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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Confused, In need of feedback and serious advice

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Author Topic: Confused, In need of feedback and serious advice
TinkLuvsGir
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Member # 93265

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I'm 17 and I have just recently become sexually active (as in intercourse)I"m on birth control and I have gotten the HPV vaccines (all of em)
I'm starting to get really concerned because I have these raised, painless bumps on my labia and I'm not sure what they are anymore.
I have exzema (had it all my life) and at first I thought it was just that. But now I'm freaking out beacuse more have popped up.
There are three postioned at the top of my vagina closely together kinda forming a triangle. They look like round dark bumps. Then there is one lower down and its round and flat. Kinda like a welt.
i had sex for the first time w/my bf on 12-24-11 and we were both virgins.
Oh, and Im allergic to latex....and BOYS (isn't that funny...Im serious. Dr. said im allergic to boys.) When we had sex he didn't use a condom beause I, on BC and I was scared tht the latex would hurt me. I know, I know that was probably a bad idea. i'm starting to realise that now.
Before we had sex I remember there being a dark spot on my vagina at the very top almost on my stomach. I'm just not sure what's going on.
I knoooow I need to dee a Gyno but that would require me telling my mom I'm having sex and I just don't know how to do that....I'm scared.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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For future reference, you know that there are non-latex condoms, right? If not, happy to fill you in on your options so you don't have to take the big risks of not using condoms at all.

It'd be a bit soon to have an STI screening unless before having vaginal intercourse, you were sexually active in other ways. If you have been, I'd suggest you go ahead and start those screenings to at least rule STIs out around these symptoms or, if you did pick one up, to get treated.

You don't have to tell your Mom about this to get that healthcare: that's up to you. If you want to know how to see a sexual healthcare provider yourself, we can help you with that.

These bumps, though: have they only appeared since you've had some kind of genital sex -- not just intercourse -- or were they there before that?

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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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TinkLuvsGir
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No, I had no idea there wete latex free condoms. Where could I find them?
And one bump had appeared before any sexual contact

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Heather
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There are!

So, you have quite a few options.

Durex's newer non-latex are called BARE. Lifestyle's non-latex are called SKYN. Trojan's non-latex are called Supra. You should be able to find at least one of these at drugstores with the other condoms.

The female condom is also non-latex, though those can be a bit harder to find.

Even though you will want to start using condoms to reduce STI risks (assuming you want to reduce those risks, and especially if you also aren't using any other method of birth control, so you have something to reduce pregnancy risks, too), if you already had a bump before you ever had any genital contact with someone else, chances are that we're not talking about an STI here, but about something else, like zits, boils or cysts or another manifestation of the skin issues you've had elsewhere.

I'd still, though, have a healthcare provider take a look, if for nothing else, for your own peace of mind.

[ 01-02-2012, 09:18 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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TinkLuvsGir
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Thank you so much for your time & help. I will look for those products you mentioned.
I will definatly go see my Dr about it. I hate feeling unsure about things

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Are you okay seeing the doctor you normally see for this, including being honest about being sexually active?

If not, I'm happy to help you find sexual healthcare local to you you can probably access yourself.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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TinkLuvsGir
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Yes ma'am. I believe that if I'm able to take on the responsibility of being sexually active, I need to be able to talk to my Doctor. I'm a little nervous about telling my mom but I can do it! [Smile]
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Heather
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Do you want to talk a little bit about that?

Personally, I think if someone wants to be able to have a parent know they're sexually active, and wants a parent involved in that part of their life, it's really ideal when they can be. For some young people, though, disclosing that means risking abuse. When it doesn't, and your worries are just about conflict, conflict that will probably be healthy, not abusive, we can usually help you through that.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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TinkLuvsGir
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Well Im not worried at all about abuse. The last time my parents hit me was when I was 9 & that was just a little pop on the butt. I am worried about how my mom'll react (she became pregnant at 17 & her worst fear is for that to happen to me, which I completly understand). We're also Christian but not the crazy extreme ''you're not allowed to do anything'' kind. I just don't want to cause any conflict that could damage our relationship. I tell her everything...pretty much
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Heather
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So, it sounds like the two of you are usually very close: do I have that right?

If so, am I getting it right that ideally this is something you would like to be able to talk with her about?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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TinkLuvsGir
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Yes we're very close & open and I really wamt to tell her. I feel like by not talking to her, I'm sorta betraying her trust
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Heather
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Well, sex and sexuality is something that most people keep private to some degree. So, I don't think you're betraying her trust.

At the same time, if she became pregnant at 17, that probably was because of things like not using or being able to get reliable contraception and not being able to tell a parent or other trusted adult who could support her about being sexually active. So, in that sense, asking her for help and support with this may actually be a really big relief to her. By now she probably knows that preventing pregnancy is most often very easy when people are doing things like using condoms and a second method, or not having to sneak around with sex.

But I also think that telling her that you worry about her reaction, but also want this to be like other parts of your relationship, where you are so close, is something that she'd probably feel very happy to hear. That speaks very well of the relationship she was part of making with you, after all. So does you taking the emotional risk of telling her: that makes clear that you feel safe with her, which says a lot about how good a job she did in parenting. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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TinkLuvsGir
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Yeah, her parents (my grandparents) were kinda strict and didn't believe in sex before marriage so she had no one to go to.
And I think you're right. I just need to let her know. I wouldn't want something bad to happen and then that be the reason I tell her.
Thank you soooo much, I feel a lot better about this now. I think I just needed a little push. And I will definatly make sure I communicate w/my bf that we need to always use protection.

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Heather
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I have a feeling that even if disclosing this is a bit stressful at first, that ultimately, it's going to be a good thing for both you and your Mom. Good on you for taking such a positive risk: I think you'll be glad you did.

Even if it doesn't go well, too, you're always welcome to pop back here and talk about it.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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TinkLuvsGir
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Thank you [Smile] I'll be sure to come back & share how it went!
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