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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Concerns

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Author Topic: Concerns
Member # 89809

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Good morning all - I have a few questions.

I have a feeling that I am irrationally concerned, but I could use some reassurance.

My potential scare was on 9/19. My girlfriend and I engaged in manual sex. I ejaculated (nowhere near her vulva), and not on my hands. I briefly touched some of the semen with the palms of my hand, and then wiped off, washed my hands twice, urinated, and washed again. My girlfriend washed as well.

I then briefly touched a mildly damp spot of semen on the bed, but wiped my hand on the sheet. I performed oral and manual sex on my girlfriend. I may have used the finger that touched the damp spot, but not before it was completely wiped off. We then spooned, but I kept my pelvis away from her and had no g to g contact.

She has since had what she says are 3 periods complete with PMS (cramping, etc.) and heavy bleeding for 2-3 days. I do not believe she has had any other bleeding.

Here's my question. I don't believe any of the above poses a risk, and I know that she is the best authority on what a period is and is not. I have, however, heard about decidual bleeding, so that has been on my mind. She also has gained a little weight, and felt nauseous this morning (she threw up once, but her doctor has said that there may be a 24 hr bug going around). I know that, by themselves, these things aren't necessarily concerning, but taken together, my imagination has been racing.

Any thoughts?

Posts: 2 | Registered: Nov 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

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Based on what you've described, there is not a risk here. The contact you are talking about is not something that would create a risk and your partner has had several periods.

Let me suggest a couple of pieces of reading and, if you'd like to talk more about ways to reduce your anxiety about sexual activity or stepping back from activities that make you anxious, we'd be happy to chat with you about it.
Where DID I Come From? A Refresher Course in Human Reproduction
Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul
Misconception Mayhem: Separating Pregnancy and Pregnancy Risk Myths from Facts
Whoa, There! How to Slow Down When You're Moving Too Fast
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

[ 11-30-2011, 11:03 AM: Message edited by: KittenGoddess ]

Sarah Liz

Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 89809

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Thanks so much!

Just to recap a few things I've read in some other threads (hopefully to save you some time). Please tell me if I am correct here:

- to have had a risk, fresh ejaculate would have had to make direct contact (no hand in between) OR been immediately deposited

- since she has had three months of what seems to be a period (correct time, heavy flow), decidual/implantation bleeding are not concerns

Right? I'm not necessarily freaking out, but I do want to fully understand this.

[ 11-30-2011, 04:16 PM: Message edited by: xll ]

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Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Yep! [Smile]

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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