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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » PLEASE HELP ASAP

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Author Topic: PLEASE HELP ASAP
babygirl69
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hi, me and my bf had unsfae sex today.. he accidently ajeculated in me or actually around the veginal area wuteva same thing BUT i had my period and it was like the end of it so it was light... some people said i cant get pregnant cuz i had my period but i dont wanna take the chance. where can i get the emergency pill please help ASAP
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Heather
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Just for the record: one does not "accidentally ejaculatte." If you had unprotected sex, you both PURPOSEFULLY had sex without using a condom or another method of birth control. Trying to be unacountable really doesn't help matters any.

You very much CAN become pregnant from intercourse vvia your period. In fact, you have had a pregnancy risk, and you both have also just had an STD and STI risk, as well.

You can get emergency contraception at any doctors office, emergency room or Planned Parenthood or other family planning clinic. I suggest you also make an appointment for both of you in the next month to have STD and STI screenings and that you both sit down and talk about how to be sexually active more responsibly next time -- perhaps on the way to get the MAP, you can pick up some condoms together.

FYI: you need to get the map within 72 hours of the incident, and the sooner you get it, the better chance it has of being effective.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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LilBlueSmurf
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You can get the emergency contraception pill from a hospital ER, or your doctors office (or planned parenthood, if there is one near you).

Really tho, ejaculation doesn't happen by accident. You put yourself in an unsafe situation, and you know it. Having your period does not mean you can't get pregnant ... really, there is no 'safe' time during your cycle (unless you've had your period for a few yrs, have been regular AND charting). So why not grab some condoms and lube while you're out ... ??


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babygirl69
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okay, i really dont know wut happend "accident or not" he was planin on not ejculating in me but i donno wut happend- but i told him to get me the ECP from the ER right? cuz am not sure if there is an clinic near by. and i was thinkin of takin birth control pills- dat means i have to go to a geno to get them right? they have to have prescription? i know i put my self in trouble but this is not goin to happen again.


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lemming
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Babe, I responded in the other thread you posted in, but here they are again:
http://ec.princeton.edu/
Emergency Contraception

In addition, he can't get them for you, you are going to have to go in yourself. And yes, you need to see a gynecologist or doctor to be prescribed the Pill or any other hormonal birth control.

To find out where to get EC, check the links above. There is a hotline, as well.

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Laurel Lemming
Scarleteen Advocate

"Maypole/The ties that bind you will unwind/To free me one day/And everything decays..." - XTC, "The Wheel and the Maypole"

[This message has been edited by lemming (edited 01-24-2003).]


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babygirl69
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okay i have question about the ECP and birth control do i have to be over 18 or is it okay to be 16? am planning on goin to a planned parenthood tom can they give me prescription or no i have to go to gyno ?? sry i aint too good with these things


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lemming
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Your age does not matter. They have doctors/nurses at Planned Parenthood, and they can indeed prescribe and give you EC and birth control pills.

------------------
Laurel Lemming
Scarleteen Advocate

"Maypole/The ties that bind you will unwind/To free me one day/And everything decays..." - XTC, "The Wheel and the Maypole"


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Heather
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It's totally fine at your age and it will be no problem whatsoever. But you need to go yourself, not your boyfriend for you. Planned Parenthood is a gynecological service clinic, for the record.

Just so you know, "not planning to ejaculate" is not birth control. Not only can pre-ejaculate (which he can't even TRY and control) contain sperm, you still put yourself at risk of pregnancy and STIs with unproected sex.

You get to be half of the decision-making process in your sexual life. You also get to make limits and keep them, like that if he will NOT wear a condom, you will NOT be sexually active with him.

Please finally understand that the risk of STDs and STTIS is no small thinng, and that birth control pills will NOTT protect you from them. So, why not start with condom use -- or take a break until you really have all you need to be sexually active soundlly. Take a look here for an idea of what those things are: Ready or Not? –The Readiness Checklist


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babygirl69
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can i still get std or sti even though my partner doesnt have any cuz he checked and i neva been sexually active with anyone but him ?
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Heather
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Let me be very honest with you: a person who has unprotected sex thoughtlessly is almost always not a person who gets regular STD and STI screens. Very, very few young men get them, period. Doctors don't just routinely check for them. You have to go and ask for all of those screens to be done.

Want verification? Ask him for copies of his results. I'd love to be wrong in these kinds of scenarios, but usually, we're not: chances are you'll watch your partner stutter when you ask for those, or lash out defensively because he knows full well he's fibbing (or he's just assuming he gets checked in routine checkups, which is incorrect).

Someone concerned enough about STDs and STIs is someone concerned enough to use condoms, always.

So, you both need screenings. For real.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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babygirl69
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i asked him about wut u said and he said he got checked cause his x-girlfriend though he was the father of her baby and he had to go check i dont know but i think he lying to me... but i already planned to go to planned parenthood. i have one more question am sorry if am being annoying but i cant talk to any of my friends about this.. in the clinic do they have to contact my parents or sumtin? and do i have to bring my insurance card or wut ? am really sorry for askin so many questions.
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Heather
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Planned Parenthood visits will not be covered by insurance. You have to pay for them yourself, but they are usually on an affordable sliding scale. You can call in advance and ask about it.

Visiting an independent gynecologist can be covered by insurance, but your parents will see the bill. Please bear in mind that we encourage teens to be honest with their parents about their sexual activity. It's nearly always the better way to go. If you opt not to do that, no, PP clinics will not contact your parents in the US in most cases.

There is no legal requirement for STD or STI screens when it comes to establishing paternity. So, either he is indeed lying, or he is assuming STD and STI testing is done with a semen sample, which is all cannot be. And it speaks volumes about his past history, flatly, if he's had another partner who he previously may have gotten pregnant: in other words, you're looking at at least one other incident of unprotected sex, meaning your risk of transmission most certainly exists.

Just a note: partners who do lie to you or take your health and well-being this casually are often partners not worth having.

For the record, you aren't being annoying. You're dealing with a crisis and have questionns. That's totally fine.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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babygirl69
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well i asked him before and said r u clean or wuteva he ssaid yah and gets mad i ask him that because he says he wouldnt put me in danger and that i dont trust him.
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Heather
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Asking a partner if they're "clean," is not smart safer sex practice.

Using safer sex tools like condoms for at least six months, being monogamous during those six months, and getting tested fully at least once, TOGETHER is.

He says he wouldn't put you in danger, and yet HE DID JUST THAT. He's defensive about not trusting him, yet he's been careless with your health. Likely he's defensive because he knows he hass been, and has perhaps out others in the exact same situation. Likely he throws a fit because throwing a fit has worked with you or someone else before by intimidating you into taking risks.

For future reference, the most effective method of getting a partner to use condoms? You hand one over, you say "Here you go -- we use this and have sex, or we don't use it and we don't have sex." You'd be amazed how well that works. And a partner who won't? You shouldn't trust them. They aren't worthy of that trust if they care that little about your health and your life.

Ultimately, a partner who really cares about you? You won't even have to ask or make that order. They'll have their own condoms and put them on gladly and easily without any kind of fuss or fight whatsoever.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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babygirl69
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thank you very much u helped me alot to think of this differently.
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Heather
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My pleasure, honey.

Just remember what you really deserve. Chances are, the sex you're having? You could likely do better and have a better physical time on your own with your own two hands anyway.

And a crud relationship, or a partner who doesn't treat you well, with respect and care all around? It is NEVER better than being alone and wiating for one who does. You deserve that and more.

It may make you feel better to know you're wanted by someone, but if you think about it -- being wanted by someone who doesn't treat you or anyone else well isn't saying much.

Love yourself first, okay?

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 01-25-2003).]


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babygirl360
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aight this morning i woke up i feel tired and my throat hurts and i feel hot and sometimes i feel like i wanna vomit but i never did ? iam scared wut do u think about that?

(am babygirl69 but i just 4got my password)


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logic_grrl
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Really, these symptoms don't tell you anything about whether or not you are pregnant, if that's what you are wondering.

Take a look at:

Pregnancy "Symptoms" / Am I Pregnant?

If it's still less than 72 hours since you had sex, you can still get emergency contraception, if you haven't already.

If it's now too late for that, then you need to wait until it's been at least 10-14 days since you had sex and take a pregnancy test.


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babygirl360
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i have question... is it true u have less chance of gettin pregnant if u had unproteced sex right after it ended or during it ?
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Heather
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No.

At this point, we really can be of no more help. You're reducing your window of effectiveness for emergency contraception by trying to rationalize all this -- if you do not get it TODAY, it will not be effective at all. As it is, it will be less effective than it would have been had you just gotten it two days ago when we first answered you.

If you opt not to get it, you then simply have to wait until your next missed or late period to take a pregnancy test.

In addition, it is against our user guidelines to use more than one screen name. If you forgot your password, you need to hit the "forgot password" link at the top of the boards and have it sent to you. You may NOT create multiple handles.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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babygirl360
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ight am sry about the sn
the clinic is closed until tom so i have to wait because there is not any other places that have it. and this happend friday and i ahve 3 days to get it and i know it will be less effictive but wut else i can do if its closed of weekends?

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Heather
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Honey, look: you posted on Friday, You could have gone to clinics then, or an ER at any time. You opted not to. That wasn't the fates -- that was and remains your choice.

Emergency rooms offer EC and are open 24/7, as noted in the links we gave you. There are lots of ERs in New Jersey.

Either you're going to get up and go or you aren't. We can't make you do it, it isn't our place, but we also aren't going to let a user not take responsibility.

So, again: at this point we can do nothing else for you in terms of this situation. Only YOU can do something. No one is stopping you.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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babygirl69
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ight just to infrom you if you want to know ... that i went to the clinic the other day and i told her wut happend and she said i have very LOW chance of gettin pregnant cause my period just ended and that you have 10 days to ovulate and she doubts anything will happen but i took the ECP pills just incase k
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LilBlueSmurf
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What a lot of people don't understand is that a teenager's menstrual cycles can be a bit irregular. You may not ovulate in the very middle of your cycle ... it could be towards the beginning or towards the end. And really ... there's no way of even knowing.

As well, sperm can live inside your body for up to 7 days. So while you may not have been ovulating when you had sex, you will eventually ovulate, and if there's live sperm up there when you do, you have a chance of getting pregnant.

So protect yourself! Condoms w/ lube and birth control pills are the way to go, if you wish to reduce your pregnancy and STD transmission risks.


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