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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » HIV/STI freak out over oral

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Author Topic: HIV/STI freak out over oral
IsidoleLandower
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Member # 95422

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I recently did oral on my guy just a few nights ago.
I don't know a whole lot about oral sex, but he asked me to do it and I told him I would like to try, as long as he didn't cum while I did.
I did it, it wasn't near as scary as I thought, I actually kinda liked it. But I got to thinking about it and I didn't use any protection. I am a virgin, my guy has been with many other girls (unfortunately) before me, and hasn't been tested, which I meant to have him do before we did anything too serious.

He didn't cum, but when I put my mouth on his penis there was a little bit of liquid on the tip, which I'm guessing is pre-cum? See, I don't know about these things. I'm just very concerned that I might've contracted something. I don't know how high the risks are. I'm wondering now if I should get tested, if he should get tested, if I should refrain from giving oral again without protection or until we know if he's clean... I don't know what to do. What are the things I might've contracted? What should I do? I'm kind of panicky right now... [Eek!]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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So, anytime you have that kind of contact, ejaculate or not, there are potential STI risks. HIV is really the least of these risks, since while it is technically possible to be transmitted orally, we have very, very few cases where it appears it actually has been transmitted that way.

Here's a page that can show you which STIs are possible risks with sexual activities: STI Risk Assessment: The Cliff's Notes

What to do now is that you can go on and get an oral STI panel done in around a month or so. His testing is up to him, obviously, but personally, I always advocate for partners asking each other to be regularly tested when they are sexually active, and that's even when they ARE using safer sex practices like barriers for any oral, vaginal or anal sex.

Then, moving forward, you two can talk about safer sex practices, like how with someone like him who does have a sexual history, the way to reduce risks best is to use barriers for all those sexual activities until at least six months of sexual exclusivity and then, after those six months, a new STI panel for him to see if he's got any infections or not.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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IsidoleLandower
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Thank you so much, Heather!
I have a couple more questions:

I guess kissing doesn't pose as many risks as oral, even without ejaculate?

Can I get an accurate STI panel done at the health department or an urgent care clinic? Or is that an OBGYN thing?

And do you have any advice on how to approach requesting him to get a test done? Do you think I should get a full test done as well? I've never had any testing of that nature done before.

Thank you so much.

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Heather
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Nope, not at all. The only STI -- rather than other kinds of illness -- that is an issue with kissing is the Herpes virus.

Health departments often will do STI testing: to find out if yours does, just call up their office and ask. [Smile]

What tests you should have done will depend on your sexual history and what kinds of sex you have engaged in. Your healthcare provider will typically ask for that background when you tell them you want testing, and will help you to decide what to get tested for based on that history per what you were possibly exposed to and what you won't likely have been.

Really, with asking a partner, I think it's pretty much this, "Hey, have you ever been tested for STIs, and if so, have you been tested recently? If not, can you take care of that, please?" Seriously. This is really basic sexual healthcare we do for ourselves and partners once we've become sexually active, the same, really, as getting general checkups for our general health, or seeing the dentist to protect our teeth.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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The issue, btw, per oral sex posing the risks it does isn't just about body fluids in general, or even fluids from the penis in general, but just about contact with genital tissue. That's because while some STIs are transmitted via fluids -- and pre-ejaculate poses just as much of a risk as ejaculate -- others are transmitted just via genital contact, namely, HPV and Herpes.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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