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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » I'm really scared.

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Author Topic: I'm really scared.
*Misty*
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On the 13th of February, I got my period and it lasted till the 18th. On the 19th, my boyfriend and I had unprotected sex. We got a little scared and as mentioned to me on Scarleteen once before I took the EC pill. However, when the same thing happened to me the first time, I mentioned to Scarleteen that I am residing in a country in which EC is illegal and therefore one of the advocates told me to take 4 pills of Microgynon 30 in 2 doses which I did this time as well on the 19th itself. However, yesterday, I noticed that I was spotting but didnít take much notice of it but this morning when I checked I had a heavy flow like a normal menstrual period and I have been bleeding heavily since. Iím really really scared because on the Microgynon 30 leaflet, it says to consult a doctor if I have menstrual bleeding.
I donít know what to do as I canít talk to a doctor in the country that I am living in as it is illegal to have sex here unless you are married regardless of whether your 21 or 51 and I will have to tell them everything. Also, I donít know how secure the doctor-patient confidentially is here.

Iím still bleeding and Iím petrified. If someone could give me some advice on what to do and whether what is happening to me is normal that would be such a relief.

Thank you so much.


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LilBlueSmurf
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Okay, what is happening to you is normal. When some women take EC, sometimes they experience some bleeding.

Do you remember who told you to take this last time? this site says to take 4 pills now, and 4 pills later. I can't tell from your post if you took 2 pills twice or 4 pills twice.

Either way, do not take anymore pills. Since you are bleeding now, your body could not maintain a pregnancy anyway.

And now ... I have to ask. What the heck are you doing? You're having unprotected sex in a country which does not allow unwed sex (not that i agree with this; this is not the point) and where you cannot receieve adequate healthcare as a result. You need to STOP before you get yourself into even more trouble.


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*Misty*
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Thank you so much. You have no idea how much youíve helped.

I took 4 pills first and then 4 pills later. It was someone called Ashley, I think who told me earlier.

However, I'm experiencing lower abdominal pains and slight headaches. I also feel a little dizzy. Is that normal?

And as for me having unprotected sex, it was silly and I shouldnít have done it. My boyfriend and I have always had protected sex and I can't say this was an isolated incident because it wasn't. It was the second time BUT I know what I did was really stupid and Iíve learned my lesson.

One last question: Will EC decline my chances of getting pregnant in the future and do you think that it has done any damage to my stomach i.e. my ovaries etc.?

Thank you so much.

[This message has been edited by *Misty* (edited 02-25-2006).]


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LilBlueSmurf
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If the abdominal pains or headache become severe, you should see your doctor.

EC will not decrease your chances of getting pregnant in the future.


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*Misty*
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I'm getting a little dizzy as I type this.

Is that normal or should I see a doctor asap?


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LilBlueSmurf
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Go lay down. Let someone know that you're not feeling well and to come check on you every few minutes. You don't have to tell them WHY, but you do have to tell them. If it gets worse, see your doctor.
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*Misty*
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I did go with my mum to see a gyno today. However, I did not tell either one of them about the EC. The gyno asked for me to take an ultrasound and to see her again which I am going to do tomorrow.
She did prescribe me to take some pills for 15 days called "Duphaston". She asked me to continue taking them even after my bleeding.

I was wondering if it would be dangerous for me to take them seeing that I did take Microgynon 30 sometime back and also the gyno didn't know that I did and all she knew was that I had another period a week after my first.

Thanks and I'm feeling much better.


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Heather
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Who prescribed the Microgynon 30 for you? (And what country, exactly, are you in? I ask that because your ISP is European, and the EU Human Rights Convention and doctor-patient confideniality should not make unmarried sex an issue for you in this regard.) I ask, because that is a birth control pill, so someone has to already know you're having sex.

I would suggest you not use the Duphaston, if you are unwilling to be honest with your doctor. Likely, you were prescribed that because your bleeding was seen as unexplained, when we know it's not unexplained: it is likely because of the EC. It's yet one more synthetic hormone, and your body doesn't need more, especially not when some bleeding is a normal side effect of EC.

If, however, you want to take it, I would say calling the GYN and being honest is not optional. As well, if the bleeding continues with or without over more than say, the next week, you are going to need to be honest, period. if you won't be, there isn't a thing we can do for you.

Obviously, too, you NEED to get yourself in a position where you can be honest with your healthcare provider, period. And also obviously, you need to have a serious talk with your partner and make clear that these risks absolutely cannot happen again. TWO of you make choices here, not just you. Part of partnership is about partners helping each other with sound, safe choices per their self-care, so even if you are about to do something stupid, your partner should be supporting you and making clear it IS stupid, and supporting you in being smarter.


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*Misty*
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The person who prescibed the Micorgyno 30 was a person from Scarleteen called Ashy, I think but that was because the last time this happened the condom came off as my boyfriend was withdrawing from me.

I reside in the Dubai (UAE) not in europe thats why I'm not sure about doctor-patient confidentiality.

As for safe sex, my boyfriend was completely against it having sex without a condom but it was me who pushed for it. I was really really stupid and let temptation get the better of me. I feel really bad cause not only have I put myself in this position but my boyfriend as well.

As for the Daphoston, I won't take it.

However, I am going for my ultrasound tomorrow. I'm not really sure what its going to be expect, so I was wondering if someone could help. Also, will it show that I had unprotected sex on the 19th.

I'm sorry for all the trouble but I honestly didn't know who to turn to.

[This message has been edited by *Misty* (edited 02-26-2006).]

[This message has been edited by *Misty* (edited 02-26-2006).]


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Heather
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Our volunteers don't prescribe anything and cannot do so: we can only suggest you look into obtaining a prescription. By prescribe, I mean through whom did you OBTAIN those pills, as they are not available over-the-counter: in other words, you would have ither been asking for EC or BC, so some doctor and pharmacist had to have known you were sexually active or were planning to be. I'm also a bit confused as to why you went to a GYN when your major complaint was dizziness and headache.

An ultrasound will not show you had sex unless you are pregnant. I'm guessing the only reason the ultrasound was suggested, again, is due to your doctor having the idea that your vaginal bleeding is unexplained. (And I'm a little surprised they didn't do bloodwork, too.)

Here's the thing: I am sympathetic to living in a country or location in which you do not have total ownership of your body, in which you do not have sound human rights. Absolutely. I am infuriated that there is any place in the world which okays sex for women, but only if they are considered to be a man's personal property. Absolutely.

But you've gotten yourself into quite a pickle here with all the lying, even though I understand it was out of fear.

Obviously, while again, your partner still made the choice he did (and for himself, he should have been smart enough to tell you to be okay with a condom, or to sod off, flatly, for pushing to endanger you both in this way -- in all honestly, if your partner was the one posting here, I would be telling he or she to split up with you, because clearly, you are endanger them) by pushing for something you KNEW was both illegal and unwise you have put your health and well-being and his well-being in danger. He and you both have put him at risk of incarceration, and you, possibly, at risk of some serious community or cultural backlash. Fear didn't keep you from that, nor him. And while, again, I know full well men in UAE countires have waaaaay more agency and power than women, so this was still far more his choice than your in one regard, in another, pushing anyone, of any gender, to do something sexual they do not want to do IS abusive.

So, what do I suggest at this point? A big talk with your partner as to how you are both going to handle this: what he thinks, what you think, how you can both manage the choices you both made. To do the most damage control, I'd also cancel the ultrasound, UNLESS you are still heavily bleeding. Again, vaginal bleeding after EC is common and normal.

However, if you ARE still heavilty bleeding, it's time to fess up and deal. Your doctor SHOULD respect your confidentiality -- and from what I can find, in the UAE, they do still have that obligation -- but even if he or she does not, you could be looking at a very real health emergency here, and your health and life are not less important than your partners. Your health and life are worth the year in jail he may be looking at, in a worst-case scenario (from a review of your laws) should your doctor not respect your confidentiality: but someone, who prescribed the EC/BC before, respected it once. I'd say now that taking that risk, if you are still having heavy bleeding or other health problems, is even more important.

(FYI, have you also been managing this stress well, still eating ight, caring for yourself? In another post, you mentioned you had low blood sugar, so some of these symptoms may be due to not managing that well right now.)

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 02-26-2006).]


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*Misty*
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Microgynon 30 is actually available over the counter here.

I didn't just go to the doctor for headaches and dizziness but also abdominal pains.

I'm really really scared now. My bleeding has condsiderably lessened almost to the point where it's just slight spotting now.
My mum is still taking me for the ultrasound however. And they did take a bloodtest, but that was for my hemoglobin levels.

Will the ulrasound reveal that I have taken EC?


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Heather
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No, the ultrasound will not, but the bloodwork -- if they're looking in a general way -- might.

So, again, I'd just suggest having a serious talk with your partner right now about the ways you two might handle this. I think you do have to be prepared at this point for possible discovery, regardless. And obviously, as an advocate for young adult health, I'm still going to encourage you to be honest with your doctor. You can have he or she ask your mother to leave the office to do so.

(If the BCPs were available OTC, btw, you took a way bigger discovery risk in buying those. A pharmacy worker is NOT required to keep anything confidential in that respect. So, just bear that in mind: you have already disclosed sexual activity to someone far more risky than your doctor.)

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 02-26-2006).]


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