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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Scared & Embarrased

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Author Topic: Scared & Embarrased
Jill G
Member # 33485

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This is embarrasing for me but I really need the peace of mind... okay so...

My boyfriend and I were messing around the other day. I had just started my period but it wasn't really heavy yet so we just ignored it. [Its important to note at this point that we have both been tested for any commnicable diseases and have only been with one another] So, anyways, he's been wanting to have sex for the last year and I've been putting it off because I am not ready [another issue we have since delt with] but this day a combination of frustration and overemotions from my period and just "being in the moment" caused me to let him just "try to get it in."

It was stupid, I know, but thats not the issue here. My worry is that some of his precum could have gotten into me in the approx. ten seconds we were in a risky position. It hurt REALLY badly so he says he hadly got in at all but I don't know. I just know I am NOT doing that again until I am ready.

Anyways, the moral here... I know I'm not at risk for an STD because we are sure we're clean BUT I'm worried my carelessness lead me to be pregnant because I have heard that if one gets sperm into them during their period they could become pregnant after their cycle by surviving sperm. [But I did have a full cycle that month... its just late in coming this month]

Sorry for the confusing novel, please help!

Posts: 8 | From: NJ | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Just understand that we are always at risk for STIs to some degree: it's just about how much risk. For couples who have never had any other kinds of sexual contact with anyone else, at all, and for couples who have been monogamous for six months or more, used safer sex for the first six months, and have two negative STI screens between them, we can be pretty sure those risks are very low if we remain monogamous. But they are always still there: none of us can be sexually active and be at zero risk of infections.

Per your pregnancy risk, since it was so brief, without full ejaculation, and at the very start of your period, if there was a risk, it was likely very low. But if you want to decrease it further, you can use emergency contraception.

Sounds too like you two need to have a talk about this, and come to a clear agreement about what you really do want and are ready for -- which includes birth control use and safer sex, as well as you really wanting sex, not just to end pressure from him. Okay? If you're sure you're not doing this again until you're ready, then he needs to understand that and not exert ANY pressure on you from here on out.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jill G
Member # 33485

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Thank you for your quick reply!

I hadn't realized we were still at risk to STIs, wow... I had thought at least in that respect I was covered.

Anyways, strangely enough immediatley after I posted this my period started so its all okay, it was to late for emergency contraception anyways as this happened almost a month ago.

And we actually did have a talk after - I talked to my therapist and then to him. He won't pressure me any more and we'll wait until college when I feel less nervous about parental issues and birth control is readily available =)

Anyways, thanks again!

Posts: 8 | From: NJ | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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