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Author Topic: advice needed
notaclue
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Member # 28610

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hows the goin,
heres the storey 4 weeks ago i went out with my friends, was on holidays, it was the last day of my period, a saturday, my period had started the previous tuesday. The truth is i got a little drunk, kinda typsey, and i met this guy, he took me to the beach. He got a little heavy with me but i managed to control him. The question i have is, wud i no if i had of had sex, wud i remember, wud i have felt pain?? Like i cn remeber wat we were doin but my mind keeps tellin me wat if i had a had sex and didint realize. You see i am a virgin and i dnt no wat it wud feel like.
Now on the sat, i took my first pill of my new pack, after the 7 pill free days, if this guy did have sex with me wud i be ok. My period is due 2moro and im jst so worried, i no ima fool, and to be honest I feel i am a disgrace and feel kinda slutty.
im very worried as i have always been paranoid about geting pregnant, even though im a virgin, its almost become a fearful obsession. please help.
also if this guy did have sex with me, wud that me rape? im jst so confussed.

Posts: 4 | From: Cork | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
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If you did indeed have intercourse, it could be considered rape, because he would have taken obvious advantage of the fact that you were drunk, and you were not in any condition to give sound consent.

Alcohol interferes with our ability to remember events clearly; since it depresses activity in the nervous system, it can also block or lessen pain. We cannot tell you whether or not you had sex. Depending on how intoxicated you were, anything is possible.

You said you were on birth control. If you've been taking the pills correctly, and were on them all while you were on holiday, you shouldn't have to worry about pregnancy.

You are not a slut. You made a mistake. But I DO hope you realize how much more trouble you could have gotten into.

[ 08-14-2006, 08:58 AM: Message edited by: JamsessionVT ]

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Abbie
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notaclue
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Thing is im a very reserved kinda girl, im very strong and i no no matter how drunk i wuda been i wud be strong enough 2 say no 2 sex, im in no rush 4 it, especially with a stranger. I can remeber most of wat happened and i do no he was lyin on top of me, i remeber he wuda been hard and he wuda had his fly open, my underwear was on, and to my knowledge they never came off, mayb just had a come down a bit but werent off, i also had tights on. he did try 2 finger me, but i told him 2 stop. it was wen he grapped my arms and held them tightly above my head i got worried and told him 2 stop. I got upset and warned him nt 2 take advantage of me.
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JamsessionVT
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quote:
Originally posted by notaclue:
Thing is im a very reserved kinda girl, im very strong and i no no matter how drunk i wuda been i wud be strong enough 2 say no 2 sex

Well, no, you wouldn't have. You may be a very strong person, but no matter how strong you are alcohol can still impair you. Alcohol messes with coordination and balance, so physically, depending on how much you drank, you could have been rendered totally helpless to anyone who was willing to take advantage of that. Scary thought, but that is what happens when you mix alcohol and sex. Alcohol also impairs speech and slows thinking, so even there, you ability to say "no" could be significantly effected.

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Abbie
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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
notaclue
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I completly understand where ur coming from, how did i let this happen, i am so ashammed.
Im 20 years of age and ud think I had more cop on.
Today, tuesday im due my period, it hasnt come, and im worried. I have been on the pill now 4 around 2 years and i have always taken it every day, i never indended taken it for contraception porposes, just to help regulate my periods. Thing is I started taken it the same time every day (well try) 4 the past couple of months, ya c i work shift work, including nights and especially on nights its hard to take it at the same time.
4 the past say 3 months i was geting my period on the tuesday of the pill free week, before that i used to get it on a saturday. If i was to take a pregnancy test wud u recommend today or 2 wait a few days?
This incident happened on a sat night, sunday morning. That sat i had taken my pill, as it wud of been the start day 4 a new pack, wud this pill and of course the ones after, which i took roughly the same time have stopped pregnancy happening as i wuda got more fertile as the days went on?
My head is messed up at the moment, i dont even no if im not a virgin anymore, 2 be honest I think nothing happened but i dont now if my mind is playing major games with me.
Tank u so much 4 responding, its nice to be able to share problems with some1.
Please help xx

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JamsessionVT
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So, let me get this straight, you have been taking the pill for 4 years, but not always at the same time each day, because it was only to regulate your periods, correct? So you HAVE NOT been taking consistently around the same time?

You can take a pregnancy test today. It doesn't matter, because the incident happened 4 weeks ago. You need to wait 10-14 days after the risk to take a test, and it's been much longer than that. I would say you don't need to take one, but because you haven't been taking your pills at the same time each day, even after 4 years I don't know how effective they'd be at preventing pregnancy. You'd definetly have some protection, but it is compromised by the fact that you haven't been taking them at the same time.

[ 08-15-2006, 07:51 AM: Message edited by: JamsessionVT ]

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Abbie
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-Jill
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To clarify, how close do you get to the same time? If it's within two or three hours everyday you should be protected.

The pill does become less effective when you take it at dramatically different times. If you've been taking it outside of that two or three hour window then they may not offer nearly as much protection from unwanted pregnancy as they would when taken more consistently.

Mostly though, I hope you no longer spend time with that guy. Attempting to restrain you is never, ever acceptable behavior, nor should you have to tell someone not to take advantage of you. He does not sound like someone safe to be with or someone worth your time.

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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