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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SHOP TALK » Article Questions & Chat » Pink Slip: Is Masturbation Okay? (Page 3)

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Author Topic: Pink Slip: Is Masturbation Okay?
logic_grrl
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quote:
This website makes it seem like if your a teen and you don't feel right having sex all the time then you are wierd!

Given the amount of time we spend discouraging people from having partnered sex before they're truly ready, emphasizing the risks and responsibilities of sexual activity, and affirming celibacy as a valid choice ... I don't think so.

There are plenty of teens here who aren't sexually active - for that matter, there are advocates here who aren't sexually active. And that's fine.

As you'd have noticed, if you weren't too busy lying, harassing and insulting people. Which are, as I recall, not activities that Jesus was too keen on.


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Snowshine
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Hey, I wanna say well done on the article! I already knew there was nothing wrong with masturbating (cos thankfully I wasn't brought up thinking there was anything wrong with it) but it was interesting, and also informative for people who might not know that it's fine to do it. People who think it's wrong or whatever are just ignorant.
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Snowshine
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Hey, I wanna say well done on the article! I already knew there was nothing wrong with masturbation (thankfully my mum told me when I was younger that it's fine, so I was never brought up thinking there was anything wrong with it) but the article was still interesting, and informative for those who might not know it's ok. So, well done! People who think it's wrong are just ignorant and narrowminded. Plus, they're missing out! ;-)
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ALittleCurious
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I was just wondering....can a virgin get off? I mean is it actually possible for a virgin to masturbate and if so then how will they know?How can they know if they are mastubating.

------------------
~JAS~


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ALittleCurious
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I was just wondering....can a virgin get off? I mean is it actually possible for a virgin to masturbate and if so then how will they know if its really happening to them? Is there any sign to tell us virgin's if we've ever masturbated or not? How do, or how will we know?

------------------
~JAS~


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ALittleCurious
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I was just wondering....can a virgin get off? I mean is it actually possible for a virgin to masturbate and if so then how will they know if its really happening to them? Is there any sign to tell us virgin's if we've ever masturbated or not? How do, or how will we know?

------------------
~JAS~


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logic_grrl
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quote:
I mean is it actually possible for a virgin to masturbate and if so then how will they know if its really happening to them?

I'm not sure what you're asking here.

Unless you're masturbating in your sleep, generally masturbating is something you do deliberately - anything you do to sexually stimulate and satisfy yourself, really. So you would know that it was going on. It's generally not something that happens to you without your knowing about it - although sometimes people masturbate without knowing that that's what it's called.

And yes, people who've never been sexually active with others can certainly masturbate and have orgasms.

If you haven't already, I suggest you read the article this thread is about. You may also find this one useful:

Sexual Response and Orgasm: A User's Guide

[This message has been edited by logic_grrl (edited 11-18-2004).]


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ALittleCurious
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Thanks gor the information. I really learned a lot from the pages that you referred me to. Now I understand. At first I thought that I had never ever had an orgasm before but since I read those passages, I've realized that I indeed have been having an orgasm. I have another question to ask. What are some ways that I can get my boyfriend off? Our relationship is non-sexual. Im a virgin but he's not and I know sometimes he gets the urge or need to "release" himself. How can I help him with his needs?
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logic_grrl
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Hey, great to hear you found the article illuminating . There are lots of other good ones on the site, so do check them out too.

quote:
What are some ways that I can get my boyfriend off? Our relationship is non-sexual.

Some things to think about:

Assuming he's got functioning hands, he can "release" himself just fine . He doesn't need you to do it for him.

If you want to, and he wants you to, that's fine, but it's not something he "needs" from you or that you're "obliged" to do to keep him happy (and whether he's a virgin or not has nothing to do with it).

Secondly, if you "get him off" in any way, then you are engaging in sexual activity with him. It may not be intercourse, but it's certainly sexual. So you won't be having a "non-sexual" relationship with him any more, and you need to decide if you're okay with that.

As a practical point, we can't and won't give "technique" advice like lists of ways to bring someone to orgasm, because people are different and like very different things - your boyfriend's the only person who can tell you what he enjoys.


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logic_grrl
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Hey, great to hear you found the article illuminating . There are lots of other good ones on the site, so do check them out too.

quote:
What are some ways that I can get my boyfriend off? Our relationship is non-sexual.

Some things to think about:

Assuming he's got functioning hands, he can "release" himself just fine . He doesn't need you to do it for him.

If you want to, and he wants you to, that's fine, but it's not something he "needs" from you or that you're "obliged" to do to keep him happy (and whether he's a virgin or not has nothing to do with it).

Secondly, if you "get him off" in any way, then you are engaging in sexual activity with him. It may not be intercourse, but it's certainly sexual. So you won't be having a "non-sexual" relationship with him any more, and you need to decide if you're okay with that.

As a practical point, we can't and won't give "technique" advice like lists of ways to bring someone to orgasm, because people are different and like very different things - your boyfriend's the only person who can tell you what he enjoys.


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ALittleCurious
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I understand all of that. Its just that when he wants to be pleasured by me
he's shy to ask. he expects me to know exactly what he wants. how can i get him to open up to me?

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Shann2002
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Ahhh, lovely masturbation, The safest form of "sex" (depending on your personal definition of sex).

I started at a young age (8?). Never knew why, i just did it. I never thought it was something wrong, but just knew that the grownups would prolly freak outif they saw me.

Now I'm a 20 year old college junior (downs head at today's fight at the Carolina-Clemson game).

GOOO GAMECOCKS!!! (shame we lost)


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Demetri
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Hello girls, i'm a guy posting from Chile, South america, and i just want to agree with you in all terms about the way you look at masturbation as a healthy activitie, and i think it's really important to you to keep looking at this in that way, because in the place i live, things are quite different... Just a few time ago, i started reading some pages with educative sexual content and i took conciousness about the freedom you have to talk about things like this in a serious ambient and without being afraid of being bothered by another person, situation wich is really strange in my country, 'cause now that i became a sort of "stadistic investigator" a know that GIRLS dont talk to BOYS about sex, and even they talk between herselves about this topic, wich i think is something to take care of, because if they have any question, there's no one who can give 'em a correct answer according to the colective point of view, and many times the girls commit some errors because of their uninformed way of do the things. I really try to persuade my female friends to document about sex, and to read useful sites as this one, but it's hard to change the mind of teeanger girls who their parents remember they almost everyday that sex = taboo . I hope that the my labor of guiding some missing guys in the highway of sex don't fall, that's why i'm researching first for the question to my own answers. Keep going Girls!!!

Full name edited for your protection

(Additionally, there's no data which supports any sort of gender divide in terms of who is uninformed about sexuality. In fact, if anything, sexual information, like this, as opposed to sexual entertainment, has long had a larger female market than a male one. In other words, from print sales and web stats we do know that more women read sexuality information and education than men do.) - Miz S.

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 01-05-2005).]


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rosesnstuff
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this was a great topic, i really learned a lot. ive been masturbating foe about a yeas ( im almost 14) and its great to know that this wont hurt me or damage my sex life when i do start having sex. im also glad to know that by reading some replys that it isnt so weird that i started doing it so early and that im strange for wanting ot do it so young.
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sanity
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Nice article. One slight inaccuracy: If a "first time" is planned, and intended to be something special, then having not masturbated at all would make it that much more incredible. Assuming it was incredible in the first place.

But, to be celebate (without masturbation or sex) is hard -- I tried to do it for a month, as an experiment, and I barely made it for a week. At the end of this, I had a much better than usual orgasm, but I slowly learned to culture that on my own anyway.

On top of this, I get the feeling from reading this that most "first times" don't work out (I'm a virgin).

So, sometimes it's worth it for the anticipation, but it would be foolish to (puns aside) attach any deep meaning to this.

But that was the original point, anyway.


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logic_grrl
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quote:
If a "first time" is planned, and intended to be something special, then having not masturbated at all would make it that much more incredible.

Why? In general, not knowing anything about your body's responses and what you enjoy does not make for an "incredible" partnered experience.


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Cihan
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I've been masturbating, for well I can't even remember how long. I believe I started at around nine or ten, making it a good 4-5 years. When I was younger, I didn't understand what I was doing. I remember thinking it was wrong, and trying to not do it for a while. But, a body knows best, and I got older and began to understand it all.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with masturbation. When someone can find me a plausible reason besides "blah blah my religion/parents/friends say it's bad" then I'll believe them. But guess what? That plausible reason doesn't exist ^_~

Masturbation is good for your mind, body, and soul. You get pleasurable physical stimulation, it helps relieve stress, and can just put you in a better overall mood. If masturbation is wrong I don't want to be right.


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karategirl
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thank you for this article, i masterbate very often but always felt unsure about it. But now i can feel free to enjoy myself. thanks again
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Juniata
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Thank you sooooo much for this article. I'm seventeen, nearly eighteen and have just started masturbating and having orgasms. Thanks to scarleteen!

I've just got some questions: the first week I started masturbating, I easily orgasmed every night. Now when I masturbate, it takes longer to orgasm, and sometimes I don't orgasm at all.

I'm guessing that the first week was the release of seventeen-plus years of sexual tension? And that ordinarily I probably don't have the appetite to masturbate every night? I guess I just have to find my natural rythm? If I masturbate each night, sometimes without orgasms, am I less likely to orgasm strongly?

Think I have plenty of questions? Lol. Thanks,
Juniata


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elliesArednekRAM
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quote:
Originally posted by coldplayer:
best article i've read, feel mre comfortable with myself now



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Ladymustang07
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Well I'd like to say first that I am highly embarased( or however you spell it) to even mention this. I am very disgusted at myself, although this site says that it is ok, for doing this. well ever since i was small, maybe 5 or 6(around there) I would always go to my cousins house and we would always play a game called "Boyfriend" She was the one in which introduced me into masterbating, She was 10. A wise person once told me that once the mind has been expanded it canot return to its original state. So what i mean is that, I have been masterbating since i was small and I stopped when I was 15,which is last year. At the age of maybe 12 I noticed that my labia minora was sticking out of my labia majora. One side is sticking out more than the other and there both purple. Another thing is that I have discharge coming out. It comes out alot but not in a big amount. I hate it because when I take a shower at night, in the morning I have to change underwear because it smells. I am very worried. I havent had sex. 1 because I havent told anyone about this and 2 because im not really interested in having sex right now. Alot of girls i know have already lost their virginity and I think its gross. Another thing that Im worried about is that I am Catholic and I wonder if that is a sin. I mean Im not really a person that goes to church everyday or every sunday but I do pray every night. Like I said I wonder if its a sin. IM so scared. I was thinking of going to the gyno or the doctor but like i said no one knows and im scared. Help please.


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Bobolink
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Firstly, your genitals sound completely normal. This is what labia do when a female goes through puberty and becomes an adult woman. Adult genitals do not look like a child's genitals. This comment actually applies to both men and women.

Discharge is also normal. It is the vagina's way of keeping itself clean.

If you are menstruating, you need to be getting a gynecological check-up once a year. This is just normal health care and nothing more is implied by it.

You might wish to read the following articles:

Labia Blog-A-Thon

Honorably Discharged: A Guide to Your Vaginal Secretions

Your First Gynecologist Visit

------------------
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

- Galileo


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fantarama
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quote:
Originally posted by ALittleCurious:
I was just wondering....can a virgin get off? I mean is it actually possible for a virgin to masturbate and if so then how will they know if its really happening to them? Is there any sign to tell us virgin's if we've ever masturbated or not? How do, or how will we know?


Yes. Anytime a person plays with themselves down there, Virgin or not, the feeling will become pleasurable and that's masterbation(one who pleases themselves) how? For girls who are virgins can rub themselves or use vibrators. Same for nonvirgins but they can do much more because they are opened down there. Nonvirgins can use dildos to stick inside. Virgins can't because they are closed. Overall, virginns can use a vibrator or rub themselves until they feel pleasure. They know.


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Heather
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There is no such things as a "closed" vagina, for the record, and a woman does not need to engage in sexual intercourse to be "open," should she want to engage in any sort of vaginal insertion.

The vagina loosens each time with sexual arousal -- which any person of any levelof sexualexperience, even none, can experience -- not penetration.


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dailicious
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Fantarama, while we do encourage people read the article on Scarleteen, ask questions, and give others advice on the message boards, we do ask that you do not spread misinformation. It's alright, because you could simply be misinformaed yourself, but what you wrote about virgins vs. non-virigins is not true.

Virginity is a social concept, not a medical condition.

Masturbation both penetrative and non-penetrative can be done by anyone, it is not limited to virgins or non-virgins. There is absolutely no way to tell if anyone has ever masturbated OR if they have ever had manual sex or sexual intercourse unless they tell you themselves.

The vagina does not "open up" after a woman has intercourse, nor is it ever really "closed" - the vagina will return to the exact same shape and size AFTER intercourse as it was before a woman has ever had intercourse at all.

The way anyone masturbates is completely related to what they like, NOT whether or not they have had intercourse.

You may want to check out these two articles, as well, for more information:

Magical Cups & Bloody Bride (On virginity)
Pink Parts: Female Sexual Anatomy

(Posted the same time as Miz S!)

[This message has been edited by dailicious (edited 08-19-2005).]


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latoya14
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this article is a very accurate article for a teenager and even an adult it gives the greatest advice about masturbating for raging hormones or self pleasure.
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Christine 438
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I recently started about a year ago (okay not so recently) And I am so grateful for everything this site has showed me. I am still worried about telling anyone though. My parents don't know! Is that something yer supposed to tell them?? My friends make jokes about masturbetion, and a kind of hushed silence fallows. We kind of laugh, but not mean it. I heard alot of percentages ranging from 40% to 94% or females masturbage, but how many teens do it?? I'm only 13 and I still feel like I'm doing something wrong. I fallow the Chritian faith, and I'm still worried if masturbation is considered sex- and if so- am I going against the Bible?? I'm stuck in the middle---please help!!
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Christine 438
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Sorry, I was unregistered when posted that last one- and I would like an e-mail notifi-whats-it when someone reply's...sorry!!
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Missy143
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I am almost 16 and haven't been to the gyno yet.. I'm sort of scared. Partly because i masterbate, and i am worried that the doctor might be able to tell (i'm a virgin). Does it have something to do with having an intact hymen?

I know it's not something to be ashamed of, but i think i would just be too awkward if anyone ever found out.

I loved the article by the way.. very informative and helpful!


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Pumpkin_Pie
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virginity is a very tricky issue and has little to do with your hymen, being perfectly honest.


There are those who say a torn hymen is a sign that a girl had sex, but it can be torn by physical activity or anything like that.

Your gyno will not care if you masturbate, or if you've had sex before. For the sake of your health, you should go get checked out


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Faded-Seaside-Glamour
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In the days of Old people belived that's how you told if someone was a vigin. But of course that isn't true. A gynocologist wouldn't be able to tell if it was broken through using a tampon, masturbation, or if you were born like that (as some girls are). I'm 15 and have never been as untill very recently I was extremely nervous about anybody seeing me in any state of undress. However thanks to my boyfriend I no-longer mind. At the end of the day, safety comes first, and you should go. Good luck!

Finally, I would like to confessing to masturbation. There are just somethings I have trouble saying out loud and that's one of them. Oh, and I watch porn. That's another.


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MattsGirl
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I just want to say a big 'Thank You' for the masturbation Q&A!

I have been masturbating about 4/5yrs (im 19 this Summer) it has taught me that what i am doing is perfectly normal.

Have been slightly confused tho, i have only ever had an 'orgasm' from pentrtation, as have never been able to find my 'clitoris', rubbing in the aera feel amazing, i just can't find the clitoris hood or the clitoris it's self :-/

Thank You for a truely wonderful website!!


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mmmmmmm
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im 14 and often masturbate but i have never ejaculated should i be worried?
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mmmmmmm
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also i like to masturbate to male nude pictures but i dont think im gay.

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Michaela
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Scarleteen,
What do you think of mutual masturbation as opposed to intercourse.I am seventeen and have been practicing this with my boyfriend for neatrly a year,but can't help having guilt feelings.I also have a very good female friend and have had strong desires to do this with her as well.Is this wrong,as I think that I am bisexual

Michaela

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Micky

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