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Author Topic: seriously disturbing . . and very weird
oOo Lea oOo
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I have a serious problem and it is really getting to me.

Does anyone remember me posting about a guy who was madly inlove with me? He goes to the restauraunt/bar i hang out at every Wednesday, he calls my cell 10 times a day, he figured out my house number (which I still do not know how in the world he got that) and NOW he knows where I live. I am getting my car serviced this weekend. He called me and told me he wanted to meet me there and I could come to his place bc his parents are gone and he wanted to watch a movie or "do something bad". ICK! he sent me flowers on valentine's day! I can not get rid of this guy! For a while I thought he got the hint. I didnt answer his calls, nothing. He comes to my work with his brother and talks to me. I do business with his brother bc he is a contractor and is going to do some building for my department. I can't get him to leave me alone. My boyfriend was looking at my pictures on my cell yesterday and when he opened it up I saw that i had a missed call from this guy. I jerked it out of his hands.. It looked really suspicious but I have to sneak in and erase them bc my boyfriend gets mad at me. He thinks something is up when the guy calls all the time. He doesnt understand how someone would call 10 times a day and fill my voicemail and inbox with messages saying "hey baby just wanted to see how you were..call me.. (or in some cases text me) love ya! " and not be some what of an interest to me! How do i get rid of this psycho. His mom is one of my bosses and I am afraid I will get fired bc she thinks I am his gf. She hated me, but now she loves me to death. I am so confused. What do I do? What can I say to either of them to make my bf believe me and make him go AWAY!

Oh, and he also calls my work everyday a bunch too and I am geting re - evaluated because I have been showing "bad behavior" by being on the phone and missing calls trying to deal with him! Also because he comes by all the time. Everyone at work thinks he is my bf too. His best friend works with me and I feel like i am under a microscope!

I have even told my dept. head that I absolutely am mortified by this guy! That he ISNT my boyfriend, and that he is STALKING me! They think I am being humorous.

I am worried about Saturday! I have to go! I missed last weekend and I need an oil change and Also there was a recall that they are supposed to fix. I can't wait another weekend! I was thinking I could take my boyfriend, but Would that be a good idea, considering this guy thinks he is my bf and my boyfriend thinks I am cheating. Also I don't want to cause a scene at the dealership. I know my boyfriend will be furious. If I tell him that this guy plans on coming, my boyfriend will insist that he goes. Is that a good or bad idea?

I have told a friend about my situation, she knows exactly what is going on but she thinks it is cute how he could be so inlove with me and actually think I am his gf. Now, I am not sure that his is the most mature way to settle this, it seems very childish, but she told me to pretend to break up with him. I am not big on lies, but if he thinks I am dating him, could I simply pretend to end our "relationship"? A bit dumb, I know, but is it a possibility?

I have been searching for a possibilty on this as well and if someone can find info before me it would be greatly appreciated, but isnt an emergency. Can I somehow block his calls on my cell and house phone without him knowing they are blocked. I dont want to cause a scene with his mother in fear of loosing my job.

I am so worried. I am so very sorry for going on and on!I see my therapist in 3 days but until then can someone please give me some advice to atleast keep me sane until then! This site has helped me so much! You all do such a wonderful job at this, and really I am completely horrified. Thank you so much!

[This message has been edited by oOo Lea oOo (edited 02-17-2006).]


Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
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Member # 139

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Stalking is a crime. It isn't fun, and frankly, it's dangerous.

Document everything. Don't erase the messages off your cellphone. Lodge a complaint against this person with your work, and definantly take your boyfriend with you to the dealership. If anything happens, it will be in a public place.

Please, involve your local authorities. This infatuation is not healthy for him nor you, and it's beginning to affect all aspects of your life. Please, call the police.

I highly recommend seeking a restraining order. If that doesn't get the message across, nothing will.


Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
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I went on saturday, and as I expected the guy called 6 times while I was there. He didn't show up. The first few times he called we missed them. (my boyfriend, my cousin, and I) We were inside filling out paperwork for a rental car for the day. The 4th or 5th time he called my boyfriend picked up the phone. The guy hung up. My boyfriend called him back and the guy didn't answer. Then a bout an hour later, the guy called back. My boyfriend answered the phone and told him not to call back. After we got a car, we drove to my work. I got into my office and we searched the net. We found out anything we could about restraining orders, etc. My text inbox and voice mail box are filled with old messages. I am going to meet with a state trooper at my house tonight. He is a friend of the family and we are going to ask if it would be appropriate for him to sit at the bar/restaraunt tomorrow night when I am there (not in uniform just casually eating dinner) to see if the guy shows up. My dad is changing our phone number and I am doing the same with my cell. I am considering transferring to a different department so i don't have to deal with the guys mom, bro, or his friend anymore. Hopefully this will solve all of this. I am just tired of running from people. I've done it several times. It's got me a nervous wreck. Thanks for your advice! I just needed someone to turn to at that time. I am going crazy over this! I mean, I can't feel safe any place I go. I am going to stay with my obyfriend for a while. he lives in the neighborhood I do but the guy has no idea where it is, atleast I hope not!
Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
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Congratulations on contacting authorities, and I'm so glad you have your support around you.

It will take some time for the paranoia to go away. My boyfriend was stalked last year, and he's still overly cautious about it, and that's okay.

Best of luck to you, and please keep us posted.


Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
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Thanks! I am definitely paranoid. Hopefully he comes tonight. It is kind of freaky either way. I want him to come so my trooper friend can see him and how he acts around me. But then again, I will fell watched and uncomfortable the whole time I am there. Hopefully it works out for the best, though. If I knew it would help in this case, I would gladly feel uncomfortable for the day.

I told him about my past situation with a stalker, and how it was tied to my rape, and although it was extremely hard to spit out, I am glad I spoke up about it. Now he takes this matter even more serious knowing that I have dealt with this type of behavior before. He is afraid that this obsession could lead to something more severe, and so am I. I will definitely keep you posted and thank you for your support


Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Beppie
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Glad to hear you're taking some action-- I also wanted to say that you should also let your boyfriend know, if he gets jealous and does not believe you, that this is really unacceptable, unsupportive behaviour. It sounds from your post that he now believes your side of the story, but if you have problems again, you really need to make it clear that you are not responsible in any way for this guy's actions, and that you deserve better than suspicion and lack of support.
Posts: 2710 | From: Australia | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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