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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Will someone please help me? I'm scared to do what I have to do.

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Author Topic: Will someone please help me? I'm scared to do what I have to do.
My_Bloody_Masquerade
Neophyte
Member # 25789

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Okay. I'm 16 years old and I'm bi. I know I'm bi, I've known for 3 years, but I've also been hiding it from my mother for 3 years and I can't lie to her about who I am anymore. It's hurting everyone involved and I just want to stop living with this charade. I don't know how or when to tell her, because I'm her only child and it will kill her. She's also very homophobic, which doesn't put me in a good light in her eyes. I know for a fact that she'll end up kicking me out and I don't want that to happen...I'm desprerately seeking advice... from anyone who understands and is willing to help me out... thanks.
Posts: 3 | From: wendell, N.C., U.S.A. | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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There are a lot of things to think about when you want to "come out." One of them is SAFETY. If you truly believe that you're going to get kicked out, then it is NOT safe for you to come out. A lot of people want to come out to the whole world, but frankly, he whole world isn't ready for them. Instead, you have to work your way up, telling only the people you trust most because you're gonna need a lot of support.

So why must you disclose to your mother right now? It's just an honest question. How do you feel about hiding your orientation?

Have you read: Don't Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out (Or: How to Come Out of the Closet Without Tripping Over the Laundry)? if not, then you oughtta give it a looksie.

Anyway, in short, you need to be in a safe place before you can come out to your mom. Right now, you're not safe. Maybe when you're old enough to establish yourself on your own, it will be better. Do you have anther parent? Relative? someone you can get support from first so you can gently break it to your mom. your mother needs to understand that you need support, and it may require the help of another adult to mediate the deal.

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Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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