Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Very worried...

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Very worried...
fante
Neophyte
Member # 44280

Icon 1 posted      Profile for fante     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Dear Scarleteen,

My period is now late for a day or so, and I would like to know if my worry on a risk of pregnancy is correct or just plain paranoia.

I have never engaged in vaginal sex activities with my boyfriend. No penetration, no rubbing, no nothing.

However, we have performed mutual masturbation and so. As far as I remember, every time he came, I made we both wash our hands with water and soap... so I know he never put his fingers near me when they were dirty with fresh semen.

Also, he has never fingered me (inserted his fingers inside my vagina) nor rubbed his fingers directly in my opening... i always had, at least, my underpants on.

Still, I am concerned. what if his hands were dirty with some precum (because one is cannot be ALWAYS sure of that) when he touched me? what if I touched something he touched (like doorknob, bedsheets?) before of the washing of his hands and then, somehow, touched my vagina (like in wiping and so?). what if his hands had a little drop or dried semen?

Before I was ABSOLUTELY certain that I always wash my hands, but now that I am so worried I seem to be forgetting things I was so sure of before (or creating situations, making a huge mess in my recollections of situations).

And what's getting me more worried is the fact that I haven't experienced PMS signs (like pain in my breasts, terrible mood).

What is my risk?

Thanks for the attention,
Fante

Posts: 7 | From: Brazil | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You don't seem to be describing ANYTHING which presents a risk of pregnancy. Really. We just do not have to worry about things like people touching doorknobs and transferring semen.

Form time to time, our cycles will shift, and that can also include shifts in what we feel like leading up to our periods or during periods. As well, it's pretty typical for periods not to always arrive on the exact day we expect them.

Lastly, stressing out can impact your period. So, best bet? Try to relax. You really have not described any risk of pregnancy here.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fante
Neophyte
Member # 44280

Icon 1 posted      Profile for fante     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
thanks for the quick reply. it was so quick =D

is just that sex is so scary, everyone talking about how pregnancy when you are young is something that ruins our lives.

so i get super scared when I am in contact with semen or precum or whatever.

my period sometimes shifts, and it always freaks me out. i try to get my bf to use a condom, but for masturbation seems a little weird.

anyway, now that I have your answer, I will relax and sleep better. this will help my period to come.

thanks for the peace of mind.

best regards,
Fante

Posts: 7 | From: Brazil | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You know, if you feel that scared about it, it might be that right now just isn't the right time for you to be having any kind of sex.

Do you feel like it's the right time for you? Do you find you feel good about what kinds of sex you do have, not just during, but afterwards? Or, rather, do you find you're worrying all the time?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fante
Neophyte
Member # 44280

Icon 1 posted      Profile for fante     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
it does feel good after all, during, afterwards. i like it, it turns me on and I really do want to take it up to another step, the full sex act, like all other people do.

however, when it is around the time of my period, i start to get worried... it was coming regularly, not on the same day (but around the same time) and i felt safe. but this month, it is late and I didn't get my usual PMS signs... that's why I got worried so much more than the other months.

before it was like a flag! PMS -> no risk, just relax that the month's period will come. but this month, no pms + late = worried senseless. I guess, as I said before, that in my mind I started looking for flaws in the hand washing, in the touching of body parts. I guess my mind will be clear now and I won't be searching for/inventing mistakes.

I have talked to my mother before, she gave me instructions and all... she made me feel safe about sexual situations such as the current one I have with my boyfriend. but I don't know what is it, this constant worry about the time of the month near my period. some subliminal catholic guilt, maybe...

best regards,
Fante

Posts: 7 | From: Brazil | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, intercourse is no more "full sex" than any other kinds of sex, just so you know. And "all" people don't have intercourse, just like al people don't have anal or oral sex. What kinds of sex we choose to have vary, but sex is sex is sex. It's all kinds of the same thing, and each kind tends to be a lot less different than people who haven't tried them think they are. [Smile]

If where you're at right now feels manageable for you, then great. I'd just make sure you check in now and then be sure that it does. After all, it's not at all fun to worry like this. It's great your mother is a support for you, though!

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fante
Neophyte
Member # 44280

Icon 1 posted      Profile for fante     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
dear experts,

i don't mean to double post or to bump my thread, but it has already been a couple of days and nothing. still can't relax.

to calm myself down, i've read some of your previous answers, and as I could see, then, to be indeed pregnant one would need direct contact of the unprotected genitals or fingers or objects soaked with fresh semen in the vagina (or entrance), right?

i surely did not have any of those situations, fresh semen was never anywhere but my hands, but I always wash...

so, in summary, i don't have to pee on the stick or anything, right?

sorry for bothering further... is just day after day, I sleep less and get more anxious.

Posts: 7 | From: Brazil | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Alice
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 28346

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Alice     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey fante,

Yep, we agree that you did not have a viable pregnancy risk whatsoever. But have you tried taking a pregnancy test for your peace of mind?

Absolutely go read this: Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul.

--------------------
The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you. - B.B. King

Posts: 1180 | From: WA | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
steelers012
Neophyte
Member # 44303

Icon 1 posted      Profile for steelers012     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
dear experts,
i have had these bumps on my penis for as long as i can remember. basically my whole life and every now and then i can squeeze them and stuff comes out like a zit! it freaks me out. i had sex for the first time last year so do you have any idea of what it could be?

Posts: 3 | From: kentucky | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Alice
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 28346

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Alice     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
hey steelers012, please use the New Topic button on the upper right to create a new topic for your question, it will get answered that way.

--------------------
The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you. - B.B. King

Posts: 1180 | From: WA | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fante
Neophyte
Member # 44280

Icon 1 posted      Profile for fante     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
thanks for the article. I've read and I have no symptoms, just my missing period.

i really afraid of the pregnancy test, I'm really trying to just relax and let my period come... but if that doesn't happen, then I'll have to go there.

thank you very much for, once again, listening and helping.

I promise this is the last time i'll bother you folks.

thanks for the help and congratulations for your work here. this website has helped me a lot.

best regards,
fante

Posts: 7 | From: Brazil | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fante
Neophyte
Member # 44280

Icon 1 posted      Profile for fante     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
dear experts, sorry again for what could be called double posting, but my situation changed.

yesterday, I guess my period started. however, unlike all the previous periods in my life, it is brown and doesn't smell like blood.

in fact, yesterday it was some sort of beige color, and only two drops came down. good thing was that they came down on its own... I was walking and they came. now, some more came down when I peed, but it doesn't seem to be flowing out... only when i force it, like when one forces to pee or defecate, a little more of it comes down, enough to leave a stain on the toilet paper.

I've always had some pretty heavy flux, so this is very of weird. and although I know it is common for the blood of a late period to come darker (it looks as some of the blood in the end of my period) it doesn't even smell like blood.

is this my period? i didn't have any sexual activity nor anything that could cause a bleeding, nor anything hurts so I don't think it is an infection.

please answer me once again.

Kind regards,
fante

Posts: 7 | From: Brazil | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 17924

Icon 1 posted      Profile for JamsessionVT     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
This sounds like a period.

You have no risk of pregnancy here, fante. I think everyone who has replied to you has made that pretty clear. Heather asked this question, but I'll ask it again: do you think being sexually active in any way right now is healthy for you? You seem very uncomfortable with the idea of being pregnant (rightfully so) but then you say you are scared to take a pregnancy test.

I don't think you are a pregnant. I'd be willing to bet money on it. [Smile] Please relax, OK?

--------------------
Abbie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Love Us? Keep Us Around by Donating!

Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fante
Neophyte
Member # 44280

Icon 1 posted      Profile for fante     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
yeah, I had ruled pregnancy out already, i was just worried that the delay could be something related to disease or a cyst or something, since the flow was so brown and slow.

but things turned out for the best, experts. my period is now flowing normally, and I fully thank you for all your support and patience!

really really thank you all, your work is best.

best regards,
fante

Posts: 7 | From: Brazil | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3