, especially inside a couple..

Anyway, check it out, I hope it helps some.
Bye now

Posts: 1 | From: australia | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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can you really cure vaginismus without buying the dilators? im only 17, so would be quite tricky to discretly get hold of them. also, advice for either using the dilators or fingers, do you just attempt penetration as often as you can until it becomes possible? on the more technical side, how does it become possible by just doing that repeatedly?
thanks for any advice.

Posts: 25 | From: England | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I wouldn't say dilators are necessary, but in my personal opinion they're a lot more comfortable, and most sets come with the final dilator that is the size and shape of the average erect penis, which is hard to mimic with fingers alone, and helps to assure a woman in the final steps that intercourse is possible.

Have you seen a GYN about this? Usually they can prescribe you vaginal dilators and give you instructions for their use. You will NOT want to attempt any sort of penetration if it's painful and you suspect you have vaginismus; any pain in the vagina will just strengthen the reaction, making the condition more difficult to treat.

The good news is that with proper therapy, vaginimus is nearly 100% curable within a matter of months, so do ask your GYN about this.

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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