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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » A little worried and need a peace of mind.

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Author Topic: A little worried and need a peace of mind.
sarahmiller1989
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I've had problems being worried about pregnancy every time I have sex but it's been going away. However, I just started thinking about it again and it got me worried.

My boyfriend and I had sex on July 13 about 4 times that day. I am on birth control and take it at the same time, he used a condom and pulled out before he came. I had my period around July 23-25. It was a normal period with a heavy flow. We had sex again on August 3rd using a condom and me on the pill. He never came either.

What's making me worried right now is that my breasts are hurting and I've been getting kind of emotional. My stomach is also feeling weird and I've been kind of gassy. I usually feel this way before my period but it's not due for another 2 weeks. I took a pregnancy test 2 or 3 days ago just to see and it was negative, I think. I bought the tests in a pack of 3 but threw away the directions because this was the last one. There was 1 line in the control box and no line in the results box. It was one of those Equate tests from Wal-mart with the blue dye.

I'm just want to know if I could possibly be pregnant or it's just my birth control pill being weird and making me feel this way or am I just making myself feel this way because this has happened before when I was worried. Also, I did leave my birth control pills in a hot car one day for a couple of hours but I don't know if that did anything to the effectiveness.

I just need an expert's advice. Thanks.

[ 08-08-2010, 12:35 AM: Message edited by: sarahmiller1989 ]

Posts: 48 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
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Using the pill and condoms together has a failure rate of considerably less than 1%. That's a very, very small number. To boot, your partner did not even ejaculate. If you have sex with no methods of contraception, and the partner does not ejaculate, the pregnancy risk is at around 4%.

So, your pregnancy risk from protected sex without ejaculation is, well, very low.

On top of that, it's not possible to be pregnant and have a normal withdrawal bleed. But you've had one, which is another sign that you're not pregnant.

Do you want to talk about why you are so worried about pregnancy risks even though you are taking every possible precaution? There's always going to be a pregnancy risk with sex, no matter how careful you are, and being able to accept that small risk is part of being ready for sex. So could it maybe be that you're just not ready yet for the kinds of sex that can pose a pregnancy risk?

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Johanna
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sarahmiller1989
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That's what scares me: that there's always going to be a risk. I feel like with my bad luck even if I do everything right, I'll get pregnant. And pregnancy is just not an option for me because my parents don't even know I have sex let alone have a boyfriend. I was able to accept the risk for awhile because we had had sex a few times and I didn't end up pregnant. I know that my chances of getting pregnant are incredibly, impossibly low but I know it's there and it freaks me out a little. It doesn't scare my boyfriend though. He knows I can't get pregnant if we do everything we possibly can to prevent it. I have just always been the paranoid type. When I read about pregnancy and sex, that's when I get worried. See, I haven't been on scarleteen for a few months now and I was fine and not thinking about pregnancy. Then I started reading some posts and started to scare myself into thinking I could be pregnant even though I knew I couldn't be. I don't know. My mind is being really complicated. I guess it's just psychological?

Thanks for replying. I might not reply back so quickly because I'm going out of town but thank you for replying so quickly.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Sarah: while we always welcome all our users, this or other sites like it aren't the right place for everyone. If you find that being here triggers worries for you instead of abating them, my advice is to stay away. Not because we don't want you here, but because it's not helpful to you.

It seems like some of the issue here is with secrecy from your parents: is being honest with them an option for you? In other words, would you be in any danger if you were honest with them?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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sarahmiller1989
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Well, I like being here because I don't want to be ignorant. I want to be educated about all the things involving sex so that I can know what causes risks and what don't.

Being honest with my parents probably isn't an option because I'm not allowed to have a boyfriend even though I'm 18 and in college. I don't think I would be in danger but I would be in a lot of trouble.

I'm also still a little worried about this whole pregnancy thing. The past week my stomach has been feeling crampy and bloated. My breasts have been hurting a lot and my nipples started hurting. I keep telling myself there's no posible way I could be pregnant because we were as careful as possible. But I don't know. I guess I always need an answer to all the things going on in my body. I know I can't be pregnant but I want to know what's causing all of this malfunction in my body. It's so frustrating, the female body. Ugh!

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Karybu
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The thing with bodies - male, female, or otherwise - is that we can't always know why they do what they do, and our bodies are not always going to be totally predictable. And although that can be frustrating, it is something we just eventually have to accept. Do you think taking a pregnancy test would help relieve some of your stress around this? It really is incredibly unlikely that you're pregnant, but sometimes having the result to confirm that can be really helpful.

Also, have you considered just taking a break from sex for awhile until you feel a bit less stressed about the whole thing?

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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sarahmiller1989
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I've thought about taking another pregnancy test but I don't think I want to waste more money because my period is supposed to start on friday. So I think I'll just wait it out. I'm sure it'll come and after it does I usually stop worrying.

I think we'll be taking a break for a few weeks which should be nice. I won't have to worry. Plus, school is starting up so I don't want to be thinking about this.

I know the percentages of getting pregnant while using a condom and being on a pill but how likely does it actually happen? It seems like people are always getting pregnant somehow even when they do all the right things. I'm just wondering how likely it is and how these people are getting pregnant even when they're protected.

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Karybu
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Pairing condoms and the pill, and using both perfectly, means your risk is as close to zero as it is possible to get while still being sexually active. People who get pregnant using one or both of those methods are either not using them correctly and/or not using them every time.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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sarahmiller1989
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Okay, thank you very much for everything!
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sarahmiller1989
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Okay, I'm sorry but I'm starting to freak out again. My period was supposed to come today but it hasn't come yet. I always get my periods on friday in the morning but it still isn't here and doesn't even feel like it's coming. I'm very worried right now. Please help?
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Onionpie
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Hi, sarahmiller. There are many reasons that your period could be late -- and the most likely reason is all the stress you've been feeling lately. Not to mention, it's not really that late anyway, considering it was only supposed to come this morning, yes? So it's very possible that it'll still arrive sometime today. Your pregnancy risk, as Heather and Karybu have mentioned, is pretty much as close to zero as you can get while having sex. So there really isn't any reason to be worrying about a pregnancy right now.

Considering how worried you are getting about this, when there should be no reason to be so worried, I really encourage you to take sex (at the very least, just intercourse) off the table until you begin to be able to manage all this anxiety. I mean, where's the fun in having sex if you're spending so much time worrying about being pregnant, right? Why have the added stress in your life? [Smile] I'm sure it'll be a lot more fun if you take the time to work out your anxieties first, so then you really can relax and enjoy the sex that you have.

Here are a couple of articles you can read that might help you calm down a bit:
Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul
Pregnancy Scared?
M.I.A or, Dude, Where's My Period?

[ 08-20-2010, 01:04 PM: Message edited by: Onionpie ]

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