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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » what to do?

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Author Topic: what to do?
munkyvader10
Neophyte
Member # 11767

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My boyfriend and I became sexually active on the 14th of January. We had sex on the 14th and then went and got the 72 hour pill. I was stressed and freaked out that I could be pregnant. A week after the first time(of which we both lost our virginity) I felt cramps and hard pains down in my lower stomach. We had sex again later that week and then I became even more paranoid that I may be pregnant. We didn't use the 72 hour pill this time and he pulled out. Both times we used condoms and they didn't break or tear. I got my period about the monday after we had sex for the second time and it was very heavy compared to other periods, and i had unusally bad cramps. About two days after my period we had sex again. We also used a condom this time an dhe pulled out before ejaculation. I have very bad stomach pains right now and I always feel paranoid and scared that I may be pregnant. We didn't use the 72 hour pill the third time. We tried a side ways position and me on top of him this time instead of missionary and he hit something pretty hard both times and now i'm really getting horrible pains in my stomach and shooting pains in my lower stomach near where i'm thinking my cervix would be. Help, is there any chance I could be pregnant? And are those pains just because we tried new things and he hit my cervix(i'm guessing)????? What should I do? Thanks for your time
Posts: 7 | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

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It doesn't sound like you have a pregnancy risk -- using condoms correctly is an adequate form of birth control. However, withdrawal while wearing a condom is unnecessary.

Also, relying on "symptoms" such as stomach pains is a very good way to drive yourself crazy. The only reliable symptom of pregnancy is a positive pregnancy test.

Yes, it could very well be your cervix that was bumped. However, horrible shooting pains could be a signal that something is wrong -- you may wish to call your gyne.

Finally, why not read through these articles:
What's The Risk? - Five Easy Pregnancy Risk Assessment Flow Charts
Ready or Not? –The Readiness Checklist
A Simple Condom Primer
Pink Parts – Female Sexual Anatomy


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alaska
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1896

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...and while you're at your gyno getting those pains checked out, how about asking about a reliable method of contraception that you will use with the condoms? Condoms are a great method of contraception because they also lower your STD transmission risk, but teaming them up with a second reliable method is -obviously better. It's not advisable at all to use emergency contraception unless it really is an emergency - and when you used a condom correctly, there quite simply is no such emergency.

There are plenty of options as to what you can use, check out Margaret Sanger’s Disneyland - An easy chart of your birth control options and discuss with your doc what might be right for you.

Finally, it's just my impression munky, but if you are this freaked out about pregnancy, even though you have used condoms correctly at all times, it might be worth to sit down again and think about whether you are ready for being sexually active. It's fine to be scared of getting pregnant, but one part of being ready is having a plan of what to do should you get pregnant. - However, you seem so very stressed out about this, that I wonder whether you feel "like it's worth" it. - Just give it some thought. It's perfectly okay to find being sexually active and its consequences too stressful and taking a break from it again.

------------------
Caro
~Scarleteen Sexpert~


Spike: (In response to being asked to fight a troll) "I would, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much."


Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
munkyvader10
Neophyte
Member # 11767

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Thank you very much for all of your input. You're right. I'm not ready for sex. I talked to my boyfriend about it and he told me he doesn't feel that we should do anything anymore either becuase It changes our relationship and makes me really paranoid and scared all the time and that he just wants to be with me. He doesn't care about sex, and I think that it's great. I told him I didn't feel I was ready and he totally respects my decision. So we're not having sex anymore and I don't have to worry ...I am going to take that pregnancy test though, just to be sure. Thank you very much for all of your input
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Good on both of you: for being able to have that talk, make sound choices for both of you, and for working it out with care.
Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alaska
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1896

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...and I got to second what Heather said here: Good on you and your partner, munky.
Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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