Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Terrified - please help.

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Terrified - please help.
worrysomeneil
Neophyte
Member # 93279

Icon 1 posted      Profile for worrysomeneil     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Two weeks ago (during her ovulation) my girlfriend and I had oral sex. I was completely clothed. I only remember stimulating her clitoris with my hands, and I only touched my area over my jeans. The next thing we did was dry hump from behind - she had no underwear on and I was wearing boxer briefs and blue jeans. After just maybe a minute or two, we put her underwear on just to be careful. Later, we went into the bathroom and she performed oral on me for maybe 2-3 minutes. She touched my penis with her hands, but before she ever touched her vagina again she washed her hands, and even then she only touched her clitoris. Through the whole time I never ejaculated. I never came.

She should have gotten her period yesterday. It's not here. She was cramping a lot yesterday, but her period is not here.

We are both scared to death. I've read the 'Pregnancy Scared' article here but I'm still confused. We didn't mean to do that, but we were home alone and caved in. I don't want my mistake (I take the blame) to ruin her. The idea of hurting her through this, if she is pregnant, is unbearable.

Thank you.

[ 01-03-2012, 09:49 AM: Message edited by: worrysomeneil ]

Posts: 3 | From: USA | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So at least one of you was clothed at all times? In that case, I do not see a pregnancy risk from the situation you describe.

Since it's been two weeks, your girlfriend can take a test now if she doesn't want to wait for her period for confirmation.

Just as a note, though: unless one of you coerced or manipulated the other, there is no "blame" to be assigned here, and no one "guilty" party. Sex is a shared activity, and both of you chose to go forward with this. If you do not feel comfortable with the risk you both took, why not sit down together to work out how you can better handle such situations in the future.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
worrysomeneil
Neophyte
Member # 93279

Icon 1 posted      Profile for worrysomeneil     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
There wasn't any manipulation or coercion, I just feel extremely guilty and like it is my fault. I was clothed while giving her oral and the dry humping, and she was clothed while giving me oral. I guess other (less professional) boards are scaring me to death because I keep hearing about people getting pregnant from precum on hands and fingers and whatnot.

I've heard from another website that you need to wait a week after the missed period for the most accurate test result - is this true?

Posts: 3 | From: USA | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It just doesn't help to assign blame in a situation like this, you know? You both chose to do this, you both don't feel comfortable with it, so the best thing to do is to get through this scare together and then work together to figure out what kind of sexual activity you are and aren't ready for.

You can take a pregnancy test at two weeks after the risk or the first day of a missed period. Since it's been two weeks and the period is already late, she can take a test right now.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
worrysomeneil
Neophyte
Member # 93279

Icon 1 posted      Profile for worrysomeneil     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
SHE JUST GOT IT! Thank you so much for your help, September. I've been looking on these boards during my anxiety and it's really great how helpful you and the other Scarleteen staff are. Thanks for both the encouragement and advice.
Posts: 3 | From: USA | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Glad to hear it! You are very welcome. [Smile]

If you two would like any help in negotiating what sort of sexual activities you are ready for, or checking out your options for protection, let us know! We'll be happy to talk with you.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3