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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Please, help me.

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Author Topic: Please, help me.
Mateja1993
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Member # 36284

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I need some help, and soon. I am fourteen years old and me and my boyfriend have been going out for two months. He is my first real boyfriend (first kiss, all that jazz.) and we are both virgins and neither of us want to have sex, but are sexually flustered. We talked about it and compromised with me giving him a hand job and him fingering me. I know this is a dumb statement but, I'm afraid it's going to hurt. Also, what are the risk? I am slightly inept with sex and any form of sexual contact. He wants to do it sometime soon, as do I, but I'm afraid. Please, advice?

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"Music expresses that which cannot be said, but on which it is impossible to be silent."

Posts: 4 | From: CA | Registered: Dec 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cool87
Activist
Member # 29292

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(Welcome to Scarleteen !)

I'm going to link you to some articles we have here on the main site and you're welcome to come back after if you still have anymore questions okay ?

Ready or not: The sex readiness checklist

From OW to WOW ! Demystifying painful intercourse

Safe, sound ,sexy: a safer sex how-to

First intercourse 101

What's the risk ?

So, here you go. [Smile]

[ 12-29-2007, 04:48 AM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mateja1993
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Member # 36284

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Thank you. The help is appreciated. I have another question. Since manual sex is considered being "sexually active" I should have a heath screening, but I don't know how to get one. My mom can't know that I have even thought about doing anything with my boyfriend. We are really close, but she would keep me from seeing my boyfriend and things of that nature. One more question, my boyfriend has rubbed my pirates in the past, but I wore underwear and am not sexually aroused. What is wrong? why don't I et sexual enjoyment from things like this?

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"Music expresses that which cannot be said, but on which it is impossible to be silent."

Posts: 4 | From: CA | Registered: Dec 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
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If you have started menstruating, then it's time to start annual check-ups with your gyn, anyway, so there's no reason not to bring that up with your mother. And anything you say to your gyn will remain confidential. However, if you have such a good relationship with your mother, why not try to be honest with your mother? These things always come out sooner or later, and it's always better to be up front about it.

As for not feeling aroused - whether or not you feel sexually aroused can be affected by whether you're nervous, uncomfortable, or just not in the right mood. So not getting aroused doesn't mean there is anything wrong.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Mateja1993
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Member # 36284

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Thanks. I really don't see the mom thing happening though. She would be so disappointed... I don't want to do that to her. I have my period, but I don't see a gyno, and I don't know how to see one without my mom. I want is the worst thing that could happen? I know I can't get pregnant, but what can happen? I want to think through everything before I do something, It is my body, so I want to know what I'm dealing with...

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"Music expresses that which cannot be said, but on which it is impossible to be silent."

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September
Scarleteen Volunteer
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You can talk to your mom about starting your gyno appointments. I'm sure she can recommend a gyno to you, or help you find one. Starting your annual check-ups does not necessarily mean that you want to become sexually active, those doctor visits are just important for your health in general. You can go to the gyn alone, or ask your mother to wait outside. And everything you say there will be confidential.

And if you do not want to get your mother involved at all, you can get your health care at a clinic such as Planned Parenthood.

Per your other question, I am not sure what you are refering to. YOu are not sure what could happen ... with what? What risk are you thinking of when you're saying you can't be pregnant?

And I suggest you read the articles Cool linked hyou to earlier, as they should really help clear some things up for you.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9166 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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