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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » I Need Peace

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Author Topic: I Need Peace
Nouvelle
Neophyte
Member # 35391

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I've already posted in this section once before, with a situation I thought was a pregnancy risk, but was told that I shouldn't worry about it. But I'm really stressed again and need some help.

Background:

My boyfriend and I have never had intercourse in our lives, and I'm not on birth control. The most we've done is oral sex and masturbating each other. We are very careful that he doesn't touch me (and he doesn't touch me very often, in fact I haven't taken my pants off around him in more than a month) after either of us do ANYTHING with him. AND I always wash my hands after touching him before going near that area of myself.

So why am I posting here?

I'm incredibly paranoid that I may be showing symptoms of pregnancy. Back in mid September we did one risky thing, we were making out on top of each other in our underwear. His penis wasn't directly on my vulva I believe, but I remember seeing a spot of precum on his underwear. I have no idea if it got on me.

I've had two periods since then (the 1st was extremely light I hope due to extreme stress and loss of body fat while I was doing a sport) then second was normal and heavy. However, right now I'm mid-cycle and I feel soreness of my breasts and some stomach pains/back pains.

Can I possibly have been pregnant all this time and have just started feeling it? I've been reading about women who bleed while their pregnant and don't know about their pregnancy for months. I hope this stuff is just because I've had a bad cold for a while and been pressured at school.

Still, I feel sad and depressed 24/7. I want to talk to someone, but there's no on I can open up to about these feelings, this paranoia. Can someone advise me?

Posts: 6 | From: Illinois | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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Member # 5375

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From what you've described you have not had any pregnancy risk. While it is possible to spot while pregnant, it is not possible to have a full period. It's safe to say you are not pregnant.

A couple other things. There are no reliable signs or symptoms of pregnancy other than a positive pregnancy test. Unfortunately, it can be pretty easy to scrutinize our bodies and give too much significance to our normal variations -- especially when we're scared or worried. Given that the very thought of pregnancy causes you this much distress I think it's worthwhile to review your readiness to be sexually active or commit to using contraceptives and safer sex practices every time.

Hope this gives you some peace of mind. If you'd like to discuss some of the things I mentioned we'll be happy to help.

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I would have girls regard themselves not as adjectives but as nouns. --Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nouvelle
Neophyte
Member # 35391

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Thank you so much! I guess every time I look at my body now, I try to find something abnormal, and when I do "find" something I tend to freak out about it, meaning that I don't know if the things that follow (ie stomach aches, other pains) are just manufactured by my own stress.

In terms of birth control, I would love to be on medical bc, but it's not really possible right now. I'm under 18 and from a relatively conservative Catholic family (my boyfriend comes from this background as well), who would never approve of this behavior. Even though I don't share my family's opinions on premarital sex, this leads to a lot of guilt on my part.

Posts: 6 | From: Illinois | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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First, the guilt thing. Even though you don't believe premarital sex is wrong it does appear to be bothering you. I just want to be sure you know it's okay to take a break from sex if that's what you need. The beliefs we grow up with aren't easy to ignore, even if they're nothing we agree with. Take some time to think about how you can be intimate without causing yourself unnecessary stress or guilt.

Have you ever paid close attention to your body when you're not worried that something is wrong? Knowing what's normal for your individual body could save you a lot of grief and is just good to know all around.

Finally, you can obtain hormonal birth control without your parents consent. Clinics such as Planned Parenthood frequently offer a sliding scale to make bc and reproductive health care more affordable. If something like that just isn't an option, condoms are a highly effective form of birth control and are available over the counter. If asking your partner to put one on the next time you're being sexual in any way will ease some stress I think it would be worth it.

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I would have girls regard themselves not as adjectives but as nouns. --Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nouvelle
Neophyte
Member # 35391

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I must be the most idiotic poster here by far.
=(

Sorry for not getting back for so long, I haven't had much access to a computer. But I have another question to ask. On 11/7 My boyfreind requested I get fuly naked before him because he'd never seen me entirely undressed before, so I did. While I was still naked he came up to me a gave me a hug and pressed us together for like 5 secs. He obviously had an erction and I knew from earlier I saw he had a bit of precum soaked through his briefs. He was fully dressed when he did this, w/ jogging pants on.

I feel sick to my stomach about this and the potential risk, and I want to know how I can stop being so stupid all the time.

Posts: 6 | From: Illinois | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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It is not possible for sperm to get through a layer of clothing, especially something as thick as sweat pants.

You know, if you are this consitently worried about situations that have no risk, you may want to reconsider whether now is the time for you to be sexually active.

Jill linked you to some great articles in her post above, but I can link you again, and I really encourage you to check those articles out.

Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist
What's the Risk? Easy Pregnancy Risk Assessments
Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nouvelle
Neophyte
Member # 35391

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Hey, thank you all so much for your help! I appreciate your patience and guidance. I'm trying very hard to make the right changes in my life, and you've aided me quite a bit.
Posts: 6 | From: Illinois | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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