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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SHOP TALK » Article Questions & Chat » Pink Slip: Is Masturbation Okay? (Page 4)

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Author Topic: Pink Slip: Is Masturbation Okay?
kitka
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Mutual masturbation is a great way to get closer to someone you care about, physically and emotionally. The same goes for intercourse. Mutal masturbation is helpful if you don't feel like you're ready for intercourse.

Having feelings of same-sex attraction is not wrong. It's up to you to decide whether to act on those feelings. Having those feelings doesn't make you bisexual either; it's normal for people to have same-sex attraction to a close friend.

Have your parents or other people have suggested that premarital sex is wrong, or not as good as married sex? That might explain some of the guilt you feel.

Premarital sex is not wrong - sex is a natural part of life.

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kitka
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I started when I was 17 or 18... Adam Carrolla and Dr. Drew on Loveline were talking to some chick about it, and I thought, "Hmmmm..."
I felt weird about it at first, but when I realized that it's normal and a good thing, I stopped feeling guilty.

Understanding my own sexual reactions definitely helped me have a good first-time experience with sex, and all the times thereafter.

Betty Dodson's "Sex for One" is a good book on the subject... she also answers email inquries sent to her website.

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Kit Kat
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I started masturbating when I was like 12 (I'm 15 now) I never new why I was doing it but it felt so good that I couldn't stop.

ya know that feeling when you get it just right and it send shivers up and down. thats the feeling and I couldn't stop

when I do masterbate...and I get to that high point (feel good point) I get this feeling like I really shouldn't be doing this. it TOTALLY against my religion and everything but after reading this.....I agree with everything

it you...you know you better than anyone and that really made an impact

I just joined and already...I like it here..so many of my questions can be answered and I won't have to feel weird asking them

Katherine

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I Put Spot Remover On My Dog And Now He Is Gone

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redman
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i started when i was probally 13 im the same as kat almost the exact same. expically when it came to felling gulity but this site really helped.
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Djuna
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Well, Benjy Simons, halfway down Page 1: What a load of rubbish. No offence to your religious beliefs, but I'm Christian and the scriptures you mention overlap, and the story of Onan to which I think you're referring is about coitus interruptus (withdrawing your penis from the vagina and ejaculating outside the vagina). Onan was killed for 'spilling his seed on the ground', and from this few lines of text, the Church has outlawed contraception and masturbation. If you read Exodus carefully, homosexuality is wrong as well - and although I'm not homosexual myself, this is the ONE piece of direct teaching (allegedly) from God that I've ignored. At any rate, don't worry about masturbation - God gave us fingers for a reason and it wasn't to pick up stuff if you know what i mean [Wink] .
As for your 'scientific evidence', this is untrue - meiosis continues at a constant rate to produce sperm and it does not matter how much you use up - in 24 hours normal sperm capacity will have been reached again.
So knowing all that, please feel free to bugger yourself senseless at will. [Smile]

[ 07-03-2006, 06:23 PM: Message edited by: smileyjoseph ]

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

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wobblyheadedjane
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smileyjoseph, feel free to comment on the article itself, but the post you're replying to is nearly 3 years old. It's highly unlikely the poster is still reading this thread.

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Johann7
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(I'm a guy, by the by) Let's see, I started consciously masturbating at 12, that is, I undertook the practice with the intent of having an orgasm starting at age 12, although I'd been dry-humping a pillow for a while before that. In a way, my sex-ed class in 6th grade was what clued me in [Razz] They didn't really say much about masturbation except that it was normal, but it made me realize what exactly I'd been doing humping my pillow up to that point, and BOY did it turn out to be good when I started doing it with intent.

So, yeah, masturbation is normal and safe and OK and all that stuff everyone said before me [Smile]
EDIT: See below for corrections to the following.
(Note for girls: any form of vaginal penetration with fingers, toys, etc. carries a small - I WANT TO EMPHASIZE SMALL, I don't want to scare anyone - risk of contracting a urinary tract infection. It's not serious, but it can be uncomfortable. The good news is that you can avoid the risk by making sure you wash anything you may use to penetrate yourself, and in the case of sex toys, a condom isn't a bad idea.

Note for everyone: Washing you hands a couple times per day is just generally a good idea, and that goes double for before and after masturbation. Be clean and stay healthy!)

Ok, before I touch on religion, I want to make it perfectly clear that I'm not attacking anyone's beliefs, but I do think people should make sure they really understand any faith they choose to follow and that they should CHOOSE.

The story of Onan is most commonly used as justification for any organized sect of Christianity to say masturbation is a sin. In the King James translation of the Holy Bible (itself not a particularly accurate translation of the original texts in Hebrew, Ancient Greek, Aramaic, etc.), Onan is punished because he "spilt his seed upon the ground" and did not conceive a child with his deceased brother's widow. I want to point out first that not only is it no longer common practice in Western culture to marry one's brother's widow, it would probably be frowned upon by the very same people who are using this story to condemn masturbation. Additionally, Onan was not masturbating but was engaged in vaginal intercourse when he pulled out and ejaculated on the ground. Now as we all know, pulling out is NOT an effective means of birth control, so one would be hard pressed to use this story to effectively justify a divine mandate against contraception.

Second: God did not write the bible. A collection of scholars, theologians, and scribes wrote the texts that make up the Bible, both New Testament and Old, and these were not solidified into a single definitive edition by and branch of Christianity until well after the events described (it may also be worth noting that there were a variety of texts from the original Hebrew Bible that were omitted in the Christian Old Testament, like the story of Lilith, texts that were omitted from both, like the Dead Sea Scrolls, and texts omitted from the New Testament, like the Gospels of Judas and Mary Magdalene). My purpose here is not to challenge the validity of the Bible in any form, but simply to point out that even as the events were originally recorded they were subject to the individual interpretations of the authors, and then the translators, and human interpretation is not infallible or absolute (just watch Court TV sometime: eyewitness accounts of the same event can vary greatly).

Third, Christianity has a long and glorious history of oppressing women and treating them as the property of men, which made it necessary to find justification for the opposition to masturbation and birth control. If women are to be relegated to the sole sexual roles of pleasing men and bearing children, prohibitions against masturbation and sodomy are necessary.

So, considering that the Bible is subject to interpretation and that the cultural climate of that interpretation was not conducive to sexual or reproductive rights, there really is no evidence that God has any problem with masturbation or that He (or She or It or whatever you choose to believe) considers it a sin. Furthermore, it seems unlikely that God would impart humans with a physiological drive to masturbate that is so strong that roughly 98% of people masturbate at some point in their lives if He (She or It) expected people to avoid the practice. There is really no reason to worry about your immortal soul if you masturbate.

That said, if you live in an especially strict community of any faith that considers masturbation a sin (with or without just cause), you may not want to go around advertising the fact that you masturbate, but it's nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about.

[ 07-07-2006, 05:07 PM: Message edited by: Johann7 ]

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Robble Robble Robble!

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Heather
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quote:
Note for girls: any form of vaginal penetration with fingers, toys, etc. carries a small - I WANT TO EMPHASIZE SMALL, I don't want to scare anyone - risk of contracting a urinary tract infection. It's not serious, but it can be uncomfortable. The good news is that you can avoid the risk by making sure you wash anything you may use to penetrate yourself, and in the case of sex toys, a condom isn't a bad idea.
Actually, that's incorrect.

It's not about vaginal penetration, specifically. Think about it: the vaginal canal isn't connected to the urethra, the site where UITs begin and spread. That's closer to the clitoris, and is external.

ANY direct *vulval* -- not vaginal -- contact with pretty much ANYTHING, can result in bacteria winding up in EITHER the urethra, or the vagina, resulting in EITHER bacterial infections or urinary tract infections. So, those risks exist with only clitoral stimulus, with frottage, with just plain touching the vulva, even when wiping after using the toilet.

On the other hand, per vaginal entry/penetration, bacterial vaginosis is more likely to result from that than from general vulval contact.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Johann7
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[Embarrassed] Er, yes, quite (which is, I suppose, why you're running things). Still, bacteria=bad, washing=good, Miz Scarlet=fighting a never-ending battle against misinformation and somehow making progress

(I'll be sure to carefully re-check my posts to cut down your work)

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Robble Robble Robble!

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Heather
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Heh. Thanks, much appreciated. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Djuna
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Thanks wobblyheadedjane (GREAT name [Wink] ). I'll bear that in mind in the future. I suppose really I was just compelled by reading the three-year-old post to let everyone know that Christian and Jewish (well the Torah, I haven't read any other Jewish manuscripts) scriptures make NO MENTION of masturbation.
Also churches interpret these scriptures as they see fit. For example, the Qu'ran [spelling?] says that a man can have 4 wives if he can treat them all the same. My response to this is that of course a man can't treat 4 wives the same, and the line should be interpreted 'you can't have multiple wives'. But many Muslims use this line to have multiplte wives. Of course, mine is just another interpretation and not necessarily the right one, but the Onan thing was due to mistranslation so I thought I'd better post it. My point is if the Church don't want you to masturbate (for whatever invasive reasons they may have) they will find a piece of Bible text that could be said to condemn it.
In conclusion: Christian scripture does not condemn masturabtion. The Christian Church does. It's your decision if you either let God or a group of men (don't get me started on the Church and sexism) who claim to represent God tell you what to do (or neither, of course).

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

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virginia36861
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Masterbation is just another way to enjoy life, with a partner or without a partner.. Alot of women find comfort in knowing that this really does turn their partner on watching and there is nothing wrong with experienting with our own bodies. there are so many women that would never confess to doing this because they have been made to think this is wrong or possibly "freaky". This is something we find we have control over at a young age and it makes us feel good, so why not do it. as long as we are in the privacy of our own bedrooms, why not find what makes us feel good, relieve stress or just put smile on our face when the day has nothing else to offer..Never let someone make you feel this is wrong or something to be embarrassed about. There are so many ways to enjoy your body and be comfortable with it, and sometimes practicing with ones self, only makes you even more desirable to someone else. If you are with a partner, show them what you like, where you like and do it for them. There is not one man that will not enjoy this at one time or another. We are made to think our bodies are "forbidden", but if you think about it, this is a sure fine way to prevent alot of STD'S and you still get something in return...(A SMILE)

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Virginia

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Wise Janet Weiss
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OMG!I'm 17 and I've been masterbating since I was
6/7.At first I didn't understand why.I thought it was natural,but sometimes I thought I was sick.But thank god that when I was 11,my grandmother lent me her book:
Where Women Have No Doctor.

It helped me learn that masterbation was normal,
and now I have scarleteen to second that!Oh and my grandmother.

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zavazavi
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hey we dont know each other but i just want know how i can post my questions to this topic?

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mahya

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zavazavi
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ya ok
I am aguy and shagging from last2-3 years!but from some months its going on increasing lie 2-3 inweek to 3 time in a day!!Is it right or Iam very confused plzzzzzzz some help me!!!!!!!

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mahya

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Djuna
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I still find it hard to believe that I only discovered masturbation at 15. [Embarrassed]
For years I'd been uncomfortable and squirming with a massive(ish) erection, and I never twigged what to do... Oh well, I'm here now and it's great. [Wink]
Zavazavi, it's normal for people to get a surge in their sex drive in their teens (well, I'm guessing you're a teen [Big Grin] ). So this is nothing to worry about. When you're 60 you'll be praying to be horny like this again. [Wink]
Just by the way? Not everyone here has English as their first language. So we try to use standard English rather than text language just to make it easier for everyone. Thanks. [Smile]

[ 09-14-2006, 04:36 PM: Message edited by: smileyjoseph ]

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

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wobblyheadedjane
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quote:
Originally posted by Tuxy:
OMG!I'm 17 and I've been masterbating since I was
6/7.At first I didn't understand why.I thought it was natural,but sometimes I thought I was sick.But thank god that when I was 11,my grandmother lent me her book:
Where Women Have No Doctor.

It helped me learn that masterbation was normal,
and now I have scarleteen to second that!Oh and my grandmother.

Tuxy, I went to look up that book and it looks like a *fabulous* read. Thanks for the recommendation.

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Unlucky at cards; lucky at love.

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Wise Janet Weiss
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Your Welcome!

And it is a fabulous read.

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Zen-X
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i've masturbate seince i was 13/12.. n now im 19..still cant stop masturbate..
1st time masturbate, it was a starnge feeling..its fun n i do it again n again..
but after for a long time, i feel that masturbate didnt fun anymore..

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rubbaduckie
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I love to masturbate to be honest.
Its a great way for anyone to feel good, no strings attached.
For me personally it helps me express my sexual desires without doing anything that might compromise my safety.
Also I find it a great way to regain controll when my hormones are drastically out of control!
Masturbation is great, and if u dont think so then your entitled to your opinions there is only one think I ask...
keep an open mind,
tunnel vision prevents you from seeing the world.

'Most everything is worth a try, once!

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rubbaduckie
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There is a question i'd like to ask though....
(I have read your terms and conditions and i think this question is suitable but feel free to correct me if I'm wrong!)
I would like to experiment with penetrative masturbation with objects. I am unsure what kind of thing is safe to use. Is it possible for you to name an item which would be suitable and based on the characteristics of said item I can find something safe to use.

If this question is inappropriate please feel free to delete or edit or whatever it is you do.

Thanks for the great site!

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ErinK
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Well, rubbaduckie, we aren't allowed to give specific technique advice because we have to keep the site acceptable for people who are 13 and up.

However, I can give you some general advice:

1) Don't use anything with sharp edges.

2) Cover anything you use with a condom or with cling film.

3) Consider just using your fingers -- most household objects aren't really made for insertion. [Smile]

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pinkygurl
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its good to know more girls are open about masturbation now...mom hates it!
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Hijol
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YES. I know. Ever since I read that article two days ago, I've been so relieved and surprised. Does 95% of the all people really masturbate? Or has masturbated once in their lifetime? Wow...it's very cool. And the info about sex is very interesting.

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timmah
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Ok let me first state that I am a Christian.

And before my opinion comes, let me say this:
Always ask God first - asking God first and waiting on him is a lot better than relying on others and acting when we want. Please, do not trust me to give you the right answer, but trust God, he knows you more then any of us do.

Right heres my experience:

I will say that I personally have masturbated a lot, and have struggled with the ethical issues, and this is my opinion.

Masturbation is normal. Anyone who tells you otherwise that its unnatural is a liar.

I am sure that most men do it (at least once) and a fair majority of women have at done it at least once. There are people who have never masturbated themselves, but research has shown that these people (who I admire for their sexual control) actually eject semen while they sleep, and are more likely to have 'wet dreams'.

Though masturbation is also to be a cause of concern: you can become addicted to it, and dependent on it like a drug.

If masturbation becomes an addiction (ie. you keep wanting to do it all the time, and just cant control yourself) then its time to cut down - ask for help - both from God and from friends.

KEEP MASTURBATION UNDER CONTROL, AND DONT LET IT CONTROL YOU.

But in Conclusion. Please, ask God - dont rely on me or anyone else to be right, ask him - he knows us better than we do ourselves - he is a wise God, and he will give you the answer - the answer may not come straight away - be paitent, watch and listen for it - remember, not our will be done, but God's.

Cheers,
Tim

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LilBlueSmurf
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Please remember that not everyone shares the same religion here ... Not everyone believes in 'God'.

Also, masturbation is not addictive in the same way certain drugs are. Masturbation is not a drug, so becoming addicted in the way one would become addicted to drugs isn't possible. Please check your facts before you post.

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timmah
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Please remember that not everyone shares the same religion here ... Not everyone believes in 'God'.

Ah, I googled this forum and found a couple of Christians posting, so I did think some were looking for the Christian answer to the question.

People can become addicted to anything - drugs is just an example of the extent the addiction can be.

Yeah, I probably used drug in the wrong context here. But more commonly, the word "drug" is being used as a adjective, not a noun. Drugs are strongly associated with addictions and sometimes "drug" is substituted for addiction.

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dailicious
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(For all intents and purposes, here, though, we do like to establish the difference between a checmical, physical addiction - the kind an illegal/legal substance can/does create, ie alcohol or heroine, etc. and a compulsive behavior such as masturbating excessively - yes, something like compulsive masturbation CAN become an issue that needs to be dealt with, if it is interfering with one's life, but it is not physically addicte in quite the same sense as an addictive, chemical substance - make sense?)

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ILoveBlueEyes
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Masturbation where I come from is extremely normal..for men and women alike..and I find it very frustrating to hear that so many men think that they are the only ones who masturbate..it has become a gender issue of the ages..that less women maturbate than men..I guess men would feel more of a need to than women at some stages because of different bodily functions but its still a ridiculous assumption that men do it more...how many guys on this board hold the opinion that their female friends dont masturbate?

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OnceOnABlueMoon
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I know it shocked my boyfriend. We knew each other in high school and on a dare he asked me whether I did or not. I lied of course. Later, when I knew him better and the dare was over with, I told him the truth. Yeah, I masturbate. Not only that but I'd been masturabting longer than him I think, though it was so long ago that I didn't even know what sex was.

I really believe that women's masturbation needs to be lifted out of that "taboo" zone. It's a hold over from the Victorian Era, when women were supposed to NOT enjoy sex. If the view on women's right to ejoy her sexuality really has changed then...why is masturbation still such a gender difference? Plus women need to do it, they need to be told its okay simply as a learning technique.

Posts: 48 | From: North of Hell South of Paradise | Registered: Mar 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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