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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » My friend just told me...

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Author Topic: My friend just told me...
Member # 11135

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My friend just called me ten minutes ago and told me she was raped by her boyfriend. He said his dick just "fell out of his boxers" she asked him to stop, and he didn't. She was a virgin and waiting till marriage to have sex. I'm one of two people who know. She told me not to tell anyone, and she doesn't want to talk about it, but her boyfriend can't get away with this, and I'm not sure what to do.. do I tell someone who can help?

Advice please

Posts: 36 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33

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Call her, tell her not to shower or bathe, and to take herself and any clothes or other physical evidence to the emergency room as SOON as possible.

And you can be there for her, and go with her, and let her know that you will be there for her - but keeping this a secret only benefits him.

Time is of the essence here, if she is willing to prosecute.

Laurel Lemming
Scarleteen Advocate

"Maypole/The ties that bind you will unwind/To free me one day/And everything decays..." - XTC, "The Wheel and the Maypole"

Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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This article may be helpful as well: Dealing with Rape.
Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 11135

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Thanks, the rape didn't happen today, but she just told me today. She's still crying. Which is understandable, it's only been a few days. She doesn't want to prosecute, at least now, and I don't think she realizes now is when she has to do it. I can't talk to her about it, I tried and she said she didn't want to talk about it and went for a ride in her car. I feel sorry for her, and she knows I'm there for her, but I don't feel comfortable bringing it up anymore, even though she really should go to the police or a hospital. I can't make her do that, and I don't feel it's right to talk about something she isn't comfortable talking about. The worst thing is she isn't sure she's breaking up with her boyfriend yet. Because she was naked with him, she doesn't think it "is" rape. They had set up limits beforehand. He KNEW she was waiting till marriage, and they had engaged in oral sex often before. She knows this wouldn't look good in a court, and I think she almost thinks she deserved it, from things she has said (which isn't much). Yet she told him no. She didn't even say it was ok for him to put his penis inside her. He just did and then said it was accident, even though he didn't stop when she asked him to.

I wish I could do more

Posts: 36 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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