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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Do I need plan B?

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Author Topic: Do I need plan B?
reeree
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Member # 70526

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Okay I don't know but I am SUPER worried I might have gotten pregnant. Me and my boyfriend were alone and I was on top of him and pushing down and grinding on him and he had his dick out but I had underwear on.

I fingered myself twice but the first time he licked off any precum and the second time I waited for a few seconds before doing that. It was the beginning and he really did not have that much precum ... like at all. I remember it dried off on my fingers fairly quickly. Nearly right after doing this I grabbed a cloth and made sure to clean myself (though I was still on top of him) and when he was getting very slick I was no longer on him and he finished himself off and I touched him but I made sure to wash my hands afterwards.


when we were done (like three hours later) I went to the bathroom and splashed a lot of water on my panties (they turned a dark color) and on my private parts AND I washed myself of with some toilet paper. When I got home the next day I wiped myself of with a wipe and changed the underwear.

Would I have a chance of getting pregnant at all? Where can I get a plan B pill (Im only 17)?

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Heather
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Am I getting it right that this whole time, you had underwear on, and so did not have ANY direct genital-to-genital contact?

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reeree
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
Am I getting it right that this whole time, you had underwear on, and so did not have ANY direct genital-to-genital contact?

None what so ever . Even while slightly drunk I completely remember this and I asked him just to be 100 percent sure (he was sober) and he told me that no I didn't. But Im super worried because I fingered myself after touching his dick which had some precum at the beginning of what we were doing and because Im afraid it got on my underwear and that could have gotten inside me somehow...or something...Im not sure if it works that way or not.
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Heather
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Okay, so two things.

1) Without direct contact, you do not need to be concerned about pregnancy.

2) Your boyfriend (and you) need to know that when either of you is drunk, that means that you being able to give full, real consent can be off the table. If you were not just drinking, but drunk at all, that means your judgment is likely impacted, which can result in things like having kinds of sex you might not otherwise, or not taking safety precautions you would know you want to take when sober. So, I'd suggest having a chat about nixing sex when you're drunk, and letting your partner know that's the deal, okay?

(Of course, in your other post, you made clear you seem to be having very strong physical reactions to even a little bit of alcohol, so my advice in that post still stands. Legal issues aside -- I don't believe you're even of age to legally drink -- it sounds like drinking is something you want to avoid, period, until you talk to a healthcare provider about the impact it has had on you.)

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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reeree
Neophyte
Member # 70526

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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
Okay, so two things.

1) Without direct contact, you do not need to be concerned about pregnancy.

2) Your boyfriend (and you) need to know that when either of you is drunk, that means that you being able to give full, real consent can be off the table. If you were not just drinking, but drunk at all, that means your judgment is likely impacted, which can result in things like having kinds of sex you might not otherwise, or not taking safety precautions you would know you want to take when sober. So, I'd suggest having a chat about nixing sex when you're drunk, and letting your partner know that's the deal, okay?

(Of course, in your other post, you made clear you seem to be having very strong physical reactions to even a little bit of alcohol, so my advice in that post still stands. Legal issues aside -- I don't believe you're even of age to legally drink -- it sounds like drinking is something you want to avoid, period, until you talk to a healthcare provider about the impact it has had on you.)

So none what so ever? Even with the fingering and if some precum got on the panties?

You don't need to tell me twice :/ Im never ever drinking AGAIN. In all honesty it sucked horrible.

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Heather
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Manual sex (like fingering) can pose risks of infections, but it is very unlikely it will present real pregnancy risks. Even with a full ejaculation, sperm are pretty delicate, and don't tend to fare well being shuffled around that way.

Same goes with getting through clothing: sperm cells need the fluid they are in in order to be mobile: they can't just walk around on their own and find their way to a fallopian tube without the help of that fluid and the ability to, with that fluid, get to where they're trying to go with a barrier like that in between.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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reeree
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Member # 70526

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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
Manual sex (like fingering) can pose risks of infections, but it is very unlikely it will present real pregnancy risks. Even with a full ejaculation, sperm are pretty delicate, and don't tend to fare well being shuffled around that way.

Same goes with getting through clothing: sperm cells need the fluid they are in in order to be mobile: they can't just walk around on their own and find their way to a fallopian tube without the help of that fluid and the ability to, with that fluid, get to where they're trying to go with a barrier like that in between.

You say infection...he has never had sex or been with anyone else besides me...so would this take away the risk of any infection?
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Heather
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Know how if we don't wash our hands before we eat, we can get sick because of germs on our hands?

It's the same deal with manual sex. Most of the time, infections that wind up happening as a result of manual sex aren't STIs, but thing like bacterial vaginosis.

So, no, there's a risk regardless, but it's very easy to reduce with basic hygiene (everyone washes their hands before putting them inside their own or anyone else's bodies) or latex gloves, if you or a partner prefer that way of reducing risks.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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reeree
Neophyte
Member # 70526

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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
Know how if we don't wash our hands before we eat, we can get sick because of germs on our hands?

It's the same deal with manual sex. Most of the time, infections that wind up happening as a result of manual sex aren't STIs, but thing like bacterial vaginosis.

So, no, there's a risk regardless, but it's very easy to reduce with basic hygiene (everyone washes their hands before putting them inside their own or anyone else's bodies) or latex gloves, if you or a partner prefer that way of reducing risks.

Oh okay thanks for mentioning that how soon would I know if I got bacterial vaginosis?
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Heather
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It's not like it's something that's going to happen every time someone doesn't wash up first.

But when BV does happen, it's usually marked by symptoms like very increased discharge, which can sometimes be a bit grayish, and a noticeable change in vaginal/vulval scent, usually kind of fishy-smelling. Some people with BV will also experience itching or burning.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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reeree
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
It's not like it's something that's going to happen every time someone doesn't wash up first.

But when BV does happen, it's usually marked by symptoms like very increased discharge, which can sometimes be a bit grayish, and a noticeable change in vaginal/vulval scent, usually kind of fishy-smelling. Some people with BV will also experience itching or burning.

Okay. I'm just happy I have no chance of pregnancy. THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR YOUR ANSWER. I was super worried about this. By any chance do you know reliable sites on how to treat this just in case or do I need to go to a doctor for that?
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Heather
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If and when someone gets BV, it's something you need to see a doctor about for diagnosis and treatment.

Mind, plenty of people who get it can just have their own bodies knock it out, but plenty of people also will need treatment.

however, I'd not worry about having gotten it just because you did something where you took a possible risk. Instead, I'd just make sure than in the future, you ask your partner to wash his hands (ideally, you don't have to, he'll be courteous like that himself, but still), and that you just make sure that you keep an eye out. As well, if and when we become sexually active at all, it's smart to get started with regular, preventative sexual healthcare.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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reeree
Neophyte
Member # 70526

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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
If and when someone gets BV, it's something you need to see a doctor about for diagnosis and treatment.

Mind, plenty of people who get it can just have their own bodies knock it out, but plenty of people also will need treatment.

however, I'd not worry about having gotten it just because you did something where you took a possible risk. Instead, I'd just make sure than in the future, you ask your partner to wash his hands (ideally, you don't have to, he'll be courteous like that himself, but still), and that you just make sure that you keep an eye out. As well, if and when we become sexually active at all, it's smart to get started with regular, preventative sexual healthcare.

Your awesome! Thanks for this info you really really helped me get rid of a lot of worry [Smile]
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