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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » first time, terrified.

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Author Topic: first time, terrified.
Jenny Keller
Neophyte
Member # 95633

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Hello, I am 16 years old and I just had my first time a week ago to the date. My last period was on the 8th of April. We only went for about 5 minutes. He used a condom and he didn't ejaculate. I'm pretty sure the condom didn't tear or anything. Things went really wrong and we got upset with each other about halfway through, he started to get soft but we tried one more time. It was too painful, so we stopped.
I'm just worried that I may be pregnant. I'm starting to have headaches, fatigue, stomach problems, etc. but that could also be because I'm stressed. Him and I are in a rough patch right now, so I am depressed. Could that be the reason for those symptoms too? I'm really scared. I'm not a bad person, I just really thought I was ready. I'm not on the pill or anything but like I said he did use a condom.
What are the chances I could be pregnant? Do I have any reason to be worried?

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I'm sorry you had a first time with intercourse that sounds like it was pretty upsetting, Jenny.

If a condom was used for all contact and it didn't rip, tear or slip off -- things you'd usually notice -- then pregnancy is not at all likely. As well, having symptoms of a pregnancy so early isn't at all likely. Pregnancy takes around a week to even be a pregnancy where anyone can get symptoms, but things like feeling very fatigued usually come way later on in the game. So, it seems likely those symptoms are from something else, be it stress or anxiety, a stomach virus, etc.

Can I ask why you're saying here you're not a bad person: why would anyone think you're a bad person?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jenny Keller
Neophyte
Member # 95633

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It's okay, I pictured a better experience, but hey, it's life. But thank you so much for your answer. It really helps a lot with calming my nerves.

And the reason I said I'm not a bad person is because some people who may be reading this might think that I'm too young, and that it was a bad choice. I just kind of feel guilty and I just want people knowing I'm a good kid, I just thought I was ready.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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No worries about the latter bit here: this is about as safe a public space as it gets, and even if someone were to think that, per our guidelines, they'd need to keep those kinds of feelings about someone else's choices to themselves.

By all means, sometimes users here will express situations or feelings that obviously aren't working for them so we might suggest stepping back sexually or making different choices, but that usually isn't based on age and certainly isn't about anyone being bad people. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jenny Keller
Neophyte
Member # 95633

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Okay, thank you so much! I'm glad I can express my worries somewhere I won't get judged. Your answers were amazingly helpful at calming me down. Thanks again [Smile]
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