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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Was I Raped? Am I Pregant?

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Author Topic: Was I Raped? Am I Pregant?
x0blazinshawty0x
Neophyte
Member # 12817

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I was at my friend's house on the 31st of January 31, 2OO3. I knew her brother was sexually active but I don't think higly of myself and I didn't think that I would be a victim that night. My friend and I were goofing around while her brother and his friend were playing video games. We went into the kitchen to get something to drink so her brother had her and his friend leave the room. Then he sat me on his lap and was like, "You're coming to my room when my sister goes to sleep, right?" and I felt as if I were forced to say yes. So I said "If you want me too" and then he tried to finger me. I wouldn't let him. And then I went to the bathroom to wash my face and he came in and said "Lay down" and then he said "Take off your pants" so I did. I was afraid of what was going to happen. So we had sex. Then I went on the couch with his sister and to go back asleep but I couldn't sleep. And then he came back upstairs and whispered my name and dumbass me jerked my head up to look at him. Then he waved his hand for me to go to him so I did. We went downstairs and had sex again in his sister's bed. And then we went to his room and he said, "Come on" and he brought a blanet with him and we did it again. Then we watched more TV. Then we went back on the couch and then he wanted me to give him a blowjob. So I did. Then he came out and was like "Give Jeff a blowjob. I said no. And he was like, please?!? It'll be his first!" And I was like "He's 18 and never had a blojob?!?" and he was like "Yea. Do it." So I said ok. So I gave him one and that was that. I went upstairs and sat on the chair because a cat took my space on the couch. I felt so violated and scared that I could be pregnant. Am I? It was unprotected. It was my first time. I have my periods regularly. But still....I'm terrified. Please help!
Posts: 1 | From: Warren, Ohio, USA | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Here's the tough thing, love. Legally, technically, you weren't raped because you agreed to do everything you did without threats and accepted invitation to do so. In other words, it'd be nearly impossible for you to make a rape case with this.

But. In my book, if you were coerced into sex you were not interested in having, that's sexual assault in terms of what happened and how you're feeling right now. You were, indeed, victimized, in part by these guys, and in part by your own unwillingness to say no and to blindly participate.

If you've had periods since then, you are not pregnant. You did however also have STD and STI risks, and should get tested now. When you do that, I'd suggest you ask for some sexual assault support from whatever clinic you go to: you need it, it'll help you deal with this, and if there is a possibility to make a case, you can find that out.

Lastly: sugar, stay away from these people. Big time. And learn to say no when no is the answer you want to give. It's something everyone has GOT to learn to do to survive in this world as a whole, healthy person. If you find your self-esteem is that low, it's time to look into some counseling so you can get to the point where you aren't endangering yourself. That does NOT mean this was your fault -- do understand that. It wasn't.

But it means that you can develop some skills to keep this sort of thing from ever happening again.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 04-27-2003).]


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lemming
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33

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Miz Scarlet has given you some excellent advice.

I would, however, note one thing: if you were below the age of consent in your state, you would indeed have the basis for bringing some kind of charges.

The age of consent can be found here: http://www.ageofconsent.com/ohio.htm

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Laurel Lemming
Scarleteen Advocate

"Maypole/The ties that bind you will unwind/To free me one day/And everything decays..." - XTC, "The Wheel and the Maypole"


Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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