I aslo posted about my emotional issues with my boyfriend, and heather suggested not having sex for the next week at least till i was less confused. Well i solved my emotional issues faster than i thought and we wanted to have sex again .
I was sufficiently aroused , and was in the standing position when he "entered me" just and inch or so. but then i started REALLY BLEEDING. this was like heavy flow on my period. The last time i bled was 3 days ago or so. this would be my "third time having sex". First time resulted in a pinprick of blood, 2nd time was like a table spoon , but today was really frightening . There was even one blood clot like thing
think is i didnt bleed when he fingered me
slight soreness around the vaginal entry , PAIN when the its touched. im thinking the bleeding is caused by "tearing" or abrasions to the vaginal entry .
THIS IS NOT MY PERIOD . Bleeding stopped almost immediately I wanted to go down to a 24 hour clinic immediately but its pretty late and i had to go home. Im planning to go tomorrow ASAP.
I have PCOS and am on BC. I dont know why the bleeding was this bad? was it because i had not fully healed form the previous incident? i dont know . im not feeling good about this. we are both very worried. Any idea what couls have caused this?
I was a virgin before this and he has been tested before and has not has sex in 3 years.
good part was that he was extremely supportive and told me when that "nothing could scare him away"
ease my worries PLEASE!!! i have an anxiety issue and this is NOT GOOD
posted
Let me make sure I'm clear: you still have a lot of pain and soreness with any vulval contact now?
And the bleeding, how much are we talking about?
Per your PCOS: are you getting any treatment for that? Are you having any uterine or abdominal pain right now or lately?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63296 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
Menstrual blood doesn't actually usually clot, mostly because a) it's not a wound and b) most of menstrual flow isn't actually blood at all. What women call 'clots" are usually endometrial tissue.
When this happened, when was your last period?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63296 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
last period was about 21 days ago. im on my last pill or so before my period "withdrawal bleed"
Posts: 92 | From: las vegas | Registered: Feb 2010
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posted
So, is it possible this bleeding is an early period? Because it sounds like one strong possibility.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63296 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
maybe because im also on anti-biotics recently , so maybe so. but just before there was no "period at all" ... what do you think it most likely is?
im worried still . im going to my gyn ASAP tmr.
Posts: 92 | From: las vegas | Registered: Feb 2010
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posted
So, it's totally stopped now and has stayed stopped?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63296 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
Thing is, this may or may not be related to the sex you had, or totally related, especially with your PCOS.
I don't see why he'd be needed at your appointment, unless you simply wanted him there for emotional support.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63296 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
hence im totally worried since its not related to sex!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Posts: 92 | From: las vegas | Registered: Feb 2010
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-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63296 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
If you're not having any uterine or abdominal pain, I don't think you need to be worried this is something huge. Really.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63296 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
there is no pain at all.. im just scared out of my mind.
I called him crying again ...
we are going to go together (for emotional support ) ASASp tomorrow. hopefully its nothing serious
Posts: 92 | From: las vegas | Registered: Feb 2010
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Again, like I said, it sounds VERY unlikely this is anything serious. It could be as minor as you two not using lube when you needed to, you not being as aroused (physically) as you needed to be, some part of residual hymen/corona getting a small tear, or you having an orgasm and your uterus shaking out some lining that was close to be expelled at this time anyway.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63296 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
no orgasm at all we were not into it for more than 2 minutes.
you are right. i didnt think it was something serious initially and i guess just thinking it might have to be something to do with my PCOS freaked me out.
I have in the past once been warded for my PCOS. (excessive bleeding)
no lube was used... and yes maybe i might not have been aroused enough .
i need to calm myself down and just get it looked it tomorrow.
Posts: 92 | From: las vegas | Registered: Feb 2010
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THey took a standard pregnancy test ( obviously im not pregnant ! phew) She decided to do a speculum exam. She noted that my hymen was fully in tact.
She used the smallest size possible ,but it did hurt on first try, so she let me rest and then tried again , this time with no pain.
she said that there was one slight abrasion just inside the vagina which was most likely what caused the bleeding. SHe said my hymen might have been in the way of penetration and him using extra force to enter might have caused that.
Then she asked if i wanted to do a pap-smear since she was "down there anyway" , i didnt mind.
But actually I dont think there is much reason for me to need a pap smear anyway ? what do you think?
i felt SO much better after. she said everything was fully healed anyway !
Posts: 92 | From: las vegas | Registered: Feb 2010
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posted
Well, I'm a bit confused, because your hymen/corona can't have been FULLY intact if a) you had intercourse, which you expressed you did and b) she did a speculum exam. A *fully* intact hymen would not allow for either of those things.
However, it may be that your hymen is still partially intact, or mostly intact, or that your hymen before all this seemed like it probably was mostly intact, but isn't now. Can you clarify for me?
Now that you are sexually active, you do want to start doing pap smears because there is reason, but you certainly didn't have to do it that day.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63296 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
she didnt say exactly how in tact it was. she just said "in tact"
i didnt mind doing the pap smear anyway since she could reach my cervix.
im worried this will cause issues when we have sex again. is it likely there will be more bleeding?
Posts: 92 | From: las vegas | Registered: Feb 2010
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posted
Again, if she could do a speculum exam, it wasn't fully intact. Ultimately, I'm going to be of limited use with some of your questions about this because I'm still confused.
To be clear, the hymen wears away gradually over time. If you have your period, if you can have intercourse and a speculum exam of any kind, it's not fully intact. And many women have partial hymens, and that really isn't any kind of issue. So, without clearer information from you about what she said and meant, it's tough to suss this out.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63296 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63296 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
Because most women your age will have partially intact hymens where some of it is visible.
And because there being any amount of hymen doesn't give us any information about bleeding: some women with partially intact hymens will have bleeding with intercourse, others (most women, regardless of the state of their hymen), will not.
So, it sounds to me like this may have zippo to do with your hymen at all, especially since she seems to have been saying the abrasion that was present was inside your vagina.
if THAT is the case, that suggests that a) you perhaps needed lubricant you didn't use, and/or b) you needed to be more fully aroused first, and/or c) your partner was perhaps just too rough. And those things are all things you both can control. So, if the bleeding was due to those, then yes, so long as you make changes there, you likely can avoid the bleeding.
However, if it's not about that stuff, or perhaps even if it is, bleeding is just something that might happen now and then: it's never something we can promise that if someone does X, Y or Z thing, will absolutely not happen. Know what I mean?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63296 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
thats true. Im thinking the next time we do have sex im going to take TOTAL control and make sure we do it exactly when im extremely aroused and with tons of lube.
and maybe i'll even do some self masturbation as foreplay , and maybe even bring in some toys... just because i REALLY do not want a repeat incident.
im starting to get slightly hung up about intercourse and might just want to stick back with manual and oral sex for a while
but im just SO hung up about having intercourse now. i feel kinda stressed out about it : (
posted
Well, you shouldn't need to take "total control" in a partnership, b/c that should be shared between people. And sharing control should include a partner ASKING you if you're aroused enough, if you want any given thing s/he is about to do before they do it. It should also involve you speaking up about what you want and don't, and what your body feels ready for at a given time.
Do you want to talk about your hang-ups right now? Is this just still about the bleeding?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63296 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
yeah its just mostly just about the bleeding.
it scares the crap out of both of us when it happens. I totally when into panic mode and i could see the panic in his eyes even though he tried to hold it together.
im just so worried that it would happen again and that i'll be even more upset and worried about sex in general
lol ok i guess that came out wrong. Yes of course i'll ask him about it. However somtimes i estimate wrongly how "aroused " my body is. I guess it takes more for me to get to that point, the first time we had sex i masturbated first and had an orgasm. that may have helped a lot.
Posts: 92 | From: las vegas | Registered: Feb 2010
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posted
Okay. Let's see if we can't unpack some of this. If the way I'm writing sounds a bit basic, forgive me, but I just want to try and be clear.
Our bodies involve various fluids: sweat, tears, saliva, lymph, blood, ejaculate, lubrication, et cetera.
When we become sexually intimate with someone, on top of sharing our skin with them, or certain parts of our bodies, fluids are often exposed and shared (or protected against fluid-sharing with condoms or other barriers for safety).
Vaginal bleeding is no less acceptable a body fluid that may be present and seen by all than male ejaculate is. It's just as normal, and it does make an appearance with sex sometimes, be that with menstrual periods or minor injuries.
Do you feel like you both can accept that?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63296 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
yes we can accept that, just not at the amount there was ... plus he's always quite concerned if there's any vaginal bleeding (even if its slight) if its not my period .
that was a lot , like a profuse amount. its was just horrific, i guess time will heal my concerns and once we eventually have sex again properly without any incidents i'll b completely fine.
Posts: 92 | From: las vegas | Registered: Feb 2010
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posted
So, can you tell him that sometimes bleeding DOES occur during sex with partners that is not a period, and that while sometimes it is cause for big concern, at other times it is not?
Initially, you'd said it was like bleeding from a heavy period, no? If so, that's really not a profuse amount. Certainly, when that's not a period it suggests an injury, but I'd still not use "horrific" to describe an incident that wasn't painful, where no one purposefully harmed anyone else, where you didn't have to go to the ER, etc.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63296 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
thats true. i ned to just calm down, i always tend to think myself into worrying or unnecessary anxiety .
yeah i guess i have to reassure him more. But sometime when he fingers me there is a tiny amount of blood as well. most likely from his nails or being too rough...though it never hurts.
thanks so much for all your help over the last few days! : D really you eased my concerns a lot. you are a life saver, and i really appreciate what you do and your invaluable site.
I think for now its best i just stop thinking about the matter. I'll let you know when i have other concerns but i hope this one will be laid to rest.
Posts: 92 | From: las vegas | Registered: Feb 2010
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-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63296 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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